The Legendary MOE!
by LegendsOfTheCosmos
Summary: Once there lived a lazy, naive starfish, a handsome, Mp3-possessing clam, a trio of siblings that look completely unrelated, a living meteor, and a red pig who wanted to rule the universe. Warning: this is a parody. Rated T for mild language.
1. Prologue: The Interrupted Nap

A/N: Ughhhh…The intro is SO. DAMN. CHEAP. AND. SHORT. …The parody gets longer as it goes on; if it's any apology…? It gets better too. Waaaaaaaaaaay better. The beginning chapters are definitely getting major editing. SOON. RIGHT NOW SOON.

Just a note: It would be best if you can follow along this story without me having to describe everything. I tried to for those of you who might just be here even if you haven't played the game, but it would be really helpful if you note that I can't rewrite the game AND write a parody at the same time. Go do that yourself. This is just a parody.

Review after you finish. I don't care what you say. Heck, you can flame me if you want—I need something in place of a lighter :D. …That's not supposed to be suspicious at all, just so you know *evil grin*. You don't have to give me a critique—_just give me a review_.

DISCLAIMER: Once upon a time—

Secret-Critiquing-Buddy-That-Is-Definitely-Not-From-Another-Franchise-Who-Will-Eventually-Be-Revealed-In-A-Chapter-Or-Two: _Starting off with a story is so immature. Just shut it. *tapes mouth* It's pretty clear that if a fanfiction author owned a franchise, they'd be bragging about it all over the internet. The same is clear for this author._

ABOUT THE FORMATTING: I just looked back over the rules and found out that A. script format isn't acceptable for stories and B. the rules haven't been updated for almost four years…that's kinda weird, seeing how there have been a lot of stories that use that that have been on the site for ages. I'm just going to stick with script format until it becomes unacceptable for the story as mentioned by the site masters. But I REALLY don't wanna have to change the format; I tried a little and it looked like the worst thing that hit the planet—not to mention it took forever to type.

The-Extremely-Strange-Beginning-Of-An-Insane-Parody-That-Is-Probably-The-Only-Parody-That-Anybody-Will-Ever-Write-For-The-Starfy-Section

(So once upon a time, in the cloud-kingdom Pufftop, there lived a lazy starfish prince named Starfy. All he did was eat and sleep and sometimes torture his "best friend", Moe the clam. Starfy NEVER did any of his chores; instead, he left his 6-year-old sister, Starly, to do them all. Starly was MUCH more competent than Starfy was, and did everything, including school and chores MUCH better than he did.)

?: Narrator, get back on track. NOW.

(But anyway, Starfy was napping one day at about 1:34 in the afternoon when a meteorite crashed through the castle roof! -)

?: Be more specific, Narrator.

(…But it wasn't just ANY part of the roof that this meteorite crashed through. THIS particular part of the roof was inconveniently located directly above Starfy's crib. (Note: Look in the game. He sleeps in a freaking crib. Honest truth; just watch the cutscene.) The 'meteorite' landed smack in the middle of Starfy's star-shaped body—)

Space creature: OW!

(-and bounced off of him onto the floor. Hm, maybe Starfy needs some more exercise instead of his usual 'eat-sleep-torture-slack' system he had. But enough talk about Starfy's diet, let's move on with the story. Starfy woke up from his nap, furious that his sleep had been interrupted-even though he got an estimated 15 HOURS of sleep a day. He immediately started throwing a fit.)

Starfy: Hey! What was that for?

(Don't ask me why he was talking to what seemed to be an inanimate object, or why he threw a fit instead of looking to see what hit him.)

Starfy: Huh?

(Then he looks down and sees that the meteorite that crashed through the ceiling is _actually a living being._ Before Starfy can ask any questions to the barely conscious creature, a trio of shadow figures that are grayed all over except for their eyes crash through the wall of the castle, EVEN THOUGH the guards should have stopped them! Well, the SHOULD HAVE is the main part of the sentence. Seriously, shouldn't an alarm have gone off?)

Random Pufftop Guard: Heck no. That would make too much sense. Wait, where am I? I think I'm in the garden…

(Oh well. Hopefully the repair bill is low.)

Starfy: Who are you, and how dare you get my carpet dirty? And why can't I see what your clothes look like?

? 3: If you saw what we were wearing, then—

? 1: Shut up! No fourth wall breaking! Let's just—

? 2: Aaawww, can't we stop for a smoothie?

? 1: AAAAAARRRRGH! YOU _GUYS_ ARE HOPELESS!

? 2: What's 'hopeless'?

? 1: Shut up.

_The first shadow figure, obviously the leader of the trio, grabs the mysterious creature and starts to flee. However, this doesn't sit well with Starfy._

Starfy: Hey wait! I want to punish that no-good nap ruiner all by myself!

? 1: *through clenched teeth* Am I freaking dreaming, or is this idiot star really going to kill someone for waking them up?

? 2: *completely oblivious* Well, I'm pretty sure this is real…

? 1: I KNOW THAT YOU IDIOT! *smacks ? 2*

(The leader's patience snaps, and the shadow figures all get in a fight, allowing the creature 'from space' to flee and jump into the ocean.)

? 1: Shoot! This is why we don't get in arguments! After him!

(The trio jumps off the cloud after it. Starfy just stands there gaping. However, he is broken from his trance when Moe comes up behind him.)

Moe: Don't just stand there Starf! We gotta go after him!

Moe fangirls: Mooooooooe!

Moe: *poses*

Moe fangirl #73: Oh, he's so handsome!

Moe fangirl #157: He's MORE than just handsome, #73!

Moe fangirl #73: I have a NAME, you know!

Moe fangirl #9: Shut up, he might be going on his awesome adventure soon and then we won't get to see him in person!

Moe fangirls #59, #26, and #284: *fangirl shriek* I WANT HIS AUTOGRAPH!

Moe fangirl #99: Shut up, he's arguing!

Moe fangirls: *dream sigh* So…awesome…

Moe: Well? Get moving!

Starfy: What! You expect me to get involved in this? It's almost lunchtime!

Moe: *facepalm* Too bad, Starf! We're goin' anyway! We'll stop somewhere else!

(Moe pushes Starfy over the edge of the cloud, and they fall far down to the ocean. It seems like Starfy's adventure-parody has just begun…)

Starfy: AAAAAHHHHHH!

(…but it's not off to a good start.)

Did the editing help any? It sounds better to me, at least. Review and keep reading please; but it's not like you have much choice on the latter option since the Starfy section is dying and my other story is…less than desirable to read in quality, so to say.

Chow!


	2. The Start of Stupidity

A/N: Still editing. Are these shorter A/Ns that don't include useless information adding to the quality of the story? Whatever. The next chapter is right here, people, but be warned that I'm insane whenever I get writing and that this story is no exception. Also, since it's a parody, there's obviously author-interference. That would be perfectly fine…if I hadn't overused it in the beginning. But I can't think of another character to do an effective job of bitching at Starfy since Moe is too awesome to follow Starfy around all the time. Also note that unlike most other parodies where the author is all-powerful and seemingly all-knowing…well…you'll see…

DISCLAIMER: I've made it to the second chapter and I haven't forgotten the disclaimer yet! I'm so awesome…Now for the cold reality: I don't own Starfy and company…or any franchise for that matter…I'm so heartbroken…

World 1-1

(Starfy smacks face down onto the green-colored ocean floor. Moe and the space creature landed right side up… I wonder why? The space creature, which was a few yards away from them, stood staring at them (how can they stand underwater? And how can they breathe?). Just then, a giant white and blue squid grabbed the non-seafood-menu critter and swam off! Moe started bouncing after them, leaving Starfy to lie face down on the ground. After about fifteen minutes of lying face down, Starfy finally figures out that he's the only one around.)

Starfy: Hey! Where is everyone?

?: They left, moron.

Starfy: Hey, who are you?

?: That is for me to know and you to find out.

Starfy: Tell me now!

?: NO!

Starfy: Why won't you listen to me?!

?: I am my own being, Starfy, and much more powerful! I'm not gonna let some spoiled star who was born with a silver spork in his mouth push ME around!

Starfy: Um, actually I was born—

?: NO! K+! Now shut up!

Starfy: What did you mean, then?

?: It means that you are spoiled and raised in a rich family—

Starfy: Oh, I know now! And it's silver spoon!

?: Who cares? If **chuggaaconroy** used it, then it is practically written.

Starfy: Who's that?

?: That's not relevant right now, Starfy. Now move on and find Moe and that other critter. It's required of you. Do you want to get another punishment again?

Starfy: Uh…

(Flashback)

Starfy's Mom: Do as you're told, or you'll get a punishment!

Starfy: No way, Mom! I don't wanna do that!

Starfy's Mom: Well, you'll get the punishment, then.

(Starfy is sitting in Starly's room tied to a chair, being forced to endure one of her rarely held tea parties.)

Starly: Would you like another cup of tea, Starfy?

Starfy: I wanna get out of here!

Starly: Too bad, you have to stay here until four, Mom said.

Starfy: But it's only ten!

Starly: Well, then, we'll just have to do some other things after this!

(End flashback)

Starfy: No! Not more tea parties! And definitely not dress up!

?: Good, now get back to work.

Starfy: Work?

(Silence.)

Starfy: Hello? Anybody?

(When he hears that nobody is around anymore, he moves forward toward where he thinks everyone went. How could he tell? There were scuff marks on the ground leading in the direction he was traveling.)

? Voice: Ow!

Starfy: Wha?

(It appears that Starfy has bumped his…foot on a purple shell.)

Starfy: AHHH! EVIL SPIRIT!

?: No, you idiot!

Starfy: Prove it! *shivers*

(The lid of the shell opens up, and a pink-haired mermaid peeks out sleepily. ['Pink haired' is TOO a necessary adjective! You might not remember seeing her every time you save!] The mermaid doesn't look to happy—but what did you expect from someone who was suddenly woken up?)

Starfy: Hey! You're that mermaid!

Mermaid: Name, please?

Starfy: Uhhhh…

Mermaid: You forgot? No surprise there. It's Angelica.

Starfy: Oh! And you're still around for me to talk to when I'm stressed and crazy?

Angelica: Yeeesss…That's still my job. Luckily, I get good pay for it. *pulls into a sitting position*

Starfy: Hey, what happened to your outfit?

(It appears as if the mermaid-)

Angelica: _Angelica, please…_

(Oh, uh, _Angelica_-)

Angelica: Thaaaaaaat's more like it.

(-has changed from a shell bikini to a pink tank top with an ice cream cone on it. She's wearing a pink sash around her waist with a dark pink jean skirt. She put her hair in pigtails, and has her bangs pinned up with barrettes that have little plastic ice cream cones on them.)

Angelica: Well, it gets a little boring wearing the same clothes, so I bought some with my pay raise. Now, each of my shells has three pairs of clothes in it, with accessories to match.

(Can I have your job? Please?)

? at the beginning of the chapter: NO! I'll raise your pay if necessary. And what would you buy with it anyway?

(Ummmmmm… I'll get back to you on that…)

Angelica and ? at the beginning of the chapter: Can we get back on track here?

(Yes ma'am. Sorry.)

Angelica: But anyway, I'm here to do the same job as always. And if you want, you can have this Mermaid Gossip app on your iPhone.

Starfy: But I don't have an iPhone…

?: Here, borrow this one that I borrowed.

Starfy: What—OW!

(As you can tell, the phone-)

Angelica and ?: It's called an IPHONE!

(*sigh* As you can tell, the IPHONE-)

?: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO PRONOUNCE IT IN CAPS!

(Fine. As you can tell, the iPhone-)

?: Now that's better. Great job.

(I SAID, as you can tell, the iPhone-)

?: I'm outta here. I'll be watching…

(Pffffffff… I **SAID,** as you can tell, the iPhone- *pauses*)

Starfy: Uh, why did you stop talking?

(Note to self: 20% pay raise. As you can tell, if you remembered, the iPhone landed on Starfy's head. How the iPhone could work underwater, I don't know, but it turned itself on. The mermaid—I mean Angelica—grabbed it and started pressing what seemed like random buttons. She then handed it back to Starfy. Starfy stares at, confused.)

Angelica: I installed the Mermaid Gossip app on your—uh, someone's iPhone! Just check it if you seem somewhat lost—not really lost. It MIGHT have some useful advice. Maybe.

Starfy: Ummm…Thanks…

Angelica: Keep on going straight and you'll get somewhere. I don't know where. Now I have to take a nap- I have a date tonight. Bye. *closes shell*

Starfy: …

(Starfy swims straight like she said…straight into a wall!)

Starfy: Ow! Hey!

(…and drifts down to the ocean floor. In a gap under the wall, Starfy spotted a bubble containing a big pearl was floating in a gap [which was the only apparent way out].)

Starfy: MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY! MINE!

(Starfy jumps for the pearl, but apparently he forgot he was UNDERWATER, and jumps straight into the wall. Again.)

Starfy: OOF! (SM64 REFERENCE!) What…Oh fine! I'll walk, gravity!

(How one can walk underwater naturally is unknown, but Starfy did it anyway. However, he ended up pushing the bubble instead of popping it. Furious, he tries to punch it, but a tutorial comes up when he sets off a sensor by touching the bubble…)

Dialogue Box: Starfy loves pearls!

Starfy: You bet I do!

Dialogue Box: They replenish his energy, so collect as many as you can!

Starfy: I feel energized when I'm rich!

Dialogue Box: You can also use them to buy bonus items for Starfy.

Starfy: Ahhhhhh…

(Starfy's current thoughts…)

(A limo is pulling up to Pufftop Castle. Out jumps Starfy, dressed in the most expensive clothes he could find. He's wearing a pair of sunglasses as he jumps out in front of Materu. She instantly runs to him and kisses him on the cheek.)

(However, before he can finish his thoughts, the Dialogue box continues…)

D. B.: Like costumes!

Starfy: WHAT?!

D.B.: Push the R Button to check out Moe's Case on the Map Screen to do some shopping, Starfy style!

Starfy: No elite stores?

D.B.: Dream on, move on, and shut up.

Starfy: It didn't tell me anything that I could use to get the bubble open! China junk!

(Starfy spends the next hour kicking and punching the bubble around. Finally, he gets tired and Star Spins it. It finally broke.)

Starfy: YES! FINALLY! MINE! Now, to find a way to get Materu to kiss me…

D.B.: I told you, dream on, move on, and shut up!

Starfy: …Fine…

(Starfy moves on with a crushed spirit. Swimming up a curving passage above him, which was more spacious than described, (while picking up some pearls) he ran across a sign with a red arrow on it pointing right. He followed the arrow and came to a door, which he went through. As he came out of the door, he saw something sparkling and red in his path that looked like…)

Starfy: TREASURE!

(Starfy grabs the chest, lifts it above his head; then opens it to find…)

Starfy: A page of Moe's Diary?!

Moe's Diary: Looks like Starfy is off to save the world again thanks to me. I know this rabbit kid's important somehow, and so is this crystal. Hopefully Starfy won't screw up too much this time…

Starfy: How is MOE'S DIARY considered TREASURE?!

?: Moe is AWESOME! OF COURSE HIS DIARY IS CONSIDERED A TREASURE! And not just by fangirls…

Starfy: Hey, I didn't get to ask you—

?: I'm outta here.

Starfy: Not again…

(Starfy swims up another passage that is still more spacious than described and hops out of the water onto a short board path. Moe is standing there, and behind him is a weird looking machine…)

Moe: Come on Starf! Hurry up!

Starfy: Where's the crystal? Give it to me! I wanna make bucks!

Moe: How did you—You read my diary, didn't you?

Starfy: How is it a treasure, Moe?

Moe: I'll kill you for that later. I found this crystal on the edge of the clouds where the space kid jumped off. Let's give it back to him.

Starfy: But—

Moe: Let's GO, Starf!

(Moe pulls Starfy onto the contraption. The two rocket into the air and the screen turns white.)

Starfy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

(And we can hear Starfy screaming in the background instead of the silence of the ending cutscene. Now for my pay raise…)

A/N: It seems that I was dreaming about updating once a week even back when I first drafted this. If you happen to be reading this while it's still in progress; then you can see how it's going. If not, well…the updates are sporadic to say the least?

Whatevs, review!


	3. Moe is in the know AND his case

Level 1-2

A/N: I mentioned in this original A/N that my parents were peeking over my shoulder when I was watching LPs of this. Now my problem is that my DS is out of battery power. I keep losing every way I turn. But enough of this. The epsilon (a few letters after the Greek letter 'Beta') of this chapter will be posted at the end of this parody—once I finish it. Oh, and Mewtwo still stays. He's essential for fourth wall jokes. He won't stay here by himself, though; he gets a 'buddy' later on. Mewtwo, say hi!

Mewtwo: _Fine. Hi._

Aren't purple, six foot tall, psychic pokemon kitties that walk on their back legs awesome?

Mewtwo: _Yes. Move on with the-_

And now for the start of the story!

NOTE: This chapter contains only the basics of the map and Moe's Case. No levels. Once I finish the entire story, I might go back and put in a table of contents so that nobody's confused about the content.

DISCLAIMER:

Nintendo: We're waiting for you to forget the disclaimer so that we can sue you so nobody tries to infringe upon our copyright once they see the example we make out of you.

?: Sorry Nintendo, you still own Starfy. And anything else that I don't own. But just wait until I write a book someday…

Nintendo: *facepalm*

(And now, we return to-)

Starfy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

(-Starfy screaming like a baby.)

SPLAT!

(Starfy landed face down onto some weird, flat system of portals on a beach-themed sheet of paper.)

Starfy: Um, where am I?

?: A dimension between dimensions…

Starfy: Flipside?

?: What game are you in, Starfy?

Starfy: I'm in a game?

?: Yes, Starfy. You are in a game. Thanks to me, you are in control of yourself for the most part, along with anyone else you may meet. However, your environment is the same as if we were in a video game.

Starfy: Why?

?: Because I'm too lazy to change it.

? 2: _Nooo! You've screwed that up!_

?: AAAAAHHHH! Can you fix that with your psychic powers, Mewtwo? Since you're already here and all?

Mewtwo: _Sorry, no. I can't do that. This is another dimension, and I can't fix stuff back in time. You should ask someone else with those powers to fix it. And then kill this idiot._

?: Um, if I got someone to change it, wouldn't we not be having this conversation?

Mewtwo: _Check out a book on time-travel?_

?: Mewtwo, you know that there are no books on time travel in my world.

Mewtwo: _I just wanted to make it blindingly obvious that you have no other options at this point. Oh, and that you're wasting time while you're at it._

?: And you know I can't kill him, I might need him for another-

Mewtwo: *apparently slaps paws over ?'s mouth* You_ almost did it again…_

?: Oops! Sorry Mewtwo! Thanks.

Mewtwo: _You're welcome. But next time, keep your trap shut like you normally do._

?: *glares suspiciously at Mewtwo to try to telepathically ask him _How do you know _that_ you creep_* Fine. Maybe Starfy's forgotten what I said by now. What did I say before I started talking to Mewtwo, Starfy?

Starfy: Ummmmmm…could you tell me again?

Mewtwo: _You know, we can always beg to-_

?: Not until it's finished. We can't leave this unfinished.

Mewtwo: _Fine by me. But don't forget, if __**she**__ refuses, there's always the option of-_

?: I doubt that. I don't need anybody to question what little sanity I have left.

Mewtwo: _In life-or-death or injurious situations, you're actually pretty sane._

?: For Starfy, this would be a life or death situation.

Starfy: Um, who are you talking to? I can only hear your voice.

?: I'm talking to Mewtwo and you can't hear him because he talks psychically—if that's even a word!

Starfy: What's 'psychically'?

?: *apparently smacks forehead* Root word is 'psychic', Starfy.

Starfy: …What's 'psychic'?

?: …Umm—umm—umm—why don't you ask Moe? I'm outta here.

Starfy: Why do you always say 'I'm outta here'?

(Silence.)

Starfy: Pffff. Mooooee! Oh yeah! I'll see what Moe's case is too. Oh joy.

(Starfy looks over toward his left and sees a big, brown suitcase. Guess who's sitting on a corner?)

Starfy: Moe!

(Starfy, you weren't supposed to answer that question, the reader was.)

Starfy: What reader?

(Uhh…If someone had a video camera and was taping you.)

Starfy: Why would they do that?

(Because watching you is quite hilarious. Now get over to Moe—er, I mean, whatever's sitting on that suitcase.)

Starfy: *sigh* Fine.

(If you couldn't guess on your own, Starfy walked over to Moe, who was sitting on the aforementioned big, brown suitcase.)

Moe: Hey Starf!

Starfy: *sigh* Hi Moe…

(Um, Starfy?)

Starfy: What?

(Could you say that with a little more enthusiasm?)

Starfy: *sighs again* Fine… *in high-pitched voice and weird eyes* _Hi Moe!_

Moe: *sighs*

Starfy: Sooo…

Moe: Why are you here? I'm pretty sure that you have a reason for being here.

Starfy: I was ordered by an unknown entity to come here.

Moe: *to himself* That has to be the most vocabulary you've used in a comprehendible sentence yet…

Starfy: What was that? I couldn't hear you.

Moe: Nothing, Starfy. So you're here. Anything else you need to do?

Starfy: Well, it told me to see what this 'Moe's Case' thing is.

Moe: Simple! It's a space-distorted place that can somehow disappear and reappear whenever I bid it to! And it's space-distorted because—

(Because the Author just finished watching a movie where time and space were distorted?)

?: SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!

Moe: *clears throat (Does he even HAVE a throat to clear?)* As I was saying before you started spouting random nonsense *gives warning glares at the sky*, it's space-distorted because there's no other explanation as to how I fit all this stuff in here!

Starfy: What stuff?

Moe: Lots of stuff! I've assigned it twelve pockets!

(Starfy looks at a brown silhouette of something with a ? on it. He squeals in delight.)

Starfy: What's THAT?!

Moe: NO! You can't mess with anything that looks like that yet!

Starfy: Why?

Moe: Because I have orders to keep you from doing it.

Starfy: From who?

Moe: That's confidential. But let me explain everything even though I'm normally not supposed to!

Starfy: Okay…

(Moe starts by hopping down from the top of the lid and bounces over to the top left tab.)

Moe: This is the shop tab! It's obvious because it's labeled 'Shop' and has a purse with some pearls on it!

Starfy: Why a purse?

Moe: Think about it Starf. Are you going to fit a bunch of blue and yellow spheres that have twelve-inch diameters in a wallet?

Starfy: Nooo, but—

Moe: That's why. I'm moving on with the explanation. You can buy lots of dress-up items here, like used umbrellas, makeup, and space suits! Oh, and rubber ducky rings and cellphones.

Starfy: …

Moe: Now! Moving on!

(Moe bounces over to the tab to the right of the 'Shop' tab. It's a blue DS.)

Moe: This is the minigames tab! There are five different games here!

Starfy: I don't have a DS charger…

Moe: These are games that you actually have to play in! You can catch dumplings that someone else cooks, or you can shoot coins!

Starfy: Why would I want to do either of those? And why are there only two that you mentioned when you said there were five?

Moe: You'll find out why you want to play the games later; and you have to unlock the other two minigames.

Starfy: How?

Moe: You have to do a lot of trekking off of the beaten path to gain access to them. But I can't say how.

Starfy: Why—

Moe: Moving on again!

(Moe bounces over to the tab next to it, which has a picture of Starfy smiling goofily while holding a pencil over a teletubbies coloring book.)

Starfy: MOE! HOW DID YOU GET THAT PIC!?

Moe: Your mom. (…Whoops…unintentional…)

Starfy: Grrrrrrr…

Moe: But anyway, guess what?

Starfy: *in clenched…teeth?* _What?_

Moe: You have to write a journal every time you complete a level.

Starfy: Level? And why do _I_ have to write it?

Moe: Who cares about the terminology, Starf? Not the producers. And you have to write it because you're the main character, remember? You said so yourself.

Starfy: Th-that was a while ago!

Moe: But you said infinity. So you have to write it. Go on. Here, write something.

(Moe shoves Starfy a notebook, then plugs in a pair of headphones into his MP3 and ignores Starfy. Starfy just stands there dumbfounded for a few moments, then whips a pencil out of nowhere and starts scribbling in the book. His handwriting might be even worse than the Authoress's—)

?: Wanna keep your job, buster?

(Yeeess…)

?: Then shut the frick up.

(Fine. You don't have to get sensitive about it. And it's written in the script.)

?: But you weren't supposed to say—OW! Mewtwo! Oh fine, forget I even said anything! But I'm watching you, buddy.

(Starfy is writing in the book. Since the _employer_ doesn't want me to mention anything about them, I'll leave it at that.)

**Starfy's Journal Entry 1-1**

Starfy: Why is it titled 1-1?

Moe: I can't hear you… But just so you know, it makes it easier to keep track of.

Starfy: Oh fine.

**Starfy's Journal Entry 1-1**

Stupid Moe and his big

(Starfy's writing is suddenly erased.)

Starfy: Hey! What the—

?: You didn't indent that paragraph!

(But you don't in your fics either…)

?: _That's informal writing! I indent every line in serious works! _So shut up.

(Fine. Starfy, if you want to move on with your life, I suggest that you do what she said.)

Starfy: She?

?: _Start writing, Star boy._

Starfy: Eep! Okay, fine.

?: And don't forget to indent the paragraphs.

Starfy: Stupid freaking…

?: WHAT WAS THAT?

Starfy: Nothing…

?: Good, 'cause talking to me like that is NOT going to go down QUIETLY, I assure you. Unless we were in a library or something…

Moe: Could we just get this over with?

?: Yeah, listen to Moe. Start writing, Starfy, even though writing is technically what I'M supposed to do for—Ouch! Thanks Mewtwo…

(Starfy starts writing in the journal again. Was that not obvious?)

?: Nope, nobody could guess that at that exact line—Ow! This is getting old, Mewtwo.

Mewtwo: _Then shut up._

**Starfy's Journal Entry 1-1**

Starfy: Why is in bold print?

?: So—OOWW! Just because. Shut up and start writing. You can't avoid the inevitable.

Starfy: Fine.

**Starfy's Journal Entry 1-1**

_Stupid Moe and his big ideas… I'm missing Tunaman right now…And all because of some space rabbit…wait…what's a rabbit? I guess whatever that thing was. And why won't Moe let me have that crystal?! That's NOT fair! I'M the prince_

?: The word 'prince' should be capitalized, Starfy.

Starfy: Are you gonna be watching me the whole time?

?: Yep, so don't make any spelling or grammar errors.

Starfy: *shivers slightly* Oh fine.

(Starfy corrects the mistake and moves on.)

(continuing from the last line) _crystal?! That's NOT fair! I'M the Prince of Pufftop, not him! Why can't I __make__ him give it to me?! Oh well. Moe says I'm supposed to write a paragraph or two about my first 'level'. I swear he plays too many videogames._

Moe: I heard that!

_Ugh. How can he hear me write?_

Moe: I have psychic powers.

_Screw you Moe._

Moe: Screw you too, bro.

_Fine. Here's my description._

?: Shouldn't there be a colon there?

_Fine. Here's my description:_

_I fell into the ocean, tried to chase a kid and Moe only to get verbally beaten around by some mermaid and tortured by dialogue boxes that broke my heart._

Moe: You deserved that; and she didn't want you anyway.

_Damn Moe. I hate swimming._

Moe: We're sea creatures. We're supposed to swim; get over it.

_I'm checking out this Moe's case thing he has and wondering what the heck is going on with the world. I don't know any more._

Moe: You never knew in the first place.

_I knew I should've taken geography. I guess I'll have to write more later; better get the tour of Moe's Case over with._

Moe: What's that? You're finished?

Starfy: Yeah.

Moe: Then let's move on! *stuffs MP3 in a secret pocket*

(Moe skips over the top right corner, which is a question mark, then bounces over to the left side of the case again, only to skip over the next two shadows, which were also question marks. He stopped at the third shadow from the left, which had a picture of some blue-framed glasses and a blue-and-white skirt. Its title said 'Stuff'.) Note: Pretend that Moe doesn't have the up and down arrows. I just wanted to make sure you understood how many tabs were available at this time.

Starfy: Stuff? What kind of stuff?

Moe: Dress up stuff! Unfortunately, you don't have any right now, so you'll have to come back later.

Starfy: *shivers* I don't think I _want_ to come back to that.

Moe: Well, you'll have to eventually. Moving on!

(Moe skipped the shadow on the right of the 'Stuff' tab and bounced down to the bottom left, the final row. This slot had a picture of Starfy watching a horror movie with the tab 'Story' underneath it. The Starfy in the picture was freaking out, apparently over the horror movie.)

Starfy: How do you get all of my embarrassing photos?

Moe: Again, your mom.

Starfy: I'm not going to bother. What's it do?

Moe: You can go back and watch cutscenes of storyline, like the beginning of our adventure!

Starfy: I don't think I'm interested…

Moe: Well, you'll have to explore it sometime, but not right now, luckily for you. Only 22 main cutscenes are shown, though. Just so you know. Now, for my favorite part!

(Moe bounced over to the next-to-last tab that had a shadow of Moe talking to another shadow character that looked like Starfy bending over. It's title: The Moe Show.)

Starfy: I'm not going to remember that little incident…

Moe: Well you're in luck, 'cause neither do I. Right now I can only interview you if you press that tab, but as we go through this journey, I can interview more. You wanna get _interviewed_, Starf? *evil eye*

Starfy: *slightly intimidated* Uh, not right now. Let's just get this over with.

Moe: Fine. *evil eye again* But if you want to get interviewed, just let me know…

(Moe hops over to the final tab: Notes. It has two pieces of paper that came out of Starfy's baby book on its tab.)

Starfy: Uuugghhh…

Moe: You can see notes that you find in treasure chests here! Right now, you only have mine… *death glare*

Starfy: That was an accident!

Moe: Whatever. That's the grand tour. Any questions?

Starfy: Nope…

Moe: Well then get moving. And get lunch, too. I'm starving.

Starfy: Where do you expect me to get food?

Moe: That McWahoo's over there.

(Moe gestures toward the McDonald's rip off on the edge of the beach on the beach themed paper.)

Starfy: Oh fine… The usual?

Moe: Yup.

Starfy: I guess it's on me…like usual.

Moe: Yup. Thanks Starf.

(Now as we leave them to their lunch-)

Moe: _Dinner_.

(-_dinner_ break, let's get something to eat ourselves. I'm quite hungry.)

?: Yeah, I'm starving.

Mewtwo: _Me two. Pun was completely intentional._

?: *grins even though out of sight* I'll give you some seafood, how about that?

Mewtwo: _Sounds good to me._

(Can I have some?)

?: You have to buy your own.

(Why?)

?: Mewtwo's cute and a bunch of other good adjectives I won't list. And he didn't give me all the hell that you did throughout this story.

(Oh fine.)

Mewtwo: _Guys, the camera's still rolling…_

?: Oops. The end. *glares at narrator*

(Yeah…The end…)

A/N: We got hit by an electrical storm last night. It was really wild, but surprisingly enough, nothing was injured except for this story's progress. I had dealt with my other story when it ended (and was up until 1:30 in the morning doing so), but I needed the big E in order to see Moe's case because I didn't feel like getting out of my bed and turning on a light at 1:30 AM would be the wisest thing to do when my parents are in the room right across the hall and can see the light coming from the bottom of my door.

I'll try to get more updates for you!

Now review! Unless you were caught in an electric storm like we were; in which case, how are you reading this?


	4. Fish, Pearls, and iPhone apps

Chapter 3: World 1, Level 2…or, in simpler gamer terms, world 1-2…Oh wait a minute, it's Chapter 4…never mind…

A/N: Sooooo… You'll notice that I stated in the story that I 'got someone to predict what would happen'. You can mentally insert whatever time-travelling creature you want, though I originally intended for it to be the Starfy game itself.

By the way, I won't be using the touch-screen apps all the time, just when they seem fitting.

Oh! Oh! Did I mention that Mewtwo gets to stay? Since none of you seven-to eighteen readers protested his presence (if you're still reading this), I figured that as long as he didn't become too much of a big part in the story that any dog lovers or pokemon haters would get offended. 'Cause I love cats and I love pokemon! …and purple is my second favorite color too, but I swear, when it comes to critters, I didn't just choose him because of that. Oh, and also because I needed a neutral character from a franchise that nobody in the Starfy section has played. Mainly one that can act like a bitch without being OOC. Mewtwo plays this role perfectly.

Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon or Starfy. I own the ideas and two cats, however.

(Okay. So, cue Platinum soundtrack, Lake Guardian battle theme.)

?: Wrong script, you moron!

(Oh. Hold on. *papers shuffle* Here we go! So, now we return to Palk—wait, is that a typo?)

?: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! READ WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT! THAT WAS JUST A TYPO! (The sad part is that that' joke' was unintended. I was listening to pokemon music while I was writing that part. I already had Palkia's name spelled out and was about to move on with the story. The only reason I noticed that was because I didn't know what I wanted the next word to be. Shame on me; I can't tell one video game story from the next. :D)

(Thanks for answering my question. But none of this sounds right to me.)

?: It's a parody, idiot! It's not supposed to sound right!

(Umm…not that I enjoy your torture or anything, but…um…why didn't you say 'ow' in pain for breaking the fourth wall in the presence of Starfy?)

?: Because the idiot starface down there is still listening to his tunes. Luckily, I said that sentence BEFORE his next little song comes on…

(Aren't we progressing in the story?)

?: Yeah, in about five or ten minutes. I gotta finish my corn dog.

(Why and where did you get a corn dog?)

?: Confidential and confidential. Now shut up and watch Star-boy.

Starfy: *finishes humming an unidentifiable song, then pauses for the MP3 to load* I love this music, don't—AAHHHHHHHHHH! OH CLOUDS!

Moe: *stares at Starfy like he's an idiot* Whatsamatta' Starf?

Starfy: I HATE high pitched, techno-ish music! Who put _this_ on my MP3?!

?: *snickers, then jots down that fact in 'The Great Big Book of Things Starfy Hates'.*

Starfy: Did you hear something?

Moe: Hear what?

Starfy: It must just have been me…

Moe: By the way, what DO you have on that MP3 player anyway?

Starfy: I'm not telling you!

Moe: You don't have to! *tries to grab Starfy's MP3 player with his nonexistent hands*

Starfy: No way! *runs around the beach like a moron*

FIVE MINUTES THIRTY-NINE SECONDS LATER…

Starfy: *turns around to stick tongue out to Moe but trips over a conveniently placed seashell instead* WHOA!

(The MP3 player flies out of Starfy's hands and into the paper-looking ocean. Starfy dashes over to try to find it, but gets thrown back up on shore by a wave.)

?: Partial victory!

(Wait…did you or did you not know that that was going to happen?)

?: I didn't. I got someone else to predict that part for me. That's how I'm able to write your script at least somewhat decently. I'm glad that they were right.

(Whatever…are you finished with your corn dog?)

?: Yeaahh…

(Then let's move on.)

?: Aww, but I haven't had dessert yet!

(Have it later. How long can this take?)

?: If only you knew. Okay, here goes nothing. STAAAAARRRFFFFFFYYYYYYYYYYY!

(Starfy, who had been moping on the shore, jumps up about 2 feet, 1.5 inches—wait, what's with all the exact estimates?)

?: Just keep going, moron! Do not question your employer!

(Okay, okay. So he jumps up about two feet in the air, then lands face-down on the beach.)

Starfy: Aaaaaahhhhh! It's the unidentifiable voice!

?: Yes, it is! And as the Unidentifiable Voice, I am telling you that you need to move on with your adventure!

Starfy: What happens if I don't?

?: Then you will face a horrible, _horrible_ punishment worse than you can imagine! Imagine that!

(That's contradictory…)

?: Shut up. I said that on purpose.

(Whatever…)

Starfy: How can I imagine it if it's worse than I can imagine?

?: That's the whole point!

Starfy: I'm confused…

?: Awesome! Er, whatever. Step back onto that portal with a star spinning in it.

Starfy: Where?

?: Over there, you idiot.

Starfy: I can't see you, so I don't know where you're pointing.

?: THE ONE RIGHT BEHIND YOU, MORON!

Starfy: Oh! *turns around, then steps on portal*

?: *sighs* Now, see those dotted lines leading to that blue portal?

Starfy: Yeess…

?: Spin.

Starfy: Why?

?: Just spin. Oh! But before you do that, look above you.

Starfy: Huh?!

(Starfy finally notices the picture and the banner above his head. The banner has on it 'In Deep Trouble'. The picture is one of him and Moe falling from Pufftop Castle into the ocean. Moe has a parachute on and is floating down without a care. Starfy, however, is wide-eyed and wide-mouthed, apparently screaming like a girl as he falls with nothing to save him.)

Starfy: Oh…great…

?: That picture always makes me laugh. Now, SPIN, starboy, SPIN!

Starfy: Why should I?

(A psychic force suddenly pushes Starfy and makes him spin like a ballerina. Once he spins, he is somehow pushed along the thin dotted line onto the blue portal.)

?: In twenty seconds, you will be teleported somewhere along the beach!

Starfy: I DON'T WANNAAAA!

?: Well too bad.

Starfy: Hey! I can't get off!

?: Ha! I win!

Starfy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- *teleports*

?: Now, back to my dessert. I'm leaving this to you, narrator.

(Oh joy. Make sure that you're back in fifteen minutes, okay?)

?: We'll see. Chow.

(Starfy appears underwater on a small ledge in a downward-sloping tunnel, which is still surprisingly bright. For some unknown reason, Starfy starts freaking out.)

Starfy: AAAHHHH! I could've fallen over the cliff.

(It's underwater, Starfy. You can swim.)

Starfy: Oh. Okay.

(So swim down the passage.)

Starfy: Why?

(Because there's nowhere else for you to go.)

Starfy: Oh fine.

(Starfy swims down the passage. About halfway down, he gets pulled down to the bottom really quickly from some change in the gravity…or some sensor thing. When he hits the 'ground'-)

Starfy: OW!

(-he sees Herman.)

?: SPOILERS! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW HIS NAME WAS HERMAN YET!

(Where did you come from? I thought you went to get dessert…)

?: I can wait. Someone's gotta monitor this insanity.

(But Herman's been in previous Starfy games…)

?: But some people might not know that!

(*sigh* Fine. He sees a hermit crab with a pink-and-blue striped shell with orange claws.)

Herman: This is bad, man, this is…really really bad…

(Hey, his name's right there!)

?: That's when you're supposed to find out his name. Get with the game!

Starfy: Huh? Who're you?

Herman: Hm? Oh, it's you, Starfy. Remember me? Oh well, it doesn't matter if you do or not. Listen, could you do me a favor?

Starfy: What kind of favor?

Herman: You see, this Goblup ate some of my Coddies. You know what Coddies are, right?

Starfy: C-c-coddies…

_Flashback_

(Starfy, Starly, Moe, and Starfy's parents are at a pet store. Starfy is looking at some red fish. There's a sign on the tank that says 'Please do not stick your fingers in the tank'.)

Starfy: Pretty fishies…I want one! *reaches out to grab one*

(The coddie of his choice does not want Starfy. Instead, it bites down on his …paw…)

Starfy: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

(Everyone in the store is laughing crazily, even the manager, who _finally_ manages to get the coddie off of Starfy and back in the tank.)

_End Flashback_

Herman: So you do know. Alright, here's the deal. I've tagged the Goblup with a tracker. If you wear this… *plops helmet onto Starfy's head*

Starfy: OW!

Herman: Then it'll pull you in the direction of the Goblup. Don't worry; it's not too much trouble. Sure, the Goblup can go through a few walls, but if you're quick enough, you won't even need the helmet to pull you. The helmet will also show an arrow in front of your face in case it's not blindingly obvious where he went. Got everything? Good. Go get 'im!

Starfy: How am I—

Herman: Oh! And you can't ram into him. You have to hit him with your Star Spin. Got it now?

Starfy: I need a tutorial…

?: Too bad. I'm a little low on budget costs right now, so there's no tutorial that pops up annoyingly, okay? You'll just have to watch it later. Go get that Goblup!

Starfy: Ughh…okay…Whaaaaa!

(The helmet takes off to the right up another passageway at lightning speed, pulling Starfy with it. The Goblup just looks at him strangely. Starfy tries to star-spins in order to slow the helmet down, but he hits the Goblup instead. The Goblup opens his mouth, and a Coddie swims out. The Goblup then flees toward the right.)

Starfy: AAAAAAHHHH! A coddie! Come back, Mister Goblup!

(Starfy swims after the Goblup with the Coddie close on his tail…if starfish even HAVE tails. He slams it with another star spin, making it cough up another coddie, who follows Starfy also.)

Starfy: Not another one! Come baaack!

(The Goblup floats over toward the right again. Starfy spins at it again. The Goblup opens his mouth again and a coddie swims out and follows Starfy again. Starfy freaks out again. Are these 'agains' ever going to end?)

Starfy: Not another one! Come baaack!

(Probably not.)

_Repeat this process six more times…_

(Now Starfy has only one more coddie to get. Hopefully it will be as easy as the last ones…)

Starfy: AAAHH!

(The Goblup freaks out and starts swimming very quickly through a wall. The helmet zooms after it, but not quickly enough, leaving Starfy bashed into the wall.)

Starfy: OW!

(The Goblup is swimming circles all around the course now. Starfy's helmet is going one way, then the other, then another. It's not getting anywhere near the Goblup, though. How long will it take for it to get its act together?)

ONE HOUR LATER

(I shouldn't have said anything…)

Coddie #1: Dude, you think we should do something?

Coddie #2: Heck yeah. Otherwise we'll be waiting on star-face to save Steve all day.

Coddie #1: Okay! One, two, three!

(On the count of three, the coddies swam toward the Goblup and rammed him from all different directions, making him cough up the last coddie…finally… The Goblup disappears, and the helmet speeds back to Herman.)

Herman: Awesome! Thanks for saving my buddies, even though they could've saved themselves the whole time!

Starfy: What?!

Herman: Oh! Here, I'll move so you can go save that space rabbit kid. See ya!

(Herman stands there feeding his coddies as Starfy swims on behind him.)

Starfy: This is why I don't like Herman—Wah!

(Starfy stubs his foot on a purple shell. Guess who comes out?)

Starfy: The mermaid!

Angelica: It's _Angelica_, you moron!

(Starfy, you weren't supposed to answer that question…)

Starfy: Yeah, yeah, I know, the supposed reader was. Who cares.

Angelica: Start talking. I'm supposed to be on lunch break.

Starfy: Oh! Well, um, I started out by almost falling over a cliff, wore a stupid helmet to try to get some vicious fish back from a nice big circle-puffy fish, and now I'm right here.

Angelica: Oh. Okay. See ya!

(Angelica closes the lid to her shell, leaving Starfy standing there alone again.)

Starfy: Oh well. Moving on.

(Starfy walks—if that's even possible—up an underwater slope, taking his sweet time. Once he gets to the top, however, he slowly starts falling into a dip in the slope and gets tangled in some kelp.)

Starfy: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Until he NOTICES something SHINY next to him!)

Starfy: OOHHH! SHINYYYYYY!

(It's another treasure chest!)

Starfy: YEEESSSSSSSSS! Hopefully it's not more of Moe's Diary. *holds chest, then opens it*

(It's not MOE's diary, it's…)

Starfy: HERMAN'S diary!?

**Herman's Diary-"Squidnapping!"**

Today, I saw a strange little guy get dragged away by Big Squiddy.

Starfy: What's Big Squiddy?!

The kid was dressed like he was from outer space. Far out!

Starfy: What's outer space?

?: Take a science class.

I hope he's Ok. I could help…But I can't leave my Coddies.

Starfy: Ugh! I wish he HAD helped.

?: Well what's done is done, and what's not done is not done. Move on.

Starfy: I don't know why I'm listening to you, but okay.

(Starfy swims back to the top of the ledge and sees…)

Starfy: Ooh! A water slide! I wanna go on it!

(Starfy jumps (?) into the strong water current.)

Starfy: Wheee! Wheee! Oh! Pearls!

(Starfy swims into another part of the 'water slide' and gets stuck in a whirl that keeps spinning him in circles.)

Starfy: Wheeeeeeee! Oh! Dizzy!

ONE HOUR LATER

?: Starfy, you should've finished with this stage long ago. Here, let me get you out of that.

Starfy: How—OUCH!

(The Authoress used an explosion in space to push Starfy back into the main water stream. Starfy gets pushed along to the end of the slide; then promptly floats to the bottom and faints.)

?: *blasts airhorn* GET UP, YOU MORON! YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME!

Starfy: AAAAHHHH! EVIL SPIRIT!

?: Turn away from the main door and head toward my left, which would be your right!

Starfy: Huh?

?: Gaaaahhhh!

(An arrow appears pointing to the Authoress's and the viewer's left and Starfy's right.)

Starfy: Oh! But why don't I just go through the other door?

?: Just because. Now get moving, or I'll use my awesome powers-

Starfy: I don't wanna know!

(Starfy swims off in the directions pointed. He finds that some strange, crackable blocks are in his way.)

Starfy: What're these for?

?: You're supposed to break them.

Starfy: But isn't that being wasteful?

?: They're obstacles! You're SUPPOSED to break them!

Starfy: Well…okay.

(Starfy spins through the blocks and starts to swim up a passage until he sees…)

Starfy: Awwww! It's a hopping bush with eyes! I wanna pet it!

(…he was also supposed to see the sign that says 'Do not pet the Seawee'.)

Starfy: AAHHH! It's sitting on me!

TEN MINUTES LATER

(Starfy has escaped from the crushing from the sea bush and is swimming up the passage in terror. Then he sees…)

Starfy: OOOHH! A blue door with a star on it! I never knew our species looked so handsome. Does anyone have a mirror?

?: GO THROUGH THE DOOR!

Starfy: Oh fine. *goes through door*

(Starfy swims up out of the water and onto dry land. He rejoices for a moment that he doesn't have to do any more swimming…until he sees…)

Starfy: Herman?!

Herman: Hey Starfy! Can you help me?

Starfy: I—

Herman: Good! I dropped five red pearls over here in plain sight, but I still can't find them! I need them to buy special treats and video games for my Coddies! You'll help me find them, right? Good! Here, I'll even attach a counter to your head to tell you how many you have left.

(Herman slaps a piece of tape to Starfy's head. Then he adds on four more.)

Herman: Just rip off a piece of tape every time you find one! Every time you touch one, it'll automatically warp to me. Go get 'em!

(Starfy falls into the water on top of a red pearl. Great, that's one. He sees another one straight across from him and swims over to grab it, not caring at all that he gets whacked with kelp in the process. He swims further up that slope and notices yet another pearl in plain sight. He slams into a few bubbles, but gets pearl three in the process. Then Starfy doubles back and heads to the bottom of the cove, where he spots a pearl floating in some kelp. After he gets that one, he swims to his left or the viewer's right, but finds that it's just an empty passageway. He then swims back to his right or the viewer's left and spots the last pearl in some kelp and bubbles. After he touches it, he magically warps back to Herman. (Estimated time it took for him to do this task: fifteen minutes.))

Starfy: Hey! How did—

Herman: Great! Thanks a lot Starfy! As thanks, I'll add a piece to your map so that you can get tortured even more!

Area Secret 1 has been added to your map!

Starfy: Oh great.

Herman: Well, I guess you should get back to your adventure. See ya!

(Starfy swims back down to the area where he wanted to go through the door but the Authoress wouldn't let him…)

Starfy: Ha! I'm going through this door now, haha! *goes through door*

(…and finds Moe waiting on the other side…)

Moe: Hey Starf! My treasure detector says there's treasure nearby! Why don't you see what it is?

Starfy: I don't have a treasure detector…

Moe: Oh, here, than let me give you this. I developed it myself.

(Moe grabs Starfy's –er, someone's—iPhone and installs an app on it.)

Moe: See? There it is, Moe's Sniffer! Lemme tell you how it works! If you see a treasure icon in my eyes, it means that there's treasure nearby! If they start shaking, it means you're closer to the treasure! If an exclamation point appears, it means that there's a specially marked star door nearby. That works the same as the treasure chests, but it's not in my eyes. Lemme show you how they work in a real-life application!

(Moe grabs Starfy and drags him over to some green balls of seaweed. He shoves the seaweed out of the way, still dragging Starfy behind him.)

Moe: See? The me on the touch screen is getting more excited! Now, let's try the passage on the viewer's left!

( Moe swims up aforementioned passage, plowing through some kelp, bubbles, and seaweed over to an area where many, many cracked blocks are magically floating above them.)

Moe: All right Starf! Get cracking! Break a path through these blocks!

(Starfy does the aforementioned task. He does it slowly, but he doesn't get dizzy, either. He also breaks a crack in one of the walls.)

Moe: Okay! Now, before you grab that treasure chest in plain sight, come with me and I'll explain about cracked walls, too! You see, keeping spinning into this wall, and it'll break. Try it.

(Starfy spins into the wall like Moe says (ignoring the wildly vibrating eyes of the iPhone Moe) and breaks a passage through the wall.)

Moe: Sometimes the passages won't always be this easy! Some of them will be like mazes! But that's irrelevant right now. Just remember to spin if you see a cracked wall! Now, explore this new crack that's been opened to you!

Starfy: But I opened it!

Moe: Who cares!? Just explore it!

(Starfy finds two pearl-filled bubbles and a Seawee. He manages to get all six big pearls without getting near the Seawee.)

Moe: Now you can grab the treasure chest! I'll see you later!

(Starfy just stands there for a moment; then opens the chest.)

You got some Beachwear! Aloha! Go to the Stuff screen to change your outfit.

Starfy: *shivers* I don't like dress up…It's evil…

?: Get back to the story.

(Starfy does just that. He notices a cracked wall again, and manages to break it while swimming upward. He gets all seven big pearls hidden there, and only loses three HP getting them. After that, he swims up the slope to the viewer's right and his left, sees a water slide, ignores it, and swims up the slope above it. When he reaches the top of that slope, he sees an arrow pointing to a globe-looking creature.)

Globerto: Greetings, my friend! I am Globerto! I travel the world making maps. I love them! They're like magic!

Starfy: Could you teach me geography?

Globerto: Perhaps, someday, perhaps. If you ever get lost, I can teleport you back to the main map. I'll try to help you at any time in the future. For now, the end of the stage marker is right behind me. Ta-ta, my friend!

Starfy: Well, at least he's nice…

(With that, Starfy jumps onto the teleporter, lands on the Gluglug Lagoon map, and watches a path form to the next level.)

Starfy: Cool! It's magic!

Moe: Whatever.

Angelica: Hi! I wrote this down!

Starfy: I hope that wasn't any kind of blackmail…

?: I'm hungry.

(How much am I getting paid to do this?)

Moe: Check out my new pets, Starfy! A coddie and a Seawee!

Starfy: AAAAAAHHHH!

(So…I'm assuming this is the end?)

?: Hold on…It's the end as soon as I tell the readers how long Starfy took to finish the course in all…

(…)

?: OK! It took him about two-and-a-half hours!

(Whatever. The-)

?: The humorous END!

(You changed the script.)

?: Who cares? THE END INFINITY, NARRATOR!

Starfy: I'm hungry now…

?: …

(…)

Moe: …

Angelica: …

Starfy: …What?

A/N: That took waaaaayyyyy longer than I expected. It could be because I spent yesterday and today working on it…but oh well! At least I got it up on time!

…What do you MEAN 'I said I'd update on the third _Saturday_ of the month', Mewtwo? It is…Sunday…damnit…

Well, close enough! I'll see you next time! Hopefully I'll start writing it in advance next time.

Mewtwo: _You will, stupid human._

Thank you Mewtwo! Now review please! PLEEEEEEASE! Mewtwo, you say please too.

Mewtwo: _Fine. Please review._

Okay! Thanks Mewtwo! If you're out of ideas to put in your review, just copy and paste this:

I reviewed YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!

See? That'll make it easy on you!

That's all for now, so Author and purple pokemon cat out of here!


	5. Secrets are too necessary!

Chapter 5—World 1-5—Secret 1

A/N: I had to retype the beginning of the story because it just wasted way too much time. (I'll include all the scraps in one big chapter at the end in case you're curious) I was kinda reluctant about another part in this chapter because it really crushed the fourth wall (with a metaphorical wrecking ball), but it was necessary for me to include all the parts of the story that I need to string together eventually. This is probably the worst chapter so far, but I really hate this one secret level, so that probably didn't help. Not to mention that it was really short to begin with, so I had to add some more arguments in to lengthen it when I couldn't think of any jokes because of its simpleness. And yes, I know this is overdue, but I couldn't decide what parts of this story were lame and which weren't. However, expect updates once a week. I explained why on my profile.

…I need an awesome story starting phrase like SilverUmbra's phrase 'FIC!', but I can't think of anything. Ah well, I'll think of one eventually.

Disclaimer: A fourteen and a half year old owning a video game franchise? Dream on.

Mewtwo: _Excuse me, but what are you doing on that stupid computer?_

?: Mewtwo! It's not stupid!

Mewtwo: _You didn't answer my question. What are you doing?_

?: Playing solitaire. I've just reached my 444th game as I'm typing this.

Mewtwo: 444? You've played almost one hundred games of solitaire in ONE WEEK?

?: Gah, Mewtwo! Leave me alone! Like you said, let's get back to the STORY!

Mewtwo: _That'll have to be a 'let me', not a 'let us'._

?: What? Why?

Mewtwo: _I have something scheduled. Are you sure you won't screw up while I'm gone?_

?: I survived the last chapter without your help; I can do this one! Don't worry Mewtwo!

Mewtwo: _That's when I worry the most. Okay, see you. *teleports*_

?: Now where was I? Solitaire?

? 2: THE STORY, FOR PETE SAKES, THE STORY!

?: Oh yeah! Thanks Dia! Now where's my airhorn? *shuffles stuff* Oh _here_ it is! Prepare for the start of the story!

? 2: Isn't this about the time when you give some excuse about your updating time or other random stuff?

?: I've already wasted enough time. People can already figure out that I don't own anything, so I'll move on to roll call instead of the disclaimer. By the way, you aren't going to be here the whole time, are you?

? 2: I have better stuff to do, but if you need me, don't hesitate to call me. Oh, and drop the puns about time.

?: Don't worry. And the pun was unintentional. Now… *blasts airhorn*

Starfy: AAAAAAAAHH!

Moe: Shoot. I guess this means it's time to get going.

Angelica: Come on, Moe; let's just get this over with.

(Do I have to do this?)

?: Yes you do.

(For how much longer?)

?: According to my special outline that is definitely not left empty for the most part, about seventy-five more episodes of this.

(Oh come on…)

?: I'm being serious. And are you complaining? It's a bad job market out there, you know.

(Fine. Am I doing roll call?)

?: Yes. That was included in your job description.

(Fine. -)

?: Stop saying 'fine'. It sounds too repetitive.

(F—I'll try…)

?: That's better. MOVING ON!

Starfy: With what?

?: Your adventure, duh! ROLL CALL!

(Starfy?)

?: It's obvious that Starfy was here; he was just talking to me.

(Fine. Then I guess that finishes it up.)

?: Is Starfy the only one on the list? NO! And stop saying 'fine'.

(But-)

?: Starfy spoke, but no one else did, so go and roll call everyone else who didn't say anything.

(Ugh…Moe?)

Moe: WOOHOO!

(Angelica?)

Angelica: Present.

Starfy: Present? Where?

?: SHUT UP, STARFY!

(…and I'm here, and you're here. Where's-)

?: Mewtwo had something scheduled, so he's not here.

(So everyone's here. I guess this is where people start reading?)

?: Oh sure, sure.

(Why do I get the feeling that that's not the truth?

?: Oh, I don't know…

(*sigh* Whatever. Let's begin.)

Starfy: What are we doing today?

Moe: YOU are doing Secret 1 today!

Starfy: Why must you speak with exclamation points all the time?

Moe: Not all the time! Just sometimes!

Starfy: You just did now.

Moe: That doesn't mean I do it ALL the time!

?: Moe's right, Starfy! Now get on that blue portal!

(Starfy walks over to the portal for Level 1-3.)

?: WRONG PORTAL, MORON! THE **OTHER** BLUE PORTAL!

Starfy: Oh!

(Starfy runs over to the portal for Level 1-5.)

Starfy: What's so bad about that other level?

?: It doesn't follow typical chronology.

(But the numbers-)

?: Screw it, we're doing them in the order they're unlocked, and that one is the one that was unlocked first. Now, you see this wooden plank that is most definitely not computer operated?

(Starfy looks over to the right and sees a wooden sign with a computer hanging on the back-)

?: Narrator…

(-with a blue square and some numbers on it. The-)

?: Listen up, Starfy! The **1-5** at the top shows that you're in Level 1-5! The blue square with the magnifying glass and the **Chests: 1 left** show that one treasure chest is left in the level for you to gather! There's no picture up above you because it's a SECRET level, and it's awesome!

(Isn't it because it's an optional level that has no relevance to the story?)

Starfy: It doesn't?

?: SHUT UUUUUUUPP! And yes, it IS relevant, so don't get any crazy ideas!

(Oh, uh, yeah…)

?: But I have better things to do with my time, like—

? 2: Finishing your schoolwork?

?: Dia, please! I thought you left! Leave me alone!

(Aren't you setting a bad example for kids?)

?: No kids would be—OOOWW! That HURT, Dia! Sheesh! You're way bigger than I am!

(You okay? You don't sound like it.)

?: Ooowww…no, I'm _fine_, I just—NO NO NO, I'LL SHUT UP! You'll PAY for this, narrator! Now for your original question, I'm NOT setting a bad example. I get my school and chores done even if I DO slack off! Now could we just MOVE ON WITH THE STORY?!

(Okay, okay. *snickers*)

?: What's so funny?

(You are…*snickers*)

?: And what do you mean by that?

(Oh, um, well…this story, I mean.)

?: *suspicious* Hmmm…I doubt you're telling the truth, but we really need to move on. You can leave now Dia.

? 2: I'll be _watching_…

?: *shudders* Okay, let's move on!

(The screen darkens and the Secret 1 panel falls onto what would be to the readers the bottom screen…or at least, it was SUPPOSED to…)

Starfy: OOOOOOOOOWWWWWW! What the—

?: HAHAHAHAHA!

Angelica: Gah! Get serious, will you? This is not the time for stuff like this!

?: Yes it is! It's a parody! And besides, I've always wanted to do that.

Angelica: Oh for…

?: But yeah, I guess that is kinda immature.

(The panel vanishes, and Starfy is teleported to the next Level.)

Starfy: Hey! It's-

?: -another swimming level? YES! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Starfy: How did you know that?

?: I'm the Authoress! Why WOULDN'T I know that?!

Starfy: Authoress? As in writing?

?: Yeah duh!

(Um, I thought the whole point of you making excuses-)

?: I'm tired of making excuses; it's a drag to the readers! It's the best time to reveal the truth to Starfy right now, while Mewtwo's not here! So listen up Starfy! You're in a story, but not just any story! You're in a PARODY, aka EVERY FANDOM'S WORST NIGHTMARE!

Starfy: I'm a famous fandom? AWESOME!

(You shouldn't have said that; it'll probably just give him a bigger ego.)

?: I can say what I want; I'M writing this thing after all!

(*sigh*…fine…)

Starfy: But who cares if you're writing this 'thing', as you called it? How's that important; and so what?

?: So I have all these awesome powers and stuff!

Starfy: Like what?

?: Well, I could teleport you or anyone else I wanted wherever I wanted, throw in almost anyone I wanted, control some of the environment, change the music—er, pearls, and a bunch of other random stuff! I could even give Moe superpowers!

Starfy: Why Moe? Why not me?

?: AND I can play favorites. Which means that you can't do anything to change my mind about things like Moe's awesomeness, your and my level of stupidity, how much time you have to spend on this, Solitaire, the new—

Starfy: Why would I want to change your mind on any of the ones after the first two?

?: Because you're annoying like that.

Starfy: I'm annoying?

?: AAAAAAGGHH! YES, you ARE annoying, Starfy. But I could change THAT if I wanted to…

Starfy: Um, not provoking you or anything, but what could YOU do to torture me?

?: Oh, you asked for it, Starfy! I could turn you your least favorite color, loose a mob of fangirls on you, make you sit through more tea parties and dress up sessions, tie you to a chair and force you to watch a movie of your most embarrassing moments, make—

? 2: THE READERS HAVE LIVES, YOU KNOW! STOP WASTING TIME, AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I _HATE_ THE MERE IDEA OF WASTING TIME!

?: …Fine. Move on with the course, Starfy. Who cares if it's a water level.

Starfy: Who just—

?: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! I—

? 2: YOU KNOW, NOBODY CAME HERE JUST TO HEAR US BICKER, JUST IN CASE IT WASN'T OBVIOUS!

?: It wasn't obvious, Dia. No, not at all—

? 2: DON'T GET SARCASTIC WITH ME! AFTER ALL, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?!

?: I am!

? 2: WRONG! I AM STILL ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE FANDOMS! I AM IN CHARGE OVER YOU! NOW GET BACK TO THE STORY AND MAKE THIS THE LAST TIME I HAVE TO INTERFERE!

?: Oh fine, Dia. Come, Starfy, get on with this.

Starfy: But this wasn't even my fault!

?: Deal with it! Life is tough!

Starfy: But if your title is 'the Authoress', then why is your screen-name still '?'?

?: Because I'm too lazy to change it right now. Now, stop your needless stalling! You can't avoid the inevitable!

Starfy: I can delay it!

?: Just move it!

Starfy: ! Okay, okay, I'm going!

(Starfy swam down the corridor to the southeast, completely and totally avoiding the bonus pearls that he could have gotten. This was going along smoothly until he reached the bottom of the passageway and found out that…)

Starfy: AAAAAHHH! SEAWEE!

?: Come on, come on, just spin into them!

Starfy: Huh? *spins into Seawee* Cool! They're gone!

?: Well duh!

(Dear readers: What video game franchise has the Authoress been playing lately? It's not hard to guess…)

?: How DARE you diss pokémon! Exclamation points rule!

Moe: WOOHOO!

Starfy: Hey, where did you come from?

Moe: Oh for…the _moon_, Starfy, the _moon_.

Starfy: Cool! Can I go?

Moe: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!

(Definitely pokémon, definitely pokémon.)

?: Speak for yourself. You sound like—oh shoot, I'm getting distracted. GET BACK ON TRACK, PEOPLE!

(I thought you should have a clincher for the end of the paragraph…?)

?: Not only are you getting off topic narrator, but you're also questioning my parody-writing skills. I do not appreciate you doing either of those. Stop interrupting or I'll leave you here!

(…)

?: Now…STARFY! GET BACK ON TRACK!

Starfy: Wha? Oh! But I don't wanna…

?: Moe, explain to Starfy why he should move.

Moe: With pleasure. One, it's the beginning of the level and you're going nowhere fast at this rate. Two, the sooner you finish, the sooner you can get back to whatever you were doing back at Pufftop Castle. Three, if you didn't give the Authoress such a hard time throughout the story, you might actually get rewarded despite being in a parody.

Starfy: How would you know?

Moe: She's saving me some birthday cake from some birthday party.

Starfy: Yours?

?: Not mine, Starfy! And let's not go into detail; after all, you never know when a future college might look at this…

Starfy: ?

?: STOP GETTING ME OFF TRACK! LET'S JUST GET ON WITH THE PARODY! I'M GOING TO GO BACK AND CHECK HOW MANY WORDS I WASTED ARGUING WITH YOU WHEN I FINISH THIS THING!

Starfy: But—

?: MOE will help you! And don't forget about your iPhone!

Moe: …

?: Moe?

Moe: …

?: Don't worry Moe, I'll let you borrow some of my video games in return for your help.

Moe: WOOHOO! Come on Starf! Let's go!

Starfy: By that, do you mean getting rid of more horrible creatures?

?: Hey, just a note: Don't let PETA hear you say that! Last interruption!

Starfy: Who's PETA?

?: …*snickers* PETA is an evil scientist who experiments on fandoms who don't do what the Author tells them to.

(Uh, isn't it-)

?: DON'T SAY WHAT IT REALLY IS!

Starfy: Then what—

FOUR HOURS OF OFF-TOPIC ARGUING LATER

?: THAT DOES IT! WE HAVE ARGUED OVER PETA, COPIERS, MY SCHOOLWORK THAT I TOTALLY DID STUDY FOR DESPITE DIA'S CLAIMS, EARTHQUAKES, ROPE, CARDINALS, THE WIND, POKÉMON, CORN CROPS, BONES, AND MATH CURRICULUMS, AMONG MANY OTHER THINGS AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE COURSE! WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY?!

Moe: Somehow, your mind must have unintentionally warped the conversation so that whenever you tried to get back on topic, you fail.

?: Who cares? I can solve that problem with duct tape! *tapes mouth*

(Is that incredibly stupid or what? That's so overused.)

Sign that the Author held up: The more overused, the better!

(Whatever. Starfy, move on. It's getting toward dinnertime.)

?: Dinnertime? That was three hours ago; we spent it arguing, remember?

(YOU spent it arguing. I already got dinner; to tell you the truth.)

?: You little… Whatever, we've spent nearly five pages now just arguing. Now it's too late to do anything, what with it being 11:00. Damn, I didn't even get to play Pokémon—

Moe: We get the point; let's just go to sleep! I'm tired here!

?: Oh! Sorry Moe! Night!

THE NEXT MORNING

? 2: WAKE UP, YOU SLACKER!

?: *groans* Mmm—

? 2: YOU WENT TO BED WITH THAT PIECE OF TAPE ON YOUR MOUTH?! HOW STUPID ARE YOU?!

Moe: Psst! Starfy!

Starfy: What?

Moe: Let's get going while she's arguing! That way, I can go back to my video games and you can go back to listening to—

Starfy: Nobody needs to know what I'm listening to, Moe.

Moe: You're getting into the spirit of breaking the fourth wall, eh? Well, don't overuse it. Let's go!

(The twosome traveled about five steps before they came to a mess of green seaweed balls and blocks.)

Starfy: What am I supposed to do here?

Moe: It's obvious.

Starfy: Break the blocks?

Moe: Yes. And then you push the seaweed balls around so that you can get through.

Starfy: Oh! Great idea, Moe!

Moe: Make it quick.

? 2: MAYBE if you didn't SPEND TEN HOURS PLAYING MYSTERY DUNGEON 2 YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THIS CHAPTER UP EARLIER!

?: BUT IT'S ADDICTING, DIA! YOU CAN'T DENY IT, EVEN IF YOU WERE A BOY IN THE GAME

? 2: SHUT UP!

(Starfy spends an astounding two minutes solving the puzzle, eighteen minutes shorter than I thought he would. He and Moe swam up the next passageway, with Starfy glancing over his shoulder ever moment at the Seawee and Moe ignoring him. At the top of the passage, there was a smaller block puzzle, which only took one minute for Starfy to solve this time. Behind this puzzle was the door, which Starfy went through, obviously. When he came out the other side, he saw…)

Starfy: A purple shell…that only means one thing…Mer—

Angelica: It's ANGELICA!

Starfy: Oh, um, hi…

Angelica: Well? What have you done?

Starfy: I spent six hours in heated debate, solved two puzzles, and went through this door behind me.

Angelica: Sounds good enough to me. See ya.

(Starfy is about to swim down the passageway when Moe pulls him up another passageway near the top.)

Starfy: Moe, what was that for?

Moe: If we go up here, it'll get us to the end faster! And my treasure detector says that there's treasure up here…

Starfy: Huh? *checks Moe app* Oh, I guess so! Well, let's go! I wanna be rich!

Moe: *sighs*

(Starfy swims around another loopy passageway, breaks some blocks in his way, swims downward and sees…)

Starfy and iphone Moe: TREASURE!

Starfy: Huh? What the?

iPhone Moe: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

Moe: I love doing that…

Starfy: How do I make it stop?!

Moe: Collect the treasure.

(Starfy quickly grabs the treasure chest and opens it.)

Starfy: I really hope it's not something stupid.

Moe: I really hope it it.

You got Herman's Diary!

Starfy: Again?

Boy, that was scary, man! I was just grabbed by that same giant squid!

Starfy: Ha! Revenge!

I thought I was done for,

Starfy: YEEEESSSSS!

But then I pressed back and forth to wriggle out of his grasp just long enough to escape!

Starfy: WHAAAAAAAATT?! NOOOO!

Moe: He couldn't have written it down if he was dead, Starfy. Now let's go before the idiot writing this and that time-obsessed dragon catch up with us.

Starfy: That does sound like a great idea, Moe. Let's hurry!

*sounding somewhere in the distance* ? : NO!

*still in the distance* ? Two: YES!

Starfy and Moe: Let's go!

(Starfy swims through the passage on his left and the viewer's right-)

Starfy: Not that again!

(Well whatever; they need to know. Then he swims up the next passageway and solves yet another, easier block puzzle, pushes a few more seaweed clumps aside, and sees…)

Starfy: Yes! The door! Is this the last one?

(How would I know? Only the Authoress would know that.)

Starfy: Let's just run.

Moe: Intelligible plan.

(After going through the door, Starfy find another overused block puzzle, solves it in an even shorter time than before, and notices a group of five Unu above him.)

Starfy: Betcha I can spin into all of them in one streak! Watch!

Unu: Ah!

(Starfy manages to spin into all the Unu, earning some bonus pearls for the streak bonus. However…)

Starfy: Whoa! Where—

Moe: You forgot about what happens when you spin too many times? Already?

Starfy: Ohhhh…not right now, I remember well enough. Just let the room stop spinning…

(Starfy lands on Moe, who just sits there for a few seconds. Then, Moe swims up toward the surface-with starfy still on top of him. Moe bounces over the Seawee, scattering Seawee food as he goes, and jumps back into the water near the end of the course.)

Moe: Look at all the pearls, Starf!

Starfy: Awesome! Fifteen big pearls!

Moe: That makes seventy-five little pearls! Let's collect them!

Starfy: How did you know that it would make seventy-five little pearls?

Moe: I can skip count up through the fifteens.

Starfy: Oh. Cool!

Moe: *grins* Yup.

(Moe and Starfy gather the pearls, then jump onto the end of stage teleporter, bringing them back to the map.)

Angelica: Hi!

Starfy: Hello!

Moe: WOOHOO!

Starfy: Wait…

Moe: You need to write some journal entries, Starf! You're one behind!

Starfy: Can't it wait?

Moe: Well…okay. I won't tell.

Angelica: I won't either.

Starfy: Sweet! Now if only this wasn't a parody…

(Where's-)

?: Hi Moe! Here's your cake and videogames, and everyone else, I brought some cake for y'all too! I felt sorry for y'all, being in a parody and knowing it must be hard.

Starfy: Thanks! This does help…

Angelica: Great! Cake for lunch!

(Do I get any?)

?: …Okay.

(Thanks.)

?: Come on, guys! We have to make at least one more parody-like joke before we end this!

? 2: I can help with that…

?: What—HEY! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT SPRAY PAINT?!

? 2: The store. Take one everybody!

Moe: I call red!

Starfy: Sweet! Spray me red, Moe! I've always wanted to be red!

Angelica: Pink!

?: Greeeeeeeeeeen! Hey! Stop it, Dia! I don't wanna be blue!

? 2: Hahaha…

Mewtwo: What did I just walk in to?

Everybody besides Mewtwo: *sweatdrop*

Mewtwo: Tell me later. *pulls out yellow spray paint can*

?: Aw no, he's armed!

Moe: WOOOO! *fires spray paint randomly*

Angelica: It's on! *sprays ? 2*

? 2: Hey! *sprays ? again*

?: Unfair Dia! *sprays ? 2*

(Well…whatever. The end. Now if you'll excuse me… *takes out purple spray paint* I've got a job to do. *fires*)

A/N: Yeah, you can tell by the end relations between Moe and Starfy that I don't like doing parodies. This is probably the only one I'll ever do. So anyway, did you like it? I feel like it kinda got OOC toward the end…maybe I could write a regular Starfy story if I get an idea that is only one chapter or two.

Here's another review copy and paste:

I REVIEWED **AGAIN** YAAAAAYYYYY! WOOHOO!

Easy, right?

See ya next week!


	6. Big Squiddy's Television Time

Starfy Parody Chapter 6, Level 1-3

A/N: I was so stunned when I looked back over this and found that it was about eight-and-a-half to nine pages long. I only spent two and a half hours on this chapter! Editing included! But whatever. Here's your well-deserved chapter, which, by the way, is MUCH better than the LAST chapter was…

**Disclaimer: **

Me: CAN'T BUNSTON BE MINE PLEASE?

Bunston: …Sorry, no way. *flees*

**On the map**

Starfy: I'm RED, Moe, I'm RED! And it's all thanks to you! You're awesome!

Moe: You're welcome. However, I prefer being yellow.

(Moe is covered in pink, green, blue, purple, orange, and white spray paint. It appears as if he tried to scrub it off, but failed. Starfy, on the other hand, is completely red. Go figure.)

Starfy: Why aren't we starting?

Moe: Maybe she forgot about us…

Starfy: Really? Awesome!

Moe: You know what this means, though, right?

Starfy: That we sit here forever until she remembers us?

?: It means you go on without me!

Starfy and Moe: Huh?

?: …

Moe: It must just have been our imagination.

Starfy: How did you know I heard it too?

Moe: Magic.

Starfy: That doesn't explain anything…

Moe: It's good enough.

Starfy: And since when did YOU have magical powers?

Moe: They're not just magical powers, Starfy; they're awesome, magical, writing powers. And I got them last chapter when the Author said she could give me superpowers.

Starfy: Aww…

Moe: If it makes you feel better, I can only use them in the most dramatic moments when me using them would be funniest.

Starfy: Well, what do you wanna do now? Hang out on the beach?

Mewtwo: _No, you get to work._

Starfy: Hey, what are you doing here?

Mewtwo: _I came to get this show on the road._

Starfy: What road?

Mewtwo: _Don't make this any harder than it should be. The road is metaphorical; the phrase means—_

Starfy: Oh, I get it now! Sorry.

Mewtwo: … *facepaw*

Starfy: But why do we have to go? You're not in charge.

Mewtwo: _I have orders to tell you to go. From the idiot in charge._

Moe: *Takes off sunglasses that appeared from nowhere* Speaking of which, where is she?

**Far, far away**

? 2: …And furthermore, the ending was completely unrelated! You could have done a way better job than that, and you know it! Maybe if you weren't slacking off all the time, you could actually do a decent job! I—hey, are you listening to me?

?: *stops looking out window* Hm?

? 2: PAY ATTENTION! IT'S BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO TIE YOU IN A CHAIR!

?: Who would want to listen to this besides the readers? Not me, that's for sure!

**Back on the beach**

Mewtwo: _Busy._

Starfy: I've never heard of Busy.

Mewtwo: *facepaw again*

Starfy: Hey, I read where someone ruined that line in a comic strip, so I decided to try it.

Mewtwo: _Thank God…_

Moe: But anyway…we have to move on, right?

Mewtwo: _Right._

Moe: And the sooner we move on, the sooner we can be lazy again?

Mewtwo: _Right._

Starfy: You'll keep saying right no matter what we say, right?

Mewtwo: Wrong. Now get to work. *shoves Moe and Starfy onto the portal for level 1-3*

Starfy: Aaahhh!

Moe: You shouldn't have said anything, Starf!

(Starfy and Moe appear on a muddy beach next to-)

Starfy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! GIANT SQUID!

(…Big Squiddy. Thank you for ruining my line, Starfy.)

Starfy: You're welcome!

? 3: Hey you guys, over here! He's got me! Help!

(Big Squiddy, who is 'sitting' on the beach, is holding the same rabbit from before in his oversized left tentacle.)

Moe: Come on Starf! Move it and save him!

Starfy: Wha—the squid—

Moe: He's the first boss of the game! You should be able to take him down in twenty seconds and not get hurt at all! I guarantee it!

Starfy: But the last time you guaranteed something to me—

Moe: Then I bet you!

Starfy: Well…okay.

(Starfy did a Mario-style jump onto Big Squiddy's head; then jumped onto his tentacle…)

Big Squiddy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! THAT HURT!

(…causing Big Squiddy to scream in pain and let go of the space rabbit. The instant Starfy touches the rabbit, however-)

Starfy: Huh?!

(-he and the rabbit transform into a fire-breathing dragon!)

? 3: How accurate.

Starfy: Really? A fire-breathing dragon? AWESOME! But how did this happen?

(Did the strange little rabbit make this happen?)

Starfy: Oh. Thanks for the hint!

Moe: Hurry up!

Big Squiddy: YOU CAUSED ME TO CRY LIKE A BABY AND SCREAM! AND NOT ONLY THAT, I'M MISSING MY FAVORITE TV SHOW! NOW YOU WILL PAY!

Starfy: Whoa whoa whoa, you've got a favorite TV show? That means you have either a computer or a television set.

Big Squiddy: SO?!

Starfy: So how do you change the channels?

Big Squiddy: IT TAKES A WHILE, BUT I USE THE TELEVISION REMOTE! THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO TURN THE TV ON A HALF-HOUR EARLY EVERY TIME I WANT TO WATCH SOMETHING!

Starfy: Why are you always yelling?

Big Squiddy: BECAUSE I'M ANGRY AT YOU! BUT I'M NOT ALWAYS YELLING! LIKE NOW!

Starfy: You're still talking in caps…

Big Squiddy: OH, THAT! THAT'S BECAUSE THE AUTHOR IS LAME AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO REFERENCE SOME POKÉMON GAME! DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?

Starfy: Yeah…

Moe: You could've figured that out yourself, considering that the Author is responsible for most everything crazy around here.

Starfy: Good point.

? 3: Huh?

Starfy: We'll tell you later. Now, what—

Mewtwo: _Excuse me, but I believe that you and Big Squiddy were supposed to be beating the living seafood out of each other right about now._

Big Squiddy, ?3, and Starfy: OH!

Mewtwo: _So get moving!_

Starfy: Wait! What about our tutorial?

Mewtwo: _We still have budget cuts to deal with. We don't have enough money to buy another DS to show you tutorials on._

Starfy: What about YouTube?

Mewtwo: _…Good point._

Moe: According to this YouTube Let's Play I just watched, you can run around, jump—but not as high as you normally can—around, and breathe fire!

Starfy and ? 3: Sweet!

Big Squiddy: WHAT?!

Starfy: Ha ha! We shall defeat this big, evil squid with our awesome fire powers!

Big Squiddy: FOOLS! THINK OF ALL THIS WATER BEHIND ME AND HOW I COULD USE MY GIGANTIC TENTACLES TO FLOOD YOU OUT!

Starfy: !

Big Squiddy: AND THINK ABOUT HOW I COULD SQUASH YOU EASILY WITH MY AFOREMENTIONED TENTACLES!

Starfy: !

Big Squiddy: …NOW TOSS THAT ALL ASIDE AS I SIT HERE AND DO NOTHING BUT SLAM MY TENTACLES INTO THE GROUND!

(As Starfy and the space rabbit gape at this extremely stupid decision, the boss encounter music plays. Big Squiddy slams his tentacles onto the ground and a black bar that says 'BOSS' with ten orange bars on it appears in the sky above them. Moe just sits there, completely unamused.)

Starfy: Moe! Why aren't you helping!?

Moe: It's a hidden law of video games! Only the main characters can fight against bosses unless you unlock them through bonus activities or hacking!

Starfy: Then hurry up and get Action Replay!

Mewtwo: That's for the pokémon franchise, idiot!

? 3: Why aren't we fighting him?

Starfy: Good point!

(Starfy and ? 3 breathe fire onto Big Squiddy's tentacles, causing an invisible siren to go off.)

Big Squiddy: HEY! YOU CAN'T BATTLE ME UNTIL THE BELL GOES OFF!

(An invisible bell goes off.)

Big Squiddy: …OH SH—

(Starfy and the space rabbit continue to scorch Big Squiddy's oversized tentacles, draining his health bars.)

Dialogue Box: It's not very effective…

Starfy, Moe, Mewtwo, ? 3, and Big Squiddy: Hey, where did-

? 2: Curse you, kid! Stop making pokémon references and get back here!

Starfy, ? 3, and Big Squiddy: Oh.

Mewtwo: *facepaw*

Moe: Since it's nothing important, let's go already!

(Starfy and ? 3 continue to breath fire onto Big Squiddy's tentacles, utterly defeating him.)

Big Squiddy: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

(Explosions start going off around Big Squiddy as he sinks into the sand, cursing about how he was going to miss his awesome television show.)

? 3: That was it?

Moe: Yes, unfortunately it was.

(Starfy and the sweet little space rabbit transform back into their original states as Moe casually strolls—er, bounces over.)

Moe: So, you sure turned that oversized squid into seafood, eh?

Starfy: That was a lame pun, Moe.

Moe: That's why I made it.

? 3: Moe? Your name's Moe?

Moe: Yeah, but anyway—

Starfy: Who are you? How did you get to Pufftop Palace? Where'd you come from? How'd you do that transforming stuff? How—

Moe: One at a time Starf. But we'd really like to know.

? 3: Well…I don't know where I come from, or how I got to Pufftop Palace. I know where that is, but I don't know how I got there.

Moe: You—

Starfy: -don't remember?

? 3: No…I don't…

Starfy: You don't remember anything? How did that even happen?

Moe: Probably when he crashed through your roof.

? 3: Uh, sorry…

Starfy: That's okay!

Moe: Hey! You dropped this crystal thingie; do you wan' it back? Maybe it'll help you remember something!

? 3: Shiny…crystal…shard? There's something about that…that I remember…remember…

(Moe hands the crystal to the blue rabbit.)

? 3: How…where…ow, headache.

**Flashback**

Unknown Voice 1: Over there! I see his ears!

Unknown Voice 2: Thanks! But who _wouldn't_ be able to tell that they were his ears?

Unknown Voice 1: I don't know…you?

Unknown Voice 2: WHAAAAAAATTT!?

Unknown Voice 3: Let's just get him!

? 3: Oh no! You're not gonna catch me!

(The rabbit starts battling a mob of creatures. He knocks most of them out, but a few take him by surprise and slam into him, knocking him backward. The poor, sweet, innocent—ugh, I'll skip all the adjectives—rabbit fell into a strange rocket-like machine—right onto an orange button. The button turned green, and the machine began to shake; then took off into the sky.)

Big, Hard-to-Understand Voice: GET HIM, YOU FOOLS! BRING BUNSTON TO ME!

(The shadow baddie swarm just stands around frantically looking for something.)

Big, Hard-to-Understand Voice: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING ON?! GET HIM!

Swarm Leader: B-but sir, we—

Big, Hard-to-Understand Voice: WHAT IS IT?!

Swarm Leader: WE don't actually have anything to chase him with!

Big, Hard-to-Understand Voice: INCOMPETENT FOOLS! I'LL HAVE TO USE **THEM** TO GET THIS JOB DONE INSTEAD!

**End Flashback**

? 3: Owww…Wh-what…happened? I have a headache…

Moe: Well, how about you take some of my aspirin?

? 3: Thanks for the offer, Moe. *takes aspirin*

(The blue rabbit's eyes suddenly grow big.)

? 3: AAAAAAAAHHH!

Starfy: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Moe: My ears…what is it?

? 3: S-stay away! Y-you must be bad guys too! You're trying to trick me, aren't you?

Moe: No, we just—

? 3: Well you're not gonna trick me!

(The sweet, inno—ugh, you get the point without all the adjectives most likely found in a thesaurus—space rabbit ran across the beach and out of sight.)

Moe: Was that part of the parody?

Mewtwo: _Nope, that's what's actually supposed to happen._

Moe: Ugghh…now we don't even have an excuse.

Mewtwo: _You're not supposed to._

Starfy: Hey, he didn't take his crystal. Can I keep it as a souvenir?

Moe: NO! We're gonna take it back to him! Now let's go!

(Moe runs off after the space kid, leaving Starfy standing on the beach. Starfy pulls out his iPhone.)

Starfy: Maybe the mermaid app will have some excuse, or at least some info…

(Starfy opens up his—er, _someone's_—iPhone and flips to the mermaid app. The pink strip at the top says 'Mysterious powers…'; the smaller blue tab says '1-3'. The mermaid, who is wearing a blue tank top with a branch of cherries on it and an orange skirt, has a speech bubble next to her.)

Speech bubble: That's so totally not one of your normal abilities, Starfy! Just who is this big-eared kid?!

Starfy: …That didn't help…

Speech bubble: I told you it wouldn't always be useful! It's just here in case you forget what you were doing!

Starfy: I think I'll switch back to Moe's app…

(Luckily for Starfy, the touch screen Moe didn't have anything to say, which was both a good thing and a bad thing.)

Starfy: Actually…Moe staring at me is a bit creepy. Lemme see what other apps are on here…*flips through apps* Crazy Chicken Pinball? Fruit slingshot? Littlest Pet Shop: Extreme Dance Beats? Super Mario 63? Where do all these crazy apps come from?

Mewtwo: _Don't question it. And put that away; you're supposed to be searching for that kid._

Starfy: Hey, when the Author's away, the fandoms will play!

Mewtwo: _Do you_ want _the Author to-_

Starfy: You know, you actually have a good point.

(Starfy puts the phone away and starts dashing off down the beach—until he runs into something blue and round.)

Starfy: Oops! Hey, Globerto! Sorry about that.

Globerto: That's perfectly fine. Do you need to go back to the map?

Starfy: Not right now, but thanks for the offer!

Globerto: Just let me know if you need my help!

Starfy: Okay!

(Starfy waves to Globerto as he's walking—and that's why he trips over a purple shell. The shell's lid flips open a little violently, revealing the-)

Angelica: Ex_cuse_ me?

(*sigh* …revealing _Angelica_.)

Angelica: So, Starfy, what's happening? I see that you're still red.

Starfy: Well, I just found some space rabbit with Moe. We teamed up and toasted Big Squiddy, who is missing some television show, and then Moe showed him the crystal and then the kid ran off and Moe ran after him and I'm going after both of them and then I ran into Globerto and—

Angelica: Too many 'and's, but continue on.

Starfy: -and now I'm talking to you.

Mewtwo: _You forgot the part where you were flipping through your iPhone apps and arguing with Moe and Big Squiddy—and me._

Starfy: Those aren't that important.

Angelica: Well, whatever, good enough. I have something planned for tonight, so ciao!

Mewtwo: _Did you say that to reference Super Paper Mario?_

Angelica: Yes. I had instructions.

Mewtwo: _Excuse me for a few moments…_ *vanishes*

Starfy: Where'd he go off to?

Angelica: Who knows? But you need to get moving. Bye.

(As Angelica hides back in her shell-)

Angelica: I'M NO COWARD YOU LITTLE—

(Sheesh, you don't have to yell—)

Moe: *appears out of nowhere* YOU STOLE MY LINE, YOU—

(Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I don't mean to rip people off! But anyway, Angelica went back in her shell and Starfy went through the next door without getting distracted. When he appeared on the other side, though…)

Starfy: Another purple shell? How—

(The shell opens up, revealing Angelica yet again.)

Angelica: I didn't ask for these to be placed here! They're just wherever they happen to be!

Starfy: I haven't done anything worth saving though; I just went through a door.

Angelica: That's good enough to call a save. Chow for now.

(Angelica closes the lid to her shell once again, swearing under her breath. Starfy moves on down the passageway taking the easiest route possible. When he's just about to go through the door at the end of the underwater tunnel, something unexpected happens.)

iPhone: SECRET! SECRET! SECRET! SECRET!

Starfy: Agh! *opens iPhone to Moe's treasure detector app* Secret mission area, eh? Hopefully it won't be like the last one. But where is it?

(After searching the whole area through and through for half an hour, Starfy has found nothing but fifty pearls. No secret area. He swims back to the area by the door where the exclamation point had been shaking the hardest, lies down, and stares at the ceiling—only to have to double-take when he sees some cracks in the ceiling. Breaking them, he finds-)

Starfy: The secret door was here all along?! Unfair!

Mewtwo: _It's just gonna get harder as you go along…_

Starfy: WHAAAAATT?!

Mewtwo: _Just go through the door already._

(Starfy heeds Mewtwo's advice and goes through the door—to be face to face with two beings he knows all too well.)

Fork: Hey, Starfy! It's you! How come you're red?!

Starfy: Herman!? And…how do I know you? And I'm red because I wanted to be red.

Fork: We met in preschool, remember?

Starfy: But you're older than me…

Fork: Yeah! That's why I hate you!

Starfy: I don't get it.

Fork: You asked me how many times I had failed preschool when we were there together! I know you were just curious, but it bruised my oversized, completely inflated ego, a crime punishable by extreme humiliation!

Starfy: Oh yeah! You bullied me all through preschool! You'll pay for that; I'll make sure you get what's coming to you!

Fork: I'll make sure you get what's coming to _you_! Just as soon as I beat Herman here!

Starfy: Hm?

Herman: Hey, Starfy! Could I ask you another favor?

Starfy: Do I have I choice?

Herman: Yes, but this is a perfect opportunity to beat Fork!

Starfy: Beat Fork? Okay, I'm all ears.

Herman: All you have to do is reach that flag over there before he does! Will you race him for me?

Starfy: Sure, I can beat that blowhard!

Herman: Sweet! Thanks, Starfy!

Fork: What?! _You're_ racing me? But that's against the rules; Herman has to race me!

Herman: I kinda hurt my claw when I was walking my coddies the other day…I forgot to mention that…

Fork: Well, whatever! I get to humiliate both of you in one fell swoop! Hope you can at least get off the starting line; you don't even have fins!

(Starfy and Fork line up at the starting line. Starfy picks the point behind Fork to start at, just to add insult to future injury. Because Fork had to stop and rest for a few seconds every time he traveled two yards, Starfy made it to the finish way before Fork, despite the fact that he got caught in a few currents along the way. When both of them made it back to the starting line, Fork started screaming at Starfy and Herman in fury.)

Fork: You beat me?! I don't believe it! You must've cheated!

Starfy: You stopped to breathe every six feet. It's blindingly obvious that you'd lose.

Fork: You must've trained at the secret training ground, right?

Starfy: Huh? Secret training ground?

Fork: You don't?! Quick, you'll have to go there so when if I ever lose again, which I won't, I'll have an excuse as to why!

(Fork gives Starfy the map to Secret Area 2.)

Fork: Fork STILL rocks, though!

Starfy and Herman: Ugh…

**(Back at the door to the next part of the level…)**

Starfy: Well, at least that's over with. Now, to get the rest of this done…

(Starfy goes to the door and notices something strange—the music has changed and there are signs all over the place that have pictures of squids and televisions on them. Words are written under these squid pictures: 'WARNING: YOU ARE NOW TRESPASSING ON BIG SQUIDDY'S TERRITORY! FLEE OR ELSE!')

Starfy: Who'd be scared of that guy? Not me!

Big Squiddy: AHA! I'VE FOUND YOU AT LAST!

Starfy: Aw, come on, not another Squiddy chase…

Big Squiddy: YES ANOTHER SQUIDDY CHASE! NO ONE INTERRUPTS MY TV TIME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!

(With a little help from the currents of water, Starfy stays far ahead of Big Squiddy, who is fiddling with a television remote. Starfy quickly slips ahead through the door.)

Big Squiddy: GET BACK HERE!

(Meanwhile, in the next area of the level, Starfy is about to swim down the passageway to the viewer's right when-)

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

Starfy: AAAAAAAHHH! MAKE IT STOOOOPP!

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

Starfy: *pulls out iPhone* Here we go…

(Starfy spends the next fifteen minutes swimming around the top right and bottom left of the level, trying to find the treasure so the iPhone would stop buzzing. He finally gets the idea to look at the ceiling again, and, upon finding a passageway upward in one, swims past more seaweed balls to find the elusive treasure chest containing-)

Starfy: Some sunglasses! Awesome, I love sunglasses! I have a collection at home, you know.

(With the annoying sound effects of Moe's app neutralized, Starfy resumes his search for the door when he sees another shell. He kicks it, making Angelica open the lid.)

Angelica: Anything new happening?

Starfy: I completed a secret mission against Fork, my new old nemesis, unlocked a secret training ground, got chased by the same angry, television-loving squid, found a pair of sunglasses, and talked to you.

Angelica: Weird enough to be true, true enough to be good enough. *goes back in shell*

(Going through the door behind her shell, Starfy finds himself on Big Squiddy's territory yet again. Luckily, the scene is pretty much the same as the last chase. The only difference this time is that halfway through the race, Big Squiddy grabbed some pearls that Starfy was about to get. Starfy was so infuriated by this act that spun into Big Squiddy's tentacles three times, making him drop the pearls. The television-obsessed squid let his tentacles fall onto his head, successfully knocking him out. An overjoyed (and still red) Starfy grabbed the pearls and swam through the next door. The moment he comes out the other side, he is confronted by-)

Moe: Hey Starfy!

(-Moe.)

Starfy: Did you find him? And how did you get past Big Squiddy?

Moe: I didn't find the kid; but let's keep searching. We'll just sniff around a little more.

(Starfy sniffs around the water, then starts coughing. Moe slaps Starfy on the back.)

Moe: Not literally! I mean looking for him!

Starfy: Oh…*weakly* Thanks Moe.

Moe: You're welcome. And for your second question, Big Squiddy is not terribly hard to get past unless you're a resident.

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE!

Starfy: Oh come on…

Moe: Music to my ears…

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

(Weaving through the only path available, Starfy moves through the level searching for treasure, keeping his eyes on the ceiling at all times. When he spots a crack, he spins into it immediately; quickly locating the treasure.)

Starfy: It's another note…

Dialogue Box: You got **The Mysterious Journal**!

Starfy: It's only one page…

Dialogue Box: Video games aren't concerned about that. We're supposed to eliminate logic.

Starfy: Well you need SOME logic in order to survive…

Dialogue Box: Just certain logic.

Mewtwo: _READ the JOURNAL._

I am terribly worried. My memory seems to be a blank slate. Who are these people chasing me? When I try to remember anything, my head throbs terribly…I must remember…

Starfy: Hey, maybe that was from the kid!

Mewtwo: _In all likelihood, it was. That's why you need to keep going to find him, 'cause if he gets caught by anyone else then who knows how long you'll be on this adventure._

Starfy: Good point.

(Swimming back down the cracked passageway, which promptly caves in behind him, Starfy breaks another wall of blocks much bigger than any others he's encountered on this adventure. When he reaches the end of this, Starfy then rides another strong current down to another winding passageway, follows another string of pearls, and finds…)

Starfy: This is the end of the stage?! That's it?!

(Yes, it is.)

Starfy: But—but—

(Starfy opens the iPhone to the mermaid app. The pink tab now says 'Where'd he go?' and has a pink and gold star ribbon attached to the end of it. The mermaid's speech bubble now says: 'That little mysterious cutie is super popular! Everyone is, like, totally after him!'.)

Starfy: That STILL wasn't informative.

Speech bubble: And I still have to remind you of its purpose?

Starfy: No, I'm good.

(Since the Author forgot the joke she was going to put here-)

Mewtwo: _Really, must you do that?_

(Hey, I only have the first draft of the script where she made notes on it. It says 'what joke was I thinking of again?' here, so I thought I'd mention it.)

Mewtwo: _Well, whatever._

(Anyway, Starfy, still donning his red spray paint, heroically jumps onto the stage-complete machine, completing the stage and landing on the map.)

Angelica: Hi!

Moe: Look out below!

Starfy: Hi Moe! *jumps out of the way as Moe lands where he had been standing*

Moe: Well, at least that's somewhat smart.

Starfy: Why thank you.

Mewtwo: _Take a quick break; we'll be starting back up in a little._

Starfy: What? Why?

Mewtwo: _Because. And just so you know, we'll be working on Secret 2, level 1-6._

Starfy: The secret training grounds? Cool!

Mewtwo: _Everyone eat lunch and prepare for trouble._ *vanishes*

Everyone left on the map: …

Angelica: …And make it double…?

Moe: By the way Starfy…

Starfy: Yeah?

Moe: Do you know if this stuff is washable? You have the can and all…

Angelica: Here. *snatches can* 'Permanent spray paint, hard to wear off.' Does that answer your question?

Moe: I'm doomed...

Morals learned from this chapter:

1. Never interrupt Big Squiddy's TV show.

2. Make sure that you have a spare space ship.

3. Pompous jerks fail preschool.

4. Never become obsessed with television.

5. Never grab items that others are going to grab unless you want to be knocked out by having your arms thrown against your head.

6. Moe's iPhone apps get jobs done no matter how much people don't want to do them.

7. Don't depend on iPhone apps for excuses and advice.

8. Amnesiac space rabbits are prone to freaking out easily.

9. Breaking the fourth wall is good until it becomes overused.

10. Moe and Bunston are awesome.

Good summary? It was worth a shot, anyway. Since the next level is not terribly long, expect more…after dinner…

You'll get the chapter today, no matter what! …well, unless I risk getting banned from my computer. That would be worse.

Tune in in a few hours for the next paradoxical episode of The Legendary MOE!, the side of Starfy that you weren't supposed to see but always wanted to.

And yeah, I ripped off Blooper Mario Sunshine for the style of that sentence, but I swear, I'm not going to rip it off incredibly.

Chow!


	7. Getting back off track

Starfy Parody Level 1-6

DISCLAIMER: Wow, you think that I'm awesome enough to own Starfy, or any other franchise for that matter? I'm so honored! …Unfortunately, I don't own any million-dollar franchises, so *sniffle* I don't own any of the awesome characters I love writing about! WAAAAAHHHHHH!

(Last time on The Legendary MOE!...)

Big Squiddy: WAAAAAAAAAHH!

(We watched as Starfy did various things, including saving amnesiac space rabbits by beating up the resident wildlife…)

Moe: Barbeque!

(…beat up arrogant fish from his preschool…)

Fork: You'll PAY for this!

(…was aggravated by iPhone apps…)

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

(…and rewarded by having to do more work later.)

Starfy: Why can't I get another job?

Mewtwo: What other job would that be?

Starfy: Anything but this one.

Mewtwo: You don't like being a prince?

Starfy: I love being a prince; I don't like going on these insane adventures! Who dreams these things up anyway?

**Nintendo's secret headquarters…**

Unknown Corporate boss 1: So, I've got this great idea for this new Starfy game. You'll never believe it…

**Back on the map…**

Mewtwo: I don't know.

(Suddenly, an air horn blasts.)

?: ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY! TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK!

Starfy: Just a little longer?

?: NO!

Starfy: Why?

?: *blasts air horn again* Because I said so! *blasts air horn simultaneously*

All fandoms and narrator: Ugh! Make it stop!

?: Hey! Dia! Give me that back!

? 2: No. You're torturing these poor beings for no necessary reason. At least wait until ONE of them has earplugs.

?: Come on Dia, give me the air horn back please! I need it to blast idiots with!

? 2: None of them could really be considered idiots.

?: Come on Dia, work with me please!

? 2: After the story. Get to work, you lazy author.

?: Gaaaaahh…Starfy!

Starfy: Yeeeeeeeess?

?: Get on the portal for the secret training grounds, level 1-6!

Moe: Yes, make it presently, please.

?: PRESENTLY? Did you say PRESENTLY?!

Moe: Yes. I misused it though.

?: Who cares?! Anyone who says 'presently' is officially awesome in my book!

Starfy, Angelica, and the narrator: Presently!

? 2: You all are so immature.

Mewtwo: All right, let's get this story happening already!

?: Yeah, Mewtwo's right! Let's go already!

(Starfy dashes over to the level entrance and jumps on, with Moe in hot pursuit. Angelica quickly jumps into her shell-teleporter while Mewtwo teleports off.)

*white flash*

(Starfy appears underwater in what appears to be…)

Starfy: Ugh. It's another Squiddy chase. Again.

(As per usual, the chase goes off the same as usual. Big Squiddy tries to grab Starfy; Starfy spins into Big Squiddy's tentacles making them fall on his head; Starfy collects pearls while fighting strange currents; Big Squiddy curses about the next television special coming on; Starfy owns Big Squiddy and swims through door. On the other side of the door, though, he finds that he is in yet another Squiddy chase scene.)

Starfy: Aw man! Not another one!

(Starfy frantically glances around, trying to find a way to avoid the chase. Spotting a door hidden behind some kelp, he dashes through it for a quick break.)

Starfy: Ohhhhh! Waterfall spin thing!

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

Starfy: And treasure too! Avoiding work ROCKS!

(Starfy swims into the current, riding it until he swims down onto the treasure. When he opens the chest, he finds that it contains something_ very_ interesting.)

Starfy: The 'Elite Pufftop Guard's Journal'? How'd it get down here?

?: Don't question it, don't question it…

Starfy: Well, whatever. It'll be interesting to see what goes in their crazy minds.

Pufftop was attacked nine hours ago by a group of unidentifiable enemies.

Starfy: No duh!

Prince Starfy chased after them

Moe: I HELPED!

**But it's possible they may return**,

Starfy: Why is it bolded?

Moe: Who knows?

So we will remain on high alert.

Starfy: *muttering* They better…

More as this story unfolds…

Starfy: Oh, if only they knew what a story they were literally in.

**Back at the second Squiddy chase scene**

Starfy: Well, here goes nothing…

(Once again, the chase is relatively the same until the end, when-)

Big Squiddy: OW!

(-Big Squiddy slams into the wall.)

Starfy: Haha! Loser!

Big Squiddy: GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

(Starfy goes through the door, again narrowly missing Big Squiddy's tentacles. When he comes out the other side, he sees Angelica's shell.)

Angelica: Update?

Starfy: Got chased by a squid twice and found a treasure chest with another journal entry in it.

Angelica: That's all?

Starfy: Yeah. Joy.

Angelica: Well then, bye.

(Angelica closes the shell's lid once more, leaving Starfy standing there again. He swims up the next passageway, staring at the ceiling until he runs into an Unu. Seeing a whole five of them, he starts on a streak. Once he got to the top of the passage, however…)

Starfy: They respawned? Does that mean I get another chance at a streak?

(Well, I guess so…)

Starfy: Awesome! I can get rich quick!

**Five hours later**

(You know, I really think you should move on…)

Starfy: What? Why?

(You've spent five hours doing this.)

Starfy: Whaaaaat?! Okay, I'm moving!

(Swimming back up to the top of the passage, Starfy sees twenty one things. Twenty things are large pearls, which he quickly gathers. The other one thing is…)

Starfy: The level-complete machine?! Already?!

(It's a first-stage bonus level. What did you expect?)

Starfy: I don't know, but I'm so happy! WOOHOO!

Moe: You're ripping me off!

Starfy: Oops… oh well. *jumps onto machine*

(Starfy lands back at the map.)

Angelica: Hi!

Moe: Taco time! You with me, Starf?

Starfy: Tacos? You bet!

Moe: You coming, Angie?

Angelica: No, I'm going to Dominoes. And don't call me 'Angie'.

Moe: Well, let us know if you change your mind.

(Do I get to eat with you guys?)

Moe: You already ate. We haven't; we're starving.

(I guess that's a no then…)

Moe: Don't feel too bad.

(Easy for you to say.)

Mewtwo: Let's just go eat; you're not the only ones who are hungry.

Starfy: What are you going to eat?

Mewtwo: If you don't shut up, I might consider eating starfish.

Starfy: *shivers* Why not squid?

?: Who cares? I hate eating seafood, especially with the nuclear spill in the Pacific ocean and the BP chemicals in the Atlantic.

(As the group argues about the best food choices, the end of the parody draws near. As a matter of fact, the end is as near as the next sentence. The end.)

A/N: Like I said, extremely short chapter. I tried to lengthen it a little, but I only had a limited amount of time to work on this since I had church youth group tonight and it lasted till eight. I actually write this in about half an hour; wish I could give you updates like that all the time. I hope this is good enough to tide you over to next weekend…when I have to update both of my stories…oh shoot. And I was thinking about challenging myself to do some weekly story contest? With both Starfy AND pokémon, and possibly Kirby? That's gonna have to wait a little longer…

Before you hopefully review ('cause they're always appreciated), tell me. Do you think that I SHOULD start the Starfy story contest? I'd like to have at least three other people who would participate, not including myself. I think it would be fun, and don't worry; I wouldn't let it get in the way of my parody-writing. Please review if you think you might be interested in a story contest! I've posted more details about what it might be like in my profile!

Ciao!

P.S.: The 'Prepare for trouble…make it double' thing was thrown in because I had been reading a list of variations to Team Rocket's mottos. I swear, they're all so funny. I mean seriously, 'Our food's not bad, at least not the worst…'? 'Surrender now, 'cause we're not making any more house calls…'? 'To extend my arm with a big white glove…'? **Awesomeness!** Go look up 'team rocket mottos bulbapedia' on dogpile (or whatever your search engine is) and read them! You can get a lot of inspiration from them!


	8. Fight! Fat Catfish and Big Squiddy!

World 1-4

A/N: Haha! It appears as if Moe's famous quote, WOOHOO!—

Moe: Quotations marks, please?

-"WOOHOO!" is rubbing off on reviewers! Thanks for the review, Pikachu! Since Moe is just that awesome, how about we have Moe start us off with an inspiring, logical quote today?

Moe: Kids! Remember! If you wish for the holidays to come early so you can enjoy their excitement, be sure that you take the WEATHER into account too!

…Are you referencing the fact that as soon as I said I couldn't wait for it to get cool for the holidays, the temperature dropped to 40 degrees for a few days?

Moe: Maybe.

Well whatever. Story time!

**Disclaimer**: If I owned ANY franchise, I would not likely be writing this. Then again, maybe I would, since I'm insane like that. However, I can assure you that I don't own anything…yet…

?: Chapter…um…what chapter was this again, Mewtwo?

Mewtwo: _It's_ chapter 8, _you moron._

?: Oh! Chapter 8, World…

Mewtwo: _World 1-4._

?: World 1-4! Thanks, Mewtwo.

Mewtwo: _What would you do without me?_

?: I don't know.

Mewtwo: _You'd have to ask Dialga._

?: Oh no…not her…

? 2: WHAT WAS THAT?!

?: SAVE ME MEWTWO!

Mewtwo: *snickers*

TEN MINUTES LATER

Invisible Narrator 2: Hey, is anyone hiring here for an invisible narrator?

?: Sorry, no. I've already got one.

(Are you sure you don't want to ditch me?)

?: Think of being out of a job…

(Ugh…that's a worse option…)

Starfy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

(Maybe…)

Invisible Narrator 2: Let me know if you change your mind…I've got a resume…

?: Okay, I won't. You've got competition, buddy!

(Not likely you'll accept him.)

?: Who knows? It's always an option.

(Ughh…)

Starfy: I'm getting a sunburn!

Moe: You're still spray-painted red. How could you even tell if you were sunburnt or not?

Starfy: …Good point…

Angelica: *hanging tail and arms out of her shell* So…is anybody getting a move-on here?

Starfy: Oh heck no.

Moe: Oh heck yes.

Starfy: No.

Moe: Yes.

Starfy: NO.

Moe: YES.

Starfy: NO!

Moe: YES!

?: I'm hungry.

Everyone: …

?: Seriously, I haven't eaten all day. Let's have a dinner break.

Everyone: But we haven't done anything yet!

?: Who cares? Dinnertime!

Starfy: …the world's gone insane…

Moe: *in stunned voice* No, I think it's just her.

? 2: Hey, you used that 'hungry' joke a few chapters ago!

AFTER DINNER

?: Sooooo…

Angelica: Hey, just a question, but…

?: Yeeeeeeeeessss?

Angelica: Why do you keep typing three question marks in your name when you know FFN will only display them as one question mark?

?: Because. Just because. But I'll stop after this chapter. But anyway, let's get a move on! The readers are probably wondering what happened to us because we—

Mewtwo: We?

?: I mean 'I' haven't updated in so long. So let's get going. Get on the next portal, Starfy!

(Starfy spins over to Portal 1-4)

Starfy: You sure this is the right portal? I haven't done this in about a month, so I've forgotten.

Moe: Uh, yeah…me too. Where were we?

?: Ummmmmmmm…

EIGHT HOURS LATER

Mewtwo: See, this is why she never gets anything done on her stories.

(I thought you were supposed to be writing a new chapter for the story, not reading some of the old ones…)

Mewtwo: And then of course distraction set in.

?: H-hey, I'm still getting work done on the story! Right?

Mewtwo: She's not serious, is she?

? 2: Sadly, yes, I think she is.

?: *tosses DS aside* But whatever, I DO need to get the chapters up.

Mewtwo: I bet you couldn't even write half of the chapter.

?: I bet I could! And you know what else I bet? I bet that I could write six chapters a month, not just four!

Mewtwo: That would be a miracle.

?: Oh yeah?! I'll show you a miracle, then!

? 2: That miracle would be hard to pull off, considering that you haven't even started the stage yet. What were we waiting for?

?: I think it was the schedule. I've got it; we are doing World 1-7.

Mewtwo: I love how you said 'we' in that. I'm hoping that it was just you and them, because if I'm included—

?: You are, so don't even think of anything. Now let's just GET MOVING!

Mewtwo: Oh, and it's World 1-4.

?: …thanks. Mewtwo.

Mewtwo: You're welcome. But thank you.

?: Thank you?

Mewtwo: Yes, thank you for allowing me to humiliate you. It's certainly enjoyable.

?: *ignores Mewtwo* Just get on to World 1-4 Starfy! Oh, and that pun was unintentional!

Mewtwo: There we go with the puns again…

(Starfy spins onto the portal for World 1-4. Again.)

?: Aaaaaaaaand…takeoff!

(Starfy appears in front of a small orange fish and a large cream-colored cat fish. The cream colored fish was wearing a wrestling diaper-)

?: Is it really called a diaper? I mean really, it kinda takes the offensive, scary edge off of—

(*frustrated* Well whatever it's called. Starfy walks up to the two fish to talk, but the catfish beats him to it.)

Fat Cat: Oho! It's Starfy!

Starfy: *star eyed (…'star' eyed? Oh my… how lame is that…)* It's Fat Cat! Can I have your autograph?

Fat Cat: Sure! As a matter of fact, I was about to ask you the same question!

(Each of them signs an autograph for each other.)

Fat Cat: I'm not your only big fan though. Here's my darling daughter, Kit Fish!

Kit Fish: Wow! It's Starfy! I've never met a prince! Hey, what can you do? Act like a prince! Come on! Oh this is so awesome! What are you doing here? Are you on an adventure? *fangirl squeal* Can I come with you? Are that rabbit and that clam with you? What do you—

Fat Cat: Whoa, easyyyyy Kit. Sorry, she gets excited easily.

Starfy: I don't mind. But did you happen to see a rabbit run by here?

Fat Cat: As a matter of fact I did. A few minutes afterward, a yellow clam chased after him too, if that's any help.

Starfy: It is. And the clam was my buddy Moe. But have you seen any crystal shards?

Kit Fish: You play Kirby 64?

Starfy: Kirby 64? What's that? I'm talking about this. *holds up shard*

Fat Cat: Oh yeah, I've seen something like that. I think Big Squiddy has it.

Starfy: Big Squiddy? Come on…

Fat Cat: Eh, you could probably just snatch it while he's watching TV. Or you could have fun and spend twenty seconds beating him up. You choose. But that crystal…it's strange. One moment it feels hot, the next it feels cold. I know because I heard Big Squiddy himself comment on it while he was holding it.

Starfy: What should I do after I get the shard from Big Squiddy?

Kit Fish: I know, I know! There's a wise man with a white mustache near here! You should see him!

Starfy: That sounds familiar…

Kit Fish: He's in Hotcha Springs, just on the other side of Gluglug Lagoon!

Starfy: Hot springs…lobster…wise…mustache…OLD MAN LOBBER!?

Kit Fish: Yeah, that's his name! All you have to do to get to him is beat up Big Squiddy! Be careful awesome Starfy!

Fat Cat: Now that we've helped our friend here, Kit, let's be on our way. Perhaps we'll see you later, Starfy. Farewell!

(Kit Fish and Fat Cat walk—swim—off somewhere. Starfy just walks off toward the water to find the door. He spots it along with some pearls in bubbles and a mermaid shell.)

Starfy: Already? Seriously?

Angelica: *from inside the shell* Yup.

Starfy: Aren't you supposed to open the thing?

Angelica: I don't have to if I don't want to. And I suppose that we still have to keep this thing T rated, 'cause I'm still getting dressed here.

Starfy: …

Angelica: Just giving you the plain truth. Now start yapping.

Starfy: I talked to Fat Cat and Kit Fish about where I should go. Oh, and I collected a few pearls too.

Angelica: Anything else?

Starfy: Nope.

Angelica: Then good luck.

(Starfy swims through the door into another Squiddy chase.)

Big Squiddy: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO COME WHEN MY AWESOME TV SHOW IS ON?!

Starfy: I don't know. Maybe I was fated to.

ONE FAIRLY AVERAGE SQUIDDY CHASE LATER

(Starfy goes through the door to find two strange things. The first is that there's another purple shell behind Globerto, who happened to be standing there for convenience. The second was-)

iPhone Moe: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

(-you can probably tell on your own.)

Starfy: I need earplugs. Badly.

?: You're standing there for CONVENIENCE, Globerto? Where were you on my vacation?!

(After yelling hello to Angelica again, Starfy swam up a passageway looking for treasure. Luckily, he didn't forget the 'treasure hidden in the ceiling' trick that the programmers overused and the Authoress is too lazy to change-)

?: What did I say about commenting on me?

(To only do it when it was fitting? Which it is…?)

?: …You know, I'm not even going to bother…

(Well whatever. He swam up and got the treasure chest so he could move on.)

You got a **Guard Uniform**! Go to the Stuff screen to try it on.

Starfy: An easy way out of punishments! Yeeeesss! They'll never recognize me!

(Starfy swims down and up another corridor, taking out some of the resident wildlife.)

Starfy: Why are they called Swerls? They don't even look swirly…

?: What the game designer says is official, so don't ask me. Personally, I think that their helmet should've cracked by now from all the slamming into the ground they've done with it.

Starfy: …good point.

(As Starfy comes out the next door, Moe dashes up behind him.)

Starfy: Moe? I thought you went ahead of me!

Moe: I hung back so I could hold up with the video game.

Starfy: Oh. Good point.

?: Starfy…

Starfy: Yes?

?: Be careful that you don't repeat 'good point' too many times…

Starfy: *sigh* Fiiine…

(Up ahead, Starfy and Moe see…)

? 3: You bad guys again?! Get away or I'll have to—

Moe: How many times do I have to tell you that we're not bad guys?! Sheesh! I have enough trouble without this confusion! We just wanted to give you the crystal you keep dropping. But you don't have to worry about bad guys, 'cause Starfy 'n I beat up bad guys as a second job.

? 3: Starfy? Who—

Starfy: *Starfy squeal noise*

? 3: Huh?!

Moe: This here is Starfy! And I'm his legendary, handsomely shelled best friend, Moe!

?: Moe, you weren't supposed to directly copy your dialogue from the game…

Moe: Oh, and this is the Authoress. She's in charge of this currently-insane project.

?: Bunston you're so awesome! And so is Moe! Can I have your autograph? Can you ask Nintendo if I can have you? Can you live with me? Can I—OW! MEWTWO!

Mewtwo: _Shut it._

Moe: And Mewtwo and whoever the time dragon who's not saying anything right now are our saving grace from her. But since she sounds like she's your fangirl, maybe you can help too. But now that introductions are out of the way, are you okay? We're worried about ya.

? 3: Hm. Yes, I think I'm okay. If you aren't bad guys, you're certainly persistent guys…

?: Bunston you're so creative with that! Did I tell you I liked your speech pattern? How about—

Mewtwo: *grabs* I think that's quite enough.

? 2: We need to have a little meeting. We'll be right back, you guys.

Starfy: …Saved…

Moe: But anyway, persistence is our specialty! Well, we have other things that are our specialty too…

Starfy: Like Super Mario Sunshine?

Moe: Yeah, like that. Also homemade nachos and other stuff like that.

? 3: Hey cool! That sounds awesome! You'll have to show me sometime.

Moe: Don't worry, we will. So what's going on? I mean, start at the beginning. What's your name? Tell us.

Bunston: My name? It's…it's Bunston.

Starfy: Oh yeah! That crazy Author did say something about 'Bunston'. That must've been you, right?

Bunston: Yes…

Moe: I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but continue.

Bunston: I don't know where I came from. My mind is totally blank. Whenever I try to remember, my head starts hurting…When I saw that shard, I remembered my name, and some of my memory came back. I don't know why. All I know is that there were some guys chasing me and that I was protecting something important. Other than that…

Moe: Nothing?

Bunston: Right.

Moe: Well then, I can't really blame you for being paranoid.

Bunston: I don't know what to do now…

Starfy: You could come with us. It sounds like our plan is already mapped out to search for crystal shards.

Moe: Kirby 64?

Starfy: Why do people keep saying that?

Moe: Kirby 64 required searching for crystal shards.

Starfy: Oh.

Bunston: You don't have to take me. I shouldn't weigh you down with my problems; it wouldn't be right.

Moe: That's okay! We're glad to help! And besides, we don't have anything better to do anyway…

Starfy: Nope!

Moe: Maybe you could help with some more magical transformations! Can you still do those?

Bunston: Yes I can! I can transform Starfy again using my Monstar power! I could help you that way! *turns around* We could use Monstar's fire breath to burn through these weeds, for starters. Ready to team up, Starfy?

Starfy: Yup!

Bunston: Great! Here…

(A thought bubble appears over Bunston's head with Monstar's picture in it.)

Bunston: *looks up* That seems kinda weird…How can you see someone's thoughts?

Starfy: Let's not question. Let's just _not_ question it…

(Starfy touches the though bubble and the two transform into Monstar.)

Starfy: Hey, awesome! It worked!

Moe: I'll be right behind you in just a little bit…

(After burning through a few weeds and scaring off some crabs, the two arrived at the door. When they arrived on the other side, they found that the transformation had ended.)

Starfy: Lemme just save in that puddle…

(Starfy swims down to the—er, Angelica's—shell and yells what happened to her. He gets no response, so he continues on to the next door right across the puddle. Bunston and he transform into Monstar again to climb up a slope without getting hit by enemies. When they arrive on the other side, Bunston turns to Starfy.)

Bunston: Hey Starfy, this is all really crazy and I'm still somewhat confused, but thanks for helping me so far. I'd like to give you this to help you.

**Bunston's Collection** has been added to the touch screen!

Bunston: I don't know how I got that app, but I had it, so I figured I'd give it to you since I saw that you had an iPhone.

Starfy: Thanks Bunston!

Bunston: No prob. Let's keep going with this craziness. Oh, and Moe said that 'Collection' was one of the tabs in his suitcase. What is his suitcase?

Starfy: I'll explain to you later. How's the app work?

Bunston: Well, up in the top left corner, there are three heart-shaped openings. I think that they're for something called heart gems, and that the more you collect, the better off you are. The shape underneath it must be for the shards, 'cause there's a picture of one in it. The four panels in the top right corner must be for our transformations, and I guess that I'm there because I made it.

Starfy: Or because that crazy Author put you in there.

Bunston: Perhaps.

(Starfy climbs up some floating platforms onto a ledge, only to find more floating platforms.)

Starfy: I wanna get up to that ledge with all the big pearls on it! How do I do that?!

(Get a running start?)

Starfy: *tries it* Oh, it worked! Thank you!

(Starfy grabs the big pearls; then jumps down off into the water. He sinks down to the bottom, then finds that he's in another series of tunnels. After gathering some pearls, he sees a door hidden in some kelp. He goes through the door and finds that he's in a room with a strange circle above it that says 'Y' and has an arrow above it.)

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

(Oh, and Moe's iPhone app starts going off, too.)

Starfy: Whoa whoa whoa, I thought I switched Bunston's on?

(The Authoress left me a note telling me that Moe's Treasure Detector will automatically switch to the first app until you've collected all the treasure.)

Starfy: Uggghhhh…whatever. What's up above me?

?: *gasping for breath* It's…a Y slingshot…

(Is that its official name?)

?: Who…cares…but if…you spin into it…you'll shoot…in the direction…it's pointing…there aren't any…tutorials for it…even officially…so don't…even…ask…

Starfy: How the heck did you even get here…?

?: I ran. Hard. With any luck…they won't find me…

(Yeah. Right.)

?: Whatever…let's get on with this…owwwwww…

(Starfy swims into the slingshot. As soon as he slips into it, the outline turns into a star. Starfy spins, and he rockets off into another one. He spins into three other ones, and then lands on a treasure chest.)

You got a **Calling All Challengers pamphlet**!

Starfy: Hmmmmm…

Come one, come all! If you dare challenge a sumo master who laughs in the face of Big Squiddy, come see me!

The Legendary Wrestler,

Fat Cat

~Pamphlet created by Kit Fish~

?: Now we know who's…REALLY behind…Fat Cat's team…

**Back at the door**

(Starfy swims back up the passage and onto the beach. From there, he swims down another winding passageway and goes through another door. On the other side…)

iPhone: SECRET! SECRET! SECRET!

(…Moe's iPhone app goes off.)

Starfy: Wonder who's going to bug me now…

(Starfy tries finding a secret passageway in the ceiling, but all he finds are seven little pearls.)

Starfy: RIPOFF! That's cheap!

?: Get used to it. The game designers have to do that in some way at least 5% of the 'secret, cracked passages'.

Starfy: Is that an exact number?

?: No. I just guessed.

Starfy: …

(Starfy swims back down the passageway and out into the open where he was supposed to go. Since he failed to notice that _a bunch of cracked blocks were on the bottom of the floor_, he swam past them and instead saw a strong current.)

Starfy: What's back there?

?: The secret mission.

Starfy: Easy! I'll just swim against it. How tough can it be?

ONE HOUR LATER

?: Ugh…STARFY!

Starfy: *gasping* What?

?: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIND THE SECRET PASSAGE THAT LEADS TO IT, NOT SWIM AGAINST A CURRENT THAT YOU CAN'T SWIM AGAINST ANYWAY!

Starfy: …Oh.

(Starfy swims up the passageway marked by the arrows. Although he thoroughly investigates them, he sees no secret passageway. He swims further down, but only sees the door to the next area off in the distance. Starfy also spots Globerto and the mermaid's shell a few yards in front of it. He decides to ask one of them for help.)

Starfy: Hello?! Angie!?

(Angelica angrily opens the lid to her shell—this time she's wearing a green T-shirt that says 'DisneyWorld 2012' on it with Pluto, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy posing with the numbers. She's also wearing an orange skirt.)

Starfy: Where'd you get that outfit?

Angelica: The author. And DON'T call me Angie.

Starfy: Okay…_Angie_…

(Angelica punches Starfy into some nearby kelp with surprisingly more force than I expected.)

Angelica: Not all girls are weak…especially me…

Starfy: Owww…okay, okay, no nicknames. That's no fun.

Angelica: Well? Start talking already.

Starfy: Actually, do you happen to know where the passage to the secret level is?

Angelica: Yes.

Starfy: Really? Tell me!

Angelica: Sorry, I can't. But I can tell you to go back and investigate the bottom of the passageway.

Starfy: The floor?

Angelica: Yes, the floor. Come back to me then.

(Angelica closes the lid of her shell and Starfy swims back to the door.)

Starfy: I'll find it, or my name isn't Starfy!

THREE HOURS LATER

Starfy: Don't worry…I'll find it…or my name…isn't…Starfy…

(Starfy starts beating on the floor and pulling up kelp. When he pulled up one stalk, he got dirt in his eyes. When he pulled up another one, he pulled too hard and fell onto his back. When he pulled up a third stalk, he didn't grab it right and cut himself on the kelp. His eyes water.)

Starfy: OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW! I WANT MOOOOOOOEE!

?: Ugh, this is taking way too long already, Starfy. Swim along the passageway until you see some cracked blocks. Break them, and then swim along the passageway.

(Starfy does what the amazing Authoress-)

?: Don't butter me up, Narrator.

(-I said, Starfy does what the Authoress-)

?: Although I could do with a little appreciation around here…

(-Starfy does what the amazing-)

?: Then again, what would the readers think?

(…Starfy does what the-)

?: Nah, I like 'amazing Authoress' better. Continue on, Narrator.

(…Starfy does what the amazing Authoress says and finds that everything was exactly as she said it would be. Upon finding the door, he sees that it is closed and miscolored.)

Starfy: …What the?

(He beats on the door and tries to pull it open, but fails. However…)

Starfy: However what?

(Uh…Authoress?)

?: Hnuh?

(The…uh…)

?: OH SHOOT! How could I forget?!

(I'm not going to answer that…)

?: COME HERE, FIDO!

(A Goblup with a key inside of him swims over to Starfy.)

Starfy: It's Mister Goblup! *hugs*

(The Goblup squeals and coughs up the key and everything else inside of him…)

Starfy: Ugh! Hey, what's all this stuff? *picks up stuff* A hello Kitty clock? An orange hacky sack? A candle? A pompom spider? A huge purple pillow that's ten times bigger than me?

(The huge purple pillow falls on Starfy.)

Starfy: *voice is muffled* HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

?: Bad Fido! Stop eating my stuff!

(The Goblup swims away whining.)

?: I was wondering where that all went… *picks up stuff*

Starfy: MMMMMMMMMMMMM!

?: Oh. Sorry Starf. *takes pillow*

Starfy: *gasps for breath* THANK GOD! I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER ESCAPE THE EVIL—

?: EVIL?! IT'S MY PURPLE PILLOW, FOR – OWWWWWWWW! OH SH-

? 2: Ha! You thought you could escape? You are wrong, pitiful author! I—

?: Whoa whoa whoa, calm down Dia! I wasn't obsessing over Bunston this time! You can ask Starfy!

? 2: Ugh…Starfy?

Starfy: *shivering* The pillow…it's evil…

?: See? I wasn't obsessing over Bunston at all!

? 2: …I'm watching you…

?: Whatever. STARFY! *blasts airhorn*

(Starfy is snapped out of his stupor and jumps up.)

Starfy: Ow! My ears…

?: Do starfish even have—OW!—uh, I mean, get on with the secret level already!

Starfy: …Okay…

(Starfy swims through the now-unlocked secret door. When he arrives on the other side, an orange blur tackles him over.)

Kit Fish: STTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR RFYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Starfy: Whoa!

Fat Cat: Whoa Kit, control yourself. *looks at Starfy* Why, hello again, Starfy. This is where I practice wrestling. Care to join me for a match?

Starfy: Wrestle you? Sure, it's always been my dream!

Fat Cat: If you can beat me, I'll give you a map to a secret area!

Starfy: Cool! Let's go!

(Starfy and Fat Cat start trying to push each other over the other's flag. Neither of them is getting anywhere fast, despite this being a first-level bonus mission. Kit Fish is watching them both, eating cheesy, warm, buttered popcorn all the while.)

?: KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIT! CAN I HAVE SOME POPCORN?!

Kit Fish: Uh, I guess so! *holds up container*

?: Yes! I finally get some popcorn, just like I put on my profile at this time! –OW! DIA!

? 2: You can't eat popcorn; you've got braces!

?: COME ON, DIA! I HAVEN'T HAD ANY POPCORN IN YEARS! CAN'T YOU TAKE PITY ON ME?!

? 2: No. Imagine what it'll do to your teeth!

?: YOU'RE NOT MY MOM! COME ON, LET ME HAVE SOME!

FOUR HOURS LATER

?: GIMME!

? 2: NO!

?: GIMME!

? 2: NO!

Fat Cat: I've…almost…got…you…

Starfy: No…I'm…getting…_you_…

Kit Fish: …

(Looks like neither the wrestlers or the writer is going anywhere fast.)

Kit Fish: Uh, guys?

(The Authoress, Dialga, Starfy, and Fat Cat all look at Kit Fish.)

?: You're looking too, buddy.

(I'm reading it, so it doesn't count.)

Fat Cat: What is it, Kit?

Kit Fish: I'm out of popcorn.

?: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

? 2: HA! YOU LOSE!

Starfy: Well, whatever. *starts pushing Fat Cat* I'm gonna win!

Fat Cat: Not so fast! *starts pushing Starfy*

(Fifteen minutes later, Starfy slips while he's pushing and does a Star Spin. The impact of the Star Spin against Fat Cat's somewhat fat belly causes Fat Cat to rocket behind his flag.)

Fat Cat: Man! I never thought about that! I guess you won, Starfy, fair and square! Here's the map!

**Area Secret 3 has been added to your map!**

Kit Fish: Bye Starfy, good luck! Come visit us sometime!

**Back at the boss door**

Starfy: Hey, why does the door have a skull and crossbones over it?

?: Because it's a boss level.

Starfy: Aw, come one, Kit and Fat said that I could just grab the crystal while he was watching TV!

?: Too bad, Starfy. The game says so, so go through the door already.

(Starfy goes through the door. When he comes out on the other side, he sees Moe and Bunston. Before he can take even a step towards them, though, a flash of light appears in front of and someone veeeeeeery familiar-)

Starly: Well I should be familiar, Mister Invisible! I've appeared in every other Starfy game so far!

(Authoress?)

Starly: Authoress? Huh?

?: I don't know—oh yeah, I remember, she has, Narrator.

Starfy: It's a long story, sis. Literally.

Bunston: This is your sister, Starfy?

Starly: *turns to face Bunston* Hello, little fluffy bunny! *hugs* You're so cute! Who are you?

Bunston: My name is Bunston…but…I don't know anything else about my past…

Moe: He lost his memory and we're helping him get it back.

Starly: Oh! That's sweet! I was expecting you to be making some sort of trouble equal to a nuclear reactor, to tell the truth.

Starfy: *innocently* Why's that sis?

Starly: Perhaps because the castle looks like a dilapidated mansion that you see in horror movies, just not with all the cobwebs and not nearly as old.

Starfy: …That bad?

Starly: Yup. That bad.

Starfy: Are Mom and Dad okay?

Starly: Yup, they're fine! They actually went on a vacation as soon as they found out, so they're not even there. I'm monitoring everything while they're gone. I swear, those guards are lazier than you would expect. After all the training I give them—

Starfy: Starly?

Starly: Huh? Don't interrupt me!

Starfy: I kinda need to fight Big Squiddy…

Starly: Oh. Need any help?

Starfy: No. Big Squiddy is so utterly dumb that even complete idiots can beat him—

Moe: Unless, of course, you are a local.

Starfy: And we're not locals. So I don't need any help.

Starly: Oh. Well if you need help, just get Moe to call me. He still has that star-rock that he had from…how long ago did I give you that, Moe?

Moe: I have no idea.

Starly: Well, it still works, apparently. Normally I'd trek along to make sure you _guys_ got Bunston's memories back, but the idiots up at home probably wouldn't be able to find their way to the kitchen without me. Good luck, everyone!

(With this, Starly vanishes into the light.)

Starfy: Oh great. Thank goodness she didn't stay around…I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

Angelica: Well, it would've been amusing to watch, to say the least.

Starfy: Angelica? Where are you?

Angelica: Above you.

Starfy: *looks up and sees Angelica's shell sitting on a ledge above him* Oh. I'm here. Anything else I need to tell you?

Angelica: Nope.

(Angelica closes the lid to her shell. Starfy looks over to Moe, Bunston, and the dark fog behind them.)

Starfy: What's behind you?

?: It's a mysterious purple fog that prevents Bunston from using his transforming powers. There will be one at every boss for reasons unknown.

Starfy, Moe, and Bunston: You're kidding, right?

?: Sadly, no. Too bad, I wanted to see—

? 2: Author…

?: Er, why don't you get on with the boss, Starfy?

Starfy: Okayyyyy…

Moe: We'll meet you after you finish…

(Starfy swims through the fog, fully prepared for a fight-to-the-death kind of battle. Instead, he sees Big Squiddy sitting in front of his television.)

Big Squiddy: VIVA PIÑATA, FILLED WITH FUN! FILLED WITH FUN! VIVA PIÑATA—COME AND ENJOY THE FUN! VIVA PIÑATA, FILLED WITH FUN—

Starfy: Hello? Big Squiddy?

Big Squiddy: WHAT?! YOU!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INTERRUPT ME NOW?! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS WEEK I WAS GETTING TO WATCH VIVA PIÑATA! DO YOU REALIZE THAT?!

Starfy: No, but I—

Big Squiddy: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!

Starfy: I need to beat you to get the crystal and pass through here.

Big Squiddy: JUST TAKE IT AND GO! I JUST WANNA WATCH TV!

?: Whooooooooooa, hold on here. It'll only take you twenty seconds to battle Star-boy here. And besides, the rule of parodies states that I can't skip bosses like this without at least a twenty-second battle. Cue the battle bell!

(A bell sounds, and Starfy beats up Big Squiddy's tentacles without a problem, making him drop the crystal—onto Starfy's head.)

Starfy: OW!

Big Squiddy: OW!

?: See? That wasn't painful at all! That wasn't that bad!

Starfy and Big Squiddy: *glare*

(Starfy suddenly teleports to a dock with Moe and Bunston.)

?: Awww…he didn't get to do his victory dance in the girly rainbow stage…

? 2: That's because you wasted too much time and we still have a cutscene to watch.

Starfy: Whatever. I got the shard, Bunston.

(With a flash, the shard flies out of Starfy's hands and over to the shard Bunston is holding.)

Starfy: Hey cool, it's magic!

Moe: C'mon, let's keep going! If we can make it to Hotcha Springs before dark, we can try out that new restaurant over there while we're at it!

Bunston: Sweet! I'd be happy to get anything to eat, at this point.

_Determined to help Bunston find his lost memories—and to try that new restaurant—Starfy, Moe and Bunston set off to Hotcha Springs in search of Old Man Lobber. –_

?: Whoa whoa whoa, noooooooot so fast.

Starfy: What—hey!

(Suddenly, the screen flashes white, and the chapter is suddenly and inconveniently ended.)

Starfy: No fair!

Moe: Come on, seriously?!

?: And suddenly, the Author ignored the fandoms and ended the chapter anyway. The end.

? 2: That ending was lame, you know.

?: Yeah, but I can't have it get too long.

? 2: That's no excuse.

?: I guess I do need a better one. But seriously, if I transitioned to updating Moe's case in there, than who knows how long it would've gone on. I've already filled what, twenty pages already?

? 2: About nineteen, but who cares.

?: So sorry readers, but this chapter will be split for your convenience. Now all I need to do is figure out the names for the chapter titles…Oh, the later, longer chapters…what'll I do?


	9. The Bigger Big Picture

A/N: I thought I would have this chapter up in a matter of a night…I'm so delusional. But whatever. Here it is.

NOTE: Due to Verizon's incompetence, we had lost internet until today. That is why it took longer for you to get the chapter.

Disclaimer: I—

Starfy: Hey! Who's 'Disclaimer'?

?: No no no don't say—

Disclaimer: Ha! Saying 'Who's Disclaimer?' makes me alive for the story I'm in! HAHAHAHA—

?: Die. Painfully. I don't own anything.

Disclaimer: Including me! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!

(Suddenly, Starfy, Moe, and Bunston are thrown onto a larger, more diverse base map than Gluglug Lagoon's map.)

Starfy: Hm?

Bunston: Where are we?

Moe: *wearing headphones* I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it…

Starfy: Uh, Moe?

Moe: We like to—MOVE IT!

(Moe starts dancing all over the world map onto 'uncharted' areas.)

Starfy: Hey! Why can't we do that?!

Bunston: Yeah, we're stuck standing on this tile!

?: This is the world map! You're here for easier transportation to worlds!

Starfy: But there are no other worlds open…

?: That's because I sealed them until you did the secret level back in Gluglug Lagoon. Once you finish the level, you'll be able to go to Hotcha Springs. By the way, the controls on this map are the same as the ones on the basic maps. So are the treasure panels.

(The treasure panel for Gluglug Lagoon says Stage 1 Chests: '2 left'.)

?: Now, get back to Gluglug Lagoon.

Bunston: Well, I guess you could show me some of the restaurants…

Starfy: I'm still unconvinced.

?: Oh please, Starfy. You know that Moe and Bunston are right.

Starfy: …Moe didn't say anything…

?: Yes he did. He said 'I like to move it, move it'. And he does.

Moe: Us like to move it, move it…

?: See? He's right again! You like to move it, move it too, Starfy.

Starfy: …

?: But whatever! The sooner you get that out of the way, the sooner you'll never have to go back there if you don't want to! So get moving on to stage 1-4!

Mewtwo: _You mean stage 1-7._

?: Er, stage 1-7.

Starfy: Hey wait just a minute! Where did you come from, Mewtwo?!

Mewtwo: _A whole day has actually passed since the last chapter ended. It just seems like a few seconds 'cause the Author got our buddy here to stop time in this area until we could regroup._

? 2: *grins*What would you do without me?

?: *ignores* But whatever! We don't need to go into all the specifics! After all, you still have to update Moe's Case before you do that!

Starfy: Ugh…are you kidding me?!

?: Nope!

Starfy: Whatever. Moe!

Moe: *appears beside Starfy* Yes?

Starfy: How'd you do that?!

Moe: My magical powers.

? 2: What did I say about giving magical powers to fandoms?!

?: Typically, you could apply the same to yoursel—hey! Okay! I get it! But he can only use them when him using them would be funniest to the story! Like right there!

Mewtwo: _I do believe you need to move on with the story._

?: Seriously? I couldn't tell that already—

Mewtwo: _The story has enough sarcasm already; let's just keep going._

Moe: Alright, heeeeeeeeeeeere's the case! *opens case, which automatically enlarges*

Starfy: Hey cool, I want a suitcase with a stage on it!

Moe: Well too bad. I got it custom-built for my talk shows when I first started them.

Starfy: Awwwwww…

A new section has been opened in Moe's Case—Bunston's Collection!

(There's a tab in the top right corner that has a shard in it that says 'Collection'. A 'New!' tab it flashing on top of it.)

Starfy and Bunston: What's that?

Moe: Touch it and you'll see.

(Starfy touches the 'Collection' tab. The screen changes and plays a different theme. Now, Bunston's transformation powers and the heart tab counter are on the top of a screen. The shards are centered in a blue swirl. Bunston is also shown behind a screen. The screen says:

The 2nd Shard

This shard was inside a huge squid! The adventure is just starting…)

Starfy: Wait…it wasn't _inside_ of him! He dropped it on me!

?: *facepalm* We are experiencing technical difficulties…

Starfy: Well whatever. Lemme show you around the case, Bunston.

Moe: I'll hang with you. Of course, we still need a snack. *whispers* _Pizza, anyone?_

Starfy: *in whisper* _Great idea, Moe! You're the best. Don't tell anyone I said that._

Moe: Hey Author?

?: Yes, oh awesome Moe?

Moe: Can we have some pizza? Pleeeeeeeeeeease?

Bunston: Pleeeeeeeeease?

?: *gasp* Pizza? I LOVE pizza! Pizza pizza! *vanishes*

Mewtwo: _Whoa, not so fast! Get back here!_ *vanishes*

? 2: The things I do… *vanishes*

Moe: *turns to Starfy* While you're waiting, why not get to work and write those journal entries?

Starfy: Why?

Moe: Because if you don't, you'll be forced to. Painfully.

Starfy: Okay, just lemme—

(Hey, hold on. The Author said she was going to change the style of the way you write the journal entries. Now she'll give you the flavor text that was originally in the journal from the real game to write from. Here.)

Starfy: *sees papers drop in front of him* Thanks. Where's the first one?

Bunston: *picks up paper* This one says 'No. 2'. Is that it?

Starfy: Yes! Thanks.

Herman's pet fish were swallowed by a Goblup! Starfy has to use his famous Star Spin to rescue them.

Starfy: Those things are evil!

Moe: Speaking of pets, I have to feed mine. Want to meet Bushy and Baby, Bunston?

Bunston: What are they?

Moe: My pets. One's a Coddie; the other's a Seawee.

Bunston: Okay! I'll be back later, Starfy!

(Starfy watches them until they're busy, then starts writing his comments on the paper.)

I wouldn't exactly call saving evil fish 'rescuing', but I guess that's what it was—if you count that I got tortured by a psycho helmet to get them. And did I mention that Moe's Diary is apparently considered a treasure? And so is some beachwear! How crazy is that?! And did I mention the bonus level—

(Bonus levels are written about separately…)

-oh. Then did I mention that Moe got a Seawee pet AND a Coddie pet? They're both evil species! Maybe these two won't cause much trouble. That's about all.

Starfy: Do I write about the bonus entries now?

(No, you do those once you finish writing the Main Story entries so that the Author won't get on your nerves.)

Starfy: Oh. Okay.

(Here's your text:

Starfy found the strange visitor from the sky! With his mysterious power, Bunston transformed Starfy into a fire-breathing Monstar!)

Starfy: We didn't even know his name was Bunston then! Get real, game.

(Don't complain to me about it.)

Starfy: Well whatever.

The above description was pretty accurate, except there were a lot more Squiddy chases than it mentioned, and that Big Squiddy is obsessed with television. Oh, and that Bunston ran off and we had to chase him.

(Ready for your last one?)

Starfy: Yup.

(Then here it is:

The giant squid carried a shard into the creepy depths of the ocean. Starfy is now in pursuit…)

We also ran into Fat Cat and Kit fish, a star and his daughter, convinced Bunston to join our group, found some more treasure, used the Monstar power to do some non-green weeding, talked to my sister—whose ego is still as big as it always is—and I was forced to fight Big Squiddy the big BABY for a shard. If he was BIG Squiddy, though, then where were all his LITTLE Squiddies? Whatever; like I care.

Starfy: *looks up* Is that all?

(No, you still have the bonus levels.)

Starfy: Oh.

(Search for the red pearls! Herman needs them to buy food for his Coddies!)

Starfy: This'll be easy.

Though his door was kind of a pain to find, I helped him. He wasn't very helpful, though. All he gave me for helping me was another level map. Whatever. I hope I don't have to run into him again.

(Number 2: Race with Fork:

Fork looks like he's one fast swimmer, but Herman needs you to take his place and beat this speedster in a race!)

That idiot couldn't swim fast if his life depended on it. His door was just a LITTLE tricky to find. Maybe. And Herman still took advantage of me being there. I really hope that I get to torture him again after everything he did to me in preschool…

(The Masked Catfish: -)

Starfy: He wasn't masked…

(Oh who cares. The Masked Catfish:

Fat Cat is one beefy fish! Use your Star Spin to push the big fella back. Who will win?)

I won, and I wish I had known about spinning instead of trying to push him for three hours. Oh well. At least the Author was tortured because of Kit's popcorn. Wish I had had some. And he wasn't 'Masked'. The amount of time it took to get to this door was unreal.

(That's 'cause you were an idiot…)

Starfy: Shut up. At least the journal's done. Now I can relax-

Moe: *shouts from a distance* Look at the stuff screen until we're done!

Starfy: …okay…

(Starfy touches the 'Stuff' tab and appears on a blue background with cheap music playing in the background.)

Starfy: The music here is terrible, you know.

(Hey, it's not like I have anything to do with it.)

Starfy: Whatever. What do I do here anyway?

(From what I can gather, you're supposed to dress up with the clothes in here.)

Starfy: Uhhh…okay…*shivers* It's still evil, though…

(Starfy picks up a laptop on top of the 'Stuff' case. There are five tabs: Clothes, Extras, Specials, Bunston, and Help.)

Starfy: I NEED HEEEEEEELP!

(Starfy touched the Help tab. Here's what it said:

A Ok

B Back

X Remove

Y Free View

D-Pad Scroll

Select Change Character)

Starfy: Uh… *looks at buttons on side of laptop* okay, I guess…

(Starfy scrolled back to the Clothes tab.)

Starfy: According to the help section, pressing the A button should give me this Beachwear, right? Right! Let's do it!

(Starfy presses the button, and a blue star bikini falls on top of his head.)

Starfy: Hey! I'm NOT wearing this!

(Moe suddenly appears next to Starfy…again…)

Moe: With my magical powers!

(It said you were supposed to say 'Secret Power'…)

Moe: I don't care about pokémon references right now. There's an outfit for you and an outfit for Starly in each chest. That's why there's a Change Character button.

Starfy: But Starly's not even going ON this adventure! I am!

Moe: Who cares? That's what the game designers planned, so you have to go along with it.

Starfy: You've gotta be—

Moe: It works the same for the Extras. If you wear the right clothes with the right extra; then you'll get a special scene that includes bonus stuff. Once you've finished with that, I'll explain the Bunston tab.

(Moe vanishes again.)

Starfy: Well, I might as well get this over with…

(Starfy presses the SELECT button on the computer. Suddenly, the bikini is gone, and he is wearing a brown vest, a star necklace, and a blue pair of shorts with stars on them.)

Starfy: Come on, why couldn't I have sharks on it instead?

(Maybe because stars are your symbol?)

Starfy: …that's so unfair…

(Perhaps you should look at the Extras tab next.)

Starfy: Huh? Oh yeah…

(Starfy looks at the Extras tab. The only thing he sees is-)

Starfy: The sunglasses!

(-so he puts those on.)

You've discovered a Special!

A Special has been added.

(Starfy is wearing a pair of brown, retro sunglasses-)

Starfy: Hey, what was that about a Special?

(Starfy flips to the Specials tab. There is now an entry that says 'Beach Vacation'. Starfy taps it.)

Starfy: Ahhhhhhhhh…this is awesome…

(Starfy is now lounging on a white lounge chair with an umbrella over him. There's a table next to him with some sunscreen and a two liter bottle of soda.)

Starfy: You know, I could get used to this…

Moe: STARFY!

Starfy: AAAAAAAAHHH!

(Starfy jumps into the air; then turns around and sees-)

Starfy: Moe! You startled me.

Moe: HA! YES!

Starfy: …a little bit, I meant to say…

Moe: Whatever. I'm here to explain the Bunston tab.

Starfy: Awwww, but I wanna drink that soda…

Moe: It'll be refilled every time you go back to that scene. Right now, I've gotta explain the 'Bunston' tab to you. C'mere Bunston.

Bunston: Okay. What do I do?

Moe: You and Starfy can transform here, too! Neat, eh?

(Starfy and Bunston transform into Monstar.)

Starfy: Hey cool!

Moe: And you can un-transform by pressing the X button.

(Monstar taps the X button, and Starfy and Bunston un-transform.)

Starfy: Whatever. Let's get the soda already.

?: Not so fast! Pizza comes first!

Starfy: Pizza? Where—

Moe: *…slaps…?* Sh! We asked for pizza, remember?

Bunston: Pizza? Awesome! Let's eat that with the soda!

?: …works for me…

AFTER PIZZA

?: Well, back to business, I suppose.

Moe: Yeah, now—

?: *tries to touch one of the '?' tabs* Lemme just—

Moe: Hey, you deleted your account. You gotta wait till we finish the parody before you can go back delving into the S—I mean, that currently unknown icon, _remember?_

?: Gr, fine.

Moe: You made the rule…

?: That's what's so annoying…

Moe: Whatever. The only thing left to do is…

Starfy: What?

Bunston: What is it?

Moe: *dramatic pause* It's…The Moe Show!

Starfy: WHAT?!

Moe: Yes, you heard me right! Cue gadgetry!

To be continued…

A/N: Sorry readers, I just figured that it would be more convenient to do the Moe Show—

Moe: The 'the' wasn't capitalized…

Er, The Moe Show—

Moe: Italics, please?

I SAID _The Moe Show-_

Moe: Thank you.

…will be continued in the next chapter. There will always be an end-of world Moe Show chappie from now on, so prepare for it! It'll be insane!

Since I don't know how often I'll be posting, I suggest you put the 'Follow' feature for stories to good use. If you're an anonymous reader…well…um…you're kinda screwed…whoops…

Review now, or review later! Just REVIEW! Oh, and special note! This story has just passed the hundred-page mark, so reviews for reaching the big 100 please! …not like it was hard, using script format.

Small, ironic pun: You know how Moe was singing 'I like to move it, move it' in the beginning? I wrote that idea down almost a year ago, and yet I'm posting this the day after I watched Madagascar 3. How appropriate.


	10. Lights, Camera, MOE's Show!

Special Chapter –Moe's Show

A/N: And I'm back! It's amazing what you can do when you're without internet! But whatever. Let's go on. And I don't own anything.

Moe: WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Suddenly, the suitcase is transformed into a stage, complete with curtains, cameras, lights, computers, fancy chairs, fancy carpeting, you name it.)

Bunston: Woooooow!

Starfy: How'd you DO that?!

Moe: Magical powers.

?: Moe…for my sake, PLEASE cut back on the amount of times you say that.

Moe: What? Magical powers?

? 2: WHAT magical powers?!

?: Shoot!

Moe: I guess so…

(The Author and her critiquing buddies start arguing. After ten or fifteen minutes, Moe has had enough.)

Moe: QUIEEEEEET!

(Everyone is silent.)

Moe: The readers may like listening to you all argue, but it's time for my show! I have a strict time limit on filming, you know?

?: Sorry Moe…

? 2: Yeah, you _should_ apologize to Moe! After all—

Mewtwo: _Both of you, shut it._

? 2: You're one to talk to me like that, you genetic freak!

?: HOW CAN YOU INSULT MEWTWO, DIA! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FANGIRLS HE HAS?!

Mewtwo: _I can solve this problem very quickly and easily._

? and ? 2: What—!

Mewtwo: _Introducing Hyper Tape, the most effective tape on the alternate-reality market. It works well. I'm actually surprised, considering that you unofficially made it, Author. And I would've expected a time-controlling steel dragon to be able to break out of it. Oh yeah—your time powers don't work in this dimension…_

(The two ?s glare rocket launchers at Mewtwo, but it doesn't have any effect on him.)

Mewtwo: _Oh yes, I forgot, you can't talk with your mouths taped closed_. *sarcastically* _So sorry._

? 2: *psychically* _Mewtwo, when I get this tape off, I am going to send you to the Stone age._

Mewtwo: _What? I'm sorry, I've put up a psychic barrier around you to keep telepathy from working._

Moe: Thank you Mewtwo.

Mewtwo: _You're welcome. Now, carry on. We all have better things to do. My science experiments call me._

Moe: You won't have to wait long, 'cause…

(The cameras focus toward the stage, and the lights are flicked on 'Dim' power and pointed toward the stage. Opening music starts playing as Moe bounces up onto the stage and into a chair.)

Moe: …It's time for…

(The lights flash on to 'Really Extremely High' power and literally put the spotlight on Moe.)

Moe: *turns toward cameras* The MOE Show!

(Moe winks, and the music fades.)

Moe: Hello to both viewers and readers, and welcome tooooooooo…The MOE Show, with me, Moe! Tonight, we're going to interview some of the people from our adventure—live! This is going to be veeeeeery interesting, if you get my catch. So let's bring in the victims—I mean, stars!

Starfy: Hm?

Moe: First up we have…*looks at list* Starfy! Come on out here, Starf.

Starfy: Me?

Moe: Yes, you, Starfy.

Starfy: Are you sure?

Moe: How many other beings named Starfy are in here right now?

Starfy: …Okay.

(Starfy manages to 'leap' onto the stage without humiliating himself. He also manages to knock a sign that says 'Moe Show' on it off the stage. The sound of an audience laughing can be heard.)

Starfy: …Um, whoops, hold on.

Moe: *snickering* Chill, Starf, all our guests are supposed to do that when they get on the stage.

Starfy: Oh! I did that on purpose.

*insert audience laughing again here*

Moe: Well, whatever Starf, how'dya feel about this adventure? Lay it on us.

Starfy: Well, it's insane, but nothing I can't handle!

Moe: Hm, I'm sure. Why do you have a star sticker stuck to your forehead?

Starfy: I do?

Moe: …Yes.

Starfy: Uhhh…

Moe: Here. *rips off sticker*

Starfy: OW!

*cue audience laughing again*

Moe: Hey, you're not a pop star. Stop ripping off the 'OW!'

Starfy: But I—

Moe: You tryin' to pick up Michael Jackson's fans or somethin'? Well, whatever. That's all for this interview with Starfy, Prince of Pufftop. Next on the show we've got…uh, hold on, is this a typo?

Sign that the Author held up: No, it's not.

Moe: *sigh* Fine. *evil smirk* Next on the show is…Starly, Starfy's sister—and the real brains behind the Pufftop Castle! Say hi Starly!

Starly: Hi! Anyway, yeah, I'm Starfy's sister, the Princ_ess_ of Pufftop. It's pretty tough being Starfy's sister sometimes…

Moe: Really? Do tell.

Starly: Well, I do all the chores while he naps, I protect Pufftop while HE runs around on adventures—and even then I have to help him with the puzzles-, I water the clouds around the castle, and I help him with the fighting. And that's not even beginning the other things I have to do. I train the soldiers and keep them in check, help with the cooking, assist the IT department, manage the castle while Mom and Dad are gone, AND I'm the majority of the main fighting force. That only scratches the surface of what I do, by the way.

Moe: Quite the catch, eh?

Starly: Took the words right out of mouth, Moe!

Sign that the Author held up: Literally, according to the game.

Starly: So if anyone out there is tall, handsome, hardworking, and a prince of another kingdom, let me know! I'd be quite interested…

Moe: I'll betcha, since I know who you're referring to. *snickers again*

Starly: *blushes so that her cheeks are red instead of pink* MOE!

Moe: HAHA! We'll be right back after this three minute commercial break.

(Moe presses a button, cuing commercials to play on the television. They're all about pokémon games.)

Mewtwo: *facepalm* _This_ had _to have been rigged_…

Moe: Yup.

Starfy: Hey! How come Starly didn't have to knock the sign out of the way?!

Moe: Whoops… *sets sign up again*

(The commercials end.)

Moe: And we're back here on…The MOE! Show! Now let's interview our next guest, Bunston!

(Bunston jumps onto the stage—and onto the sign!)

Moe: Heyyyyyyyy, nice touch of originality there, Bunston!

Bunston: Thanks Moe. Um, hello, I'm Bunston! But I guess Moe already said that. Sorry, Moe, I'm just a little nervous…

Moe: That's okay, Bunston! Just relax. After all, it's not like you're scared of heights or anything…

Bunston: Yeah. Otherwise, I wouldn't be standing on this sign…

Moe: Heh, you're right. So, Bunston, what do you think of the food here in Gluglug Lagoon?

Bunston: I have to say, out of everything I've sampled, all the food I've had tastes great! I especially enjoyed the vegetable wraps and the carrot cake. The popcorn at 'Pop's Corn Shop' tasted really buttery and cheesy and warm, and their corn dogs were awesome too! The pizza at the Pizza Palace was great, and their ice cream was the best!

Moe: Very interesting!

Mewtwo: *snickers while staring at ? and any other snack-loving authors* Popcorn? Pizza? Ice cream?

Moe: So, Bunston, I have a strange question for you.

Bunston: That's okay Moe! Ask away.

Moe: What's the carrot stuck to your back do?

Bunston: Oh! Well, lemme see. I think it serves as a laser gun, but I don't wanna fire it at anything important…

Moe: Here, fire it at that target over there!

Bunston: *sees target on wall* Okay! Here goes!

(Bunston pulls a small green trigger, and the end of the carrot opens up and shoots a huge multi-colored laser at the target on the wall. When the smoke clears, a huge hole in the wall can be seen…)

Starfy, Moe, and Bunston: AWESOME!

?: *star eyed*(I KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY!)

Bunston: Oh man, this is so cool! And it doesn't even need batteries or recharging!

Moe: Wanna try it again?

Bunston: Oh yeah!

(Bunston fires the laser at the target again, causing another explosion.)

Starfy, Moe, and Bunston: _STILL_ AWESOME!

Bunston: And I haven't even checked out the different modes on this baby yet! Sweet!

Moe: We'll have to invite you back on once you've got it fully figured out! Now, I've got one last question. You mind?

Bunston: Nope! Go ahead, ask me.

Moe: Do you like spray paint?

Bunston: Spray paint? I guess it's pretty cool, yeah. I've never used it.

Moe: Oh-ho, we'll have to help with that. Well, that's Bunston!

Bunston: Thanks; see ya!

(Bunston hops off the sign.)

Moe: For our next interview, we have…Angelica!

(Angelica's purple shell falls onto the stage.)

Moe: Come on out, Angelica!

(The mermaid-)

Angelica: *glares at sky*

(-Er, Angelica, is wearing a leaf green shirt with a Leafeon on it. She's also wearing a yellow skirt.)

Moe: You been playing pokémon, too?

Angelica: No. *looks at shirt* This is pokémon related?

Moe: Yes. Where did you get the shirt?

Angelica: *glares at ?* You can probably guess…

?: *shrugs*

Moe: But anyway, what do you do in your spare time?

Angelica: Spare time? Well, it depends. With modern technology, I've got a lot of free time. I spend some of it listening to music, some working on my videogame pet business, some decorating my clothes, some going out for lunch with people, and a wide variety of other activities. I'm pretty popular, for a mermaid.

Moe: Where do you eat at?

Angelica: Well, for lunch there's a nice sandwich joint over by the pier, and there's also a place called 'The Dining Dock' that I go to a lot. That place has almost everything. You could eat there for any meal! And they've got a really low price, so that tends to be where I go most of the time. There's also a nice ice cream parlor further inland. And that's only here in Gluglug Lagoon—I've been waaaaaaay more places than that!

Moe: Thanks for the recommendation! We might be eating at The Dining Dock tonight…

Angelica: Seriously? I'm going there tonight with Herman! Maybe we'll see you there! Right now, though, I've gotta get ready. See ya!

(Angelica closes her shell, and the shell suddenly vanishes into thin air.)

Moe: We've got another guest before our commercial break—he isn't shy about coming out of his shell, that's for sure! Let's give it up for Herman!

Herman: Hey hey hey! *knocks sign out of the way*

Moe: I was waiting for someone to do that! Now, we all know you've got some special pet fish, Herman. Tell us a little about them.

Herman: They aren't just any pet fish, man! They're champion, purebred Coddies! They've won tons of competitions in the Coral Reef Fairs!

Moe: Seriously? THE Coral Reef Fairs?

Herman: Yeah! I've kept all their ribbons and other prizes as proof! I love 'em like my children, man. I've heard that there's another rare breed of Coddies in the forest, but I don't want my precious Coddies to get jealous or anything. Besides, I wouldn't want to take them out of their environment if they didn't want to…

Moe: I don't think that any Coddie could resist you.

Herman: I've gotta go feed my Coddies right now! Thanks for having me on the show, Moe!

(Herman jumps off the stage.)

Moe: We'll be right back after these messages!

(A commercial for Globerto's map business came on, followed by yet another video game commercial for the new pokémon game.)

Moe: Now we're back on the MOE! Show! We've decided to invite one of Starfy's biggest fans from Gluglug Lagoon, Kit Fish!

(Starfy's eyes grow wide as Kit runs off the stage and tackles him.)

Kit: STTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYY!

Starfy: HELP!

Moe: Er, Kit?

Kit: STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFFYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Moe: Um…maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Who's next?

Moe's Family: We are!

Moe: Huh? No, Fat Cat is!

Fat Cat: *from shadows* I can wait; go ahead with them.

Moe: Well, okay…These are my little siblings—Green, Red, and P—hey, why did you make yourself white, Purple?

Purple: So we could be Christmas colored, of course!

Moe: But we still have a week before HALLOWEEN passes us! And then Thanksgiving!

Purple: So? Now I can be called White! It's one syllable AND it's the same nickname as the fifth gen. girl trainer in Pokémon!

Moe: YOU play pokémon TOO?!

Purple—er, White: Yep! Big fan of the fifth gen!

Moe: Well, I have no problem with that—so long as you don't touch my games.

Green: We've been doing all our chores while you're gone, don't worry! I even made us dinner!

White: You mean _I_ made us dinner!

Green: Er, yeah. Sorry, White.

White: I'VE got everything under control here—

Green: So you can just keep adventuring!

White: Right now, we're on our way to the market down here, so we'll see you later! Say 'bye' Red!

Red: Bye!

Green: Bye Moe! (Erm…all their names are pokémon related…but I didn't do that on purpose…)

Moe: Well, that was certainly unexpected. We'll be right back after this commercial!

(Mini G's minigame challenge commercial appeared on the air. Starfy takes careful notice of the information presented.)

Starfy: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Bunston: *elbows* Psst! Wake up, Starfy!

Starfy: Hmn?

(…but apparently not quickly enough.)

Starfy: What'd I miss?

Voice from offstage: Hep ho, hep ho, let's go, let's go, one-two-three-four! More more more more!

Moe: Huh? Hey! I thought I had another commercial lined up!

Mewtwo: *facepalm again*

Moe: Well, that doesn't matter. We're on the air again on the MOE! Show, with me, Moe, and our guest, Fat Cat!

Starfy: Yeah!

(Fat Cat appears and knocks the sign off the stage…through the wall…)

Moe: We'll get on that…

Fat Cat: Oho! Sorry, I was just doing a little practicing.

Moe: Oh yeah! Sumo wrestling, eh? Had any matches yet?

Fat Cat: Well, I haven't had any this month except for Starfy. The last match I had, well, I kinda trounced the opponent a little TOO hard. After that, I've taken a little break. You wanna quick match, Moe?

Moe: Hm. Though the offer is tempting, I still have to finish the show—and the adventure. However, I'll let you know when I'm not busy and we can get some good stuff rockin'!

Fat Cat: Oho! I'll remember the offer Moe! Well, I've got to get back to training—but let me get the sign for you.

(Fat Cat retrieves the sign and expertly tosses it back into its proper place.)

Moe: Sweet! Thanks!

Fat Cat: You're welcome!

Moe: Now let's see…did I get everyone? I think so—

(Suddenly, a familiar blue fish appears on the stage and knocks the sign off again.)

Fork: Let's get a "wooohoo!" here on the Fork Show! It's me, Fork! And today, we're—

Starfy: Hey!

Fork: Huh? Oh, it's you, starface!

Moe: Hey hey hey, "woohoo!" in any form or length is officially MINE in this story! Wanna get sued, buddy?

Starfy: I'll show YOU starface!

Fork: I don't care, starface! And you, clam, I can copyright "wooohoo!" if I want! Who cares about—

Moe: NOW YOU HOLD ON THERE, FORK!

Fork: What's the problem? I've always wanted my own talk show. So I'm the host, I'll do the talking, and I'm in charge. Oh, and we need to change the name. How about "Fork Rocks"? I've always wanted to rock and have my own show! Now I get both!

Moe: …Can you say "completely dumb"?

Fork: Completely dumb!

Moe: …Idiot.

(Moe sends Fork flying off the stage and through the wall.)

Starfy: Whoa!

Bunston: He did that just like Fat Cat!

Moe: Now, I have one last guest to interview. *looks over to Mewtwo, ?, and ? 2* Can one of you come up here?

(The Author and ? 2 both point to Mewtwo.)

Mewtwo: _Oh…come on…_

Moe: Come on up, Mewtwo!

(Mewtwo reluctantly teleports onto the stage.)

Moe: Well…how do I start?

Mewtwo: _Just ask me a question. One question, preferably._

Moe: Okay…How does it feel to be a cat and have to follow us through swimming levels?

Mewtwo: _To start, I will say that I do not actually 'follow' you in the sense of actually trekking after you. I teleport to you whenever I see that, using my screen-peeking device, you may possibly need assistance. But I am also psychic, so I can float as well. Plus, cats in pokémon aren't necessarily scared of water. Only types of pokémon that are weak against water fear it, and even then, some don't even care. Not to mention that I'm a legendary pokémon, so I typically have an image to uphold. Those legends who have fears usually hide them pretty well. Some don't. Like Palkia, for instance._

(The Author glares at Mewtwo for insulting Palkia.)

Mewtwo: _Like I care. Is that good enough for you?_

Moe: Yep!

Mewtwo: _See ya. *teleports*_

Moe: That's all today on The MOE! Show! See you next time!

(Moe winks again, and in a flash, all the equipment and decorations are gone.)

Starfy: Wow! How'd you DO that?!

Moe: My magi—uh, technology.

?: *sighs in relief*

Moe: But whatever! *closes case* Let's EEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!

Starfy and Bunston: YEAH!

Moe: Dining Dock here we come!

(The fandoms and the writers start walking toward the restaurant.)

Mewtwo: _…I guess I can take the tape off so you can eat…_

?: Thanks Mewtwo.

? 2: If it wasn't against the rules, I'd kill you, Mewtwo.

?: You liiiiiiiike him…

? 2: Repeat that?

Mewtwo: _Get real. You're just saying that so you can convince yourself that you having a crush on Palkia is reasonable_.

? 2: *death glare*

?: What? Do you really like him? Are my CosmosShipping hopes valid?

? 2: Run, or I might kill you.

?: ! *flees with Moe, Bunston, and Starfy*

Mewtwo: _Thank goodness_.

?, Moe, Bunston, and Starfy: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Mewtwo: _Maybe…_

Note: Fork really does say "wooohoo!" in the game interview. Go back and look for yourself; but you have to have completed the 1-3 Fork mission in order to get the interview to come up.

Review please!


	11. The First Chapter that is K Rated!

Starfy Parody World 1-7

A/N: So I am determined to get up to date on my stories. That means that you will get more updates—hopefully as soon as I plan.

Cast Members: *insane laughing*

So in this chapter, we leave Gluglug with my favorite—not really—type of level—a secret level that has no relevance to the storyline! On with the show!

Oh, and I like party favor horns. They are not annoying.

**Disclaimer: **No franchises of any kind belong to me. I only own the parody.

?: Heeeeeeey Dia! Gueeeeess whaaaat?

? 2: Whaaaaat.

?: I'm hungry.

? 2: YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST OVERUSED THAT JOKE LAST CHAPTER!

?: Come on, Dia! I published that chapter about a month ago! Nobody's gonna remember that I used it!

? 2: You could at least have some internet dignity!

?: Well whatever. Let's just start the story.

Starfy: …sounds like a good idea to me…

?: Okay. I'll be watching 'cause—er, just 'cause. Go ahead! Start the secret levels-*in quieter, more irritated voice* that I hate so freakin' much because they're so short and pointless to write about.

Starfy: Did you say something?

?: I—

Mewtwo: _Nothing of use._

?: What he said.

Starfy: 'Nothing of use'? Why'd you say that?

?: …Just get on with the level. Starfy.

Starfy: Oh fine.

?: Stupid –

(The author's next word got over-recorded by the sound of one of those annoying party favor horns.)

?: Hey, what the—

*party favor horn going off*

?: Seriously, what the—

*party favor horn going off again*

?: …is going on here?

? 2: That's what you get for watch Blimey Cow's video about 'bad words' multiple times.

?: That is so—

*party favor horn*

?: …You know? I'm not even going to bother. If we can't swear, so be it. And they're not annoying.

Moe: Really? Lemme test!

*multiple party favor horns going off almost simultaneously*

Starfy: My virgin ears!

?: Get moving you—

*party favor horn*

?: Just complete the bonus level already before I sic Kit on you.

Starfy: O…kay…

(Starfy jumps onto the portal, only slightly intimidated by the threat of Kit.)

Starfy: I wonder if she'll kill me with one of those hugs…

(Well, maybe 'somewhat' intimidated is more like it…)

Starfy: But even then…

(Oh who cares at this point…)

Starfy: The readers.

(…Starfy lands on a wooden bridge and sees Bunston standing in front of him.)

Bunston: Oh hey Starfy! I was wondering when you would show up. There are some weeds behind me and I figured we could team up.)

Starfy: That sounds simple.

(The two transform into the awesome fire-breathing dragon that is Monstar-)

?: It is MORE than awesome, you—

*party favor horn*

Mewtwo: *snickers* (that seems to be all that Mewtwo is capable of doing in this chapter...)

?: Grrrrr…

Monstar: You know, we're just sitting here waiting…

?: Oh! You can go on ahead. We're just talking.

(Monstar blasted through the weeds and clams with his awesome fire power—until they got to a breakable floor, that is.)

Monstar (Starfy): Uh…are we safe standing on this?

?: Probably not.

Monstar (Starfy): Then what are we supposed to do?!

?: Break the blocks and jump down.

Monstar: …good enough.

(Monstar breaks a hole open to jump through, only to land on another block floor. Slightly annoyed, they break through this one—and land on _another_ block floor.)

Monstar: How many more of these _are_ there?

?: That should be the last one…

(Monstar breaks through the floor, but contrary to the author's word, there's-)

Monstar (Starfy): It's another—

*party favor horn going off*

Monstar (Starfy): -floor! You said that was the last one!

?: Uh…hold on…

ONE HOUR LATER

? 2: That was one hour and _fifteen_ _minutes_ later.

?: Who cares. Now that floor _should_ be the last one.

(Luckily, the author was right this time.)

?: Like always!

Mewtwo: *facepalm* (Okay, so maybe it wasn't.)

(After burning through some more enemies and weeds, Monstar finds the door and squeezes through it. The door seems to be slightly smaller than the other ones…)

?: Dude, that wasn't me this time!

? 2: You are hopeless…

(…And Starfy falls down a passageway-)

Starfy: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(-into the water.)

?: Current…

(And a small current that he can't swim against.)

Starfy: Oh no! I missed the bubbles with the pearls in them!

?: Starfy, they only had one pearl in each of them. Get over it.

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

Starfy: …Don't tell me that it was up there…

?: Nope! Stuff like that won't come till later!

Starfy: I don't know whether that's comforting or not.

?: It depends on your point of view.

Starfy: Who cares.

(Starfy spends forty-five minutes searching the passageway leading in the direction he's supposed to be going, but to no avail. After he's collected a few pearls, he sees a sign pointing upward.)

Starfy: But there are two paths upward! Which one do I take, the left one or the right one?

?: The one to my left or your right!

Starfy: Ugghhhhh…

(Starfy translates the directions and jumps up onto a dock. There's a small opening underneath a wall that might be big enough for him to crawl through-)

?: Starfy can't crawl, remember?

(That might be big enough for him to slide under-)

?: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM WHAT TO DO!

Starfy: Hiiiiiiiiyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aa!

(…or that he could judo-kick down in one shot…)

*party favor horn going off*

Starfy: Who—

?: -I knew I shouldn't 've been so cheap with the contractors…

Starfy: O…kay…Hiiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaaaaaaa!

(Starfy tries to karate-kick his way through the next wall-)

Starfy: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!

(But it's apparently tougher than he assumed.)

?: Well at least that one was made out of good materials!

? 2: Here's a hint: run and then slide under them.

(Once Starfy stops hopping on one foot, he takes ? 2's advice and ducks under the wall. He flies right into a treasure chest!)

You got Bunston's Journal!

It seems that I have the power to transform things…I don't know where this power comes from. And when I'm with Starfy, the power is really strong! Maybe Starfy can help me master this power…?

Starfy: Did he have to write it down so he didn't forget it again?

?: Under my advice!

Starfy: …

(Starfy has just enough room to slide back out of the room and jump back into the water. He notices some strange, fat, brown creatures with miniature wings.)

Starfy: Hey, what're those?

Creatures: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E!

(The creatures start chasing Starfy.)

?: Well that's not supposed to happen…Whamster are usually terrified of visitors…

(Luckily for Starfy, the door was not that far. He even managed to grab a few big pearls while he was escaping. When he appeared on the other side of the door, he found himself in a small tide pool.)

Starfy: Why is it getting slightly dryer when I swam _down_ to get here?

?: The tide must be going out…either that or you're getting closer to Hotcha Springs and that new restaurant…

(Inspired by the restaurant, Starfy swims off through the tide pools, ignoring Angelica's shell along the way. He swims down a passageway, grabs some pearls out of bubbles-)

Starfy: They can't trick ME anymore!

?: You'll never need that skill again, though. Just saying.

Starfy: …

(-swims back up the passage, and finds something rather hard to accomplish…)

Starfy: Urgh…this jump…is just a little…too high…for me…

(The ledge that Starfy is trying to jump on is just a tiny bit out of reach for the spoiled—chubby-star…)

HALF AN HOUR LATER

Starfy: FINALLY!

iPhone: TREASURE!

(Starfy has landed on top of a huge blue treasure chest!)

You got a Heart Gem!

(The Bunston's Collection app came up and marked down the Heart Gem on it.)

Starfy: Hey! There's the level complete thingy! Woooooooohoooooooo!

?: -

*party favor horns*

?: -Moe…

? 2: Shut it.

(Starfy lands back on the Gluglug Lagoon map.)

Angelica: Hi!

Starfy: You aren't angry that I ignored you?

Angelica: No, I have better things to do.

Starfy: Thanks.

*awkward pause with crickets chirping*

Moe: Food!

Bunston: Target practice!

Starfy: Something along those lines!

?: SilverUmbra!

Mewtwo: _Peace and quiet._

? 2: Sanity…

Angelica: Ice cream.

(A pay raise…)

A/N: Ah, the way to be inspired is to seek inspiration. I can't remember who said that, but it was someone. I feel that that helped in this chapter. And yes, Blimey Cow is a youtuber who runs the series Messy Mondays. Go watch some of his videos now. Especially the ones like '7 things that won't be cool in twenty years', 'Stupid Drivers', 'How to be 'Just friends' in five easy steps', and 'Why I hate going to the doctor'. Those are just a few of the funniest ones. There are other videos that he has—like the ones that have to deal with things like church youth groups and dating…oh, those are funny video parodies. The one I was watching was called The One About "Bad Words". Go watch it NOW.

Big Headed Kid: That sounds like poetry! *goofy grin*

Oh, but before you do that, review please! I feel like I'm not getting anyone who actually reads the fics, so a review would help. A lot. Thank you for reading!


	12. Hello Yellow!

Starfy Parody Chapter 12 World 2-1—Oh Nogo

A/N: *cue opening music for Messy Mondays* Okay, I am somewhat obsessed—but not as obsessed as I am with Palkia. But at least I'm making an effort to write parodies, and that's always good…right? *smacked for straying off subject* Read the chapter and then leave me feedback… Like feedback on how much swearing I should edit out… *curses, but gets censored out* Congratulations, me! I sound like a twelve year old playing Call of Duty! *destroyed for Messy Mondays reference*

Slight Note: All right, I have to give you guys a slight warning. Note that I have to make one of the new characters act like a talkative b**** (wow, that makes three in the story) due to the fact that the next character I introduce along those lines (which won't be for the next ten chapters) won't be doing any talking. AT ALL. And no, this is not an OC. You'll see when you read about two or three pages into the chapter. In Word 2010. In Calibri print. Size 11. Normal formatti- *smacked.*

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Starfy, Pokémon, a Torkoal named Mickey, or a copy of Pokémon Emerald. I own a copy of Pokémon Platinum, though…?

* * *

(Starfy and co. are standing on the World map portal for Gluglug Lagoon. Starfy seems to be crying over something.)

Starfy: *sniffle* Oh Moe, I don't know whether to be happy or sad that I'm leaving. I won't get to eat at the Dining Dock until we finish this adventure…and Fat Cat…

Moe: And Kit.

Starfy: *stops crying and screams* AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Bunston: Don't worry Starfy! Think of the new restaurant we're going to for dinner tonight!

Starfy: *sparkle eyes* Restaurant…

**Meanwhile…**

Mewtwo: _Well, I can't believe it. You actually made it this far._

? 2: Woo. *sarcastic clapping*

?: *glares* Shut up, Mewtwo. This next stage will be put out faster than ever. As for you, Dia, *laughs maniacally* goodbye.

? 2: *actually surprised*…what?

?: I said goodbye.

? 2: But…why?

?: Because, Dia, I'm replacing you with another character from another random fandom.

Mewtwo: _Horrible rhyme, by the way…_

? 2: Why are you replacing ME?! Why not _Mewtwo_?!

Mewtwo: _Yes, great idea. I fully support it._

?: One, because you've been around for all of the first chapters. Two, it's part of a plan that I have. Keeps things fresh and all that. The readers might get bored of us screaming at each other whenever there's a problem, so I'll switch to Starfy and the other buddy screaming at each other whenever there's a problem instead. And three, I can't even remember why I chose you to be my first review buddy, anyway. You would've been soooo much better in one of the later chapters…

? 2: This is discrimination.

?: Discrimination would be if I kept you just because Palkia is your counterpart—and possible date.

? 2: You did not just say that, you evil legendshipper. *Hyper Beams into wall*

?: I'll date him if you won't…*dodges Flash Cannon* I'M JUST KIDDING!

Mewtwo: _But if we're right here, than who's the review buddy?_

?: *calms down* I've already sent her down to the Hotcha Springs map panel. Dia, you'll get a chance to say goodbye to the crew at the end of the chapter.

? 2: …Fine.

?: You're not arguing? No whining or complaining or smacking me around?

? 2: No.

?: You're sane?

? 2: Yes. But answer this…

?: What?

? 2: How did I get roped into this into the first place?

?: Hmmmmm…

Mewtwo: _She's thinking. That's NEVER a good sign…_

?: I don't know. I can't say that I hired you because of Palkia, because that was before I was obsessed with him and I was obsessing over Giratina instead. Maybe because I needed someone to babysit Mewtwo.

(Both Pokémon legendaries stare at each other in disbelief, but the conversation goes on.)

Mewtwo: *glares* _She stole my job, for pete sakes._

?: That and you were the first character to come to mind.

? 2: I'm not sure what to think of that.

?: Well let's see…

Mewtwo and ? 2: NO NOT LITERALLY!

BACK ON THE WORLD MAP

Starfy: Dude! What's taking her so freaking long?!

Bunston: Yeah. I wanna try some more shooting. *holds up laser gun* I've tinkered around with it some and I think it's been 'upgraded', so to say.

Moe: Upgraded? What's it do now?

Bunston: Well, it can fire off more shots in less time. And I added a few more levels of damage to what I can set it to. I've also tweaked a few other things, but I'm not sure what they'll do, so I need to test it out.

Starfy: Sounds awesome! Why don't we just go on ahead without the author and, you know, play around a little before she gets there!

Bunston: Hmmm…I'm not sure if that's a good idea…What if we're not supposed to?

Starfy: We'll be getting an early start! How can it be a bad thing?!

Bunston: Well, I do want to play with my laser gun…

Moe: I can't get in trouble, so I'll go along with whatever you guys are doing.

Bunston: Well…

Starfy: Then let's go!

(Starfy, Moe, and Bunston jump onto the now-opened Hotcha Springs portal. When they appear in the World 2 map, the trio notices three shocking things.)

Starfy: AGH! I'm not red anymore!

Moe: WOOHOO! All the spray paint is off of me!

Starfy: …It's so hot here…

(Steam is rising out of ducts in the rocks. There are pools of lava in a few places, and geysers are spouting everywhere. The temperature has to be about 98 degrees…)

Moe: *panting* You're actually right…Starfy…this is _so_…_hot_…

Starfy: *panting* Hey Bunston…aren't _you_…hot?

Bunston: *confused* No…

Moe: It must…be…his space suit…

Bunston: Space suit? *looks* Well, it does look like that…

Unknown Voice: Hey! What're YOU doing here?!

Starfy: AAAAAHHHHHHH! EVIL SPIRIT!

Bunston: *nervously* Who's there?

Moe: Hey, who are you?

Unknown Voice: Oh! Are you that starfish and his friends, Moe and Bunston?

Starfy: Don't tell it!

Moe: Yes. Why?

Unknown Voice: Oopsies. Sorry about that…

(A circular creature jumps out from behind a geyser and lands on top of Starfy.)

Unknown Voice: Now that I can see you, I can tell that you aren't lying. Sorry, I was waiting for the Author to accompany you.

Starfy: We were supposed to wait for her?

Unknown Voice: Yeah, but who gives a [CENSORED].

Starfy: Hey, I thought the last chapter was supposed to be the only that was censored out!

?: True, but I have to keep this a little less than T rated just to be safe, especially considering that most of the audience reading this will probably not be expecting any swearing.

Starfy: One, where did you come from? And two, I thought that this was supposed to be K rated?

?: One, I appeared from a discussion. Two, when did I say this was K rated?

Moe: Chapter 2.

?: What? *shuffles through papers* …well _so what_ if I did!?

Mewtwo: *facepalm*

?: But anyway, this is Yellow Kirby. She's awesome.

Yellow Kirby: Why yes I _am_ awesome. And you can just call me Yellow if you want.

Starfy, Moe, and Bunston: *somewhat unenthusiastically* Hi Yellow…

Yellow: That's one thing you did right, at least.

Starfy: What—

Yellow: NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY shall say to me, 'Hello Yellow'. If they do, I will kick their—

?: K-T RATING!

Yellow: …um…rear end, let us say.

Starfy: If you're the review buddy, then why aren't you up with the others?

Yellow: 'Cause _I'm_ doing things _differently_ here.

Starfy: …Differently?

Moe: As in how?

Yellow: Instead of just _screaming_ at you, I'll be coming along _with_ you on foot.

Starfy: …Are you _serious_?

Yellow: Yep! *shoves Starfy* Aren't I awesome?

Starfy: Author?

?: *shrugs* We need variation; I told her to do that.

Starfy: What?!

Yellow: Well? What're you waiting for?! Get a move on to the stage!

?: Yeah, I've got an appointment.

(Starfy-)

Yellow: Oh, hey, invisi-guy.

(Yes?)

Yellow: You follow suit. No puns with my name of any kind.

(…)

?: Good luck Yellow! Don't pull any of your suction-power moves right now!

Moe and Bunston: …

Starfy: Hm—

Moe: Don't ask.

Yellow: Well? What're we waiting for?! LET'S GOOOOOOOO!

(Starfy and co. teleport off to stage 2-1. The first thing they notice is that…)

Starfy: OOWWWWWWW! HOOOOOOOT!

Yellow: HAHAHAHAHA!

(They landed in water almost as hot as the map.)

Starfy: ALMOST?!

Moe: Well, talk about being in hot water…Wanna call Starly?

Starfy: What? NO! She'll make us take even longer!

Moe: Just lemme know…

Yellow: Come on, Starfy! Let's get going already!

(Yellow pulls Starfy to the bottom of the …uh…hey, what's it called?)

?: I don't think it's a spring…

Yellow: Perhaps 'underground lake' is what you're looking for.

(Well whatever. They see a large boulder in front of them.)

Starfy: What the heck do I do with this?

Yellow: You haul it as far as you can go with it.

Starfy: …Seriously?

Yellow: YES.

Starfy: But—

Yellow: Just do it.

(Starfy swims over to the boulder. He tries pushing it, but it doesn't move.)

Yellow: USE YOUR TURBO SWIM OR STAR SPIN TO GET IT MOVING!

(Starfy spins into it, making it crash into a wall and sink to the bottom.)

Starfy: Hey, what's that spring behind it?

(Starfy tries swimming across the spring, but gets sucked up and crushed against some rocks.)

Starfy: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Yellow: IDIOT! THAT'S A GEYSER!

(Yellow swims up the geyser and pulls Starfy out.)

Yellow: Push the boulder into the damned geyser and it'll stop! Even we can use that kind of logic back in our own place!

Starfy: With springs?

Yellow: Geysers? Nah, too wimpy. We do that with volcanoes.

(Starfy follows her instructions and pushes the rock into the spring. It worked just like Yellow said.)

Yellow: *proudly* What'd I tell you! Aren't I awesome?

Starfy: *sighs* How much longer do I have to work with this egotistic freak?

Yellow: Hey! *punches*

Starfy: All right, all right, I'm going.

(Starfy swims through the new opening—only to see another boulder on the other side. He pushes it until he runs into a wall with it.)

Starfy: Where am I supposed to fit this through?!

Yellow: You aren't. All you had to use it for was to KO those fish.

Starfy: Fish?

(Starfy looks behind him and sees a bunch of cross-eyed red and blue fish floating at the top of the water. He grins sheepishly.)

Starfy: Whoops…so much for making friends with the wildlife…

Yellow: *facepalm*

(Starfy pushes the rock out of the way and swims through the opening. Guess what's waiting for him on the other side?!)

Starfy: It's another boulder…

Yellow: Party on.

Starfy: This isn't useless?

Yellow: No.

(Starfy plugs up yet another geyser, and luckily, he finds a door on the other side.)

Starfy: Thank goodness…

(…But, when he appears on the other side, he comes face to face with Moe. Before he or Yellow can say anything to Moe, a happy turtle-looking thing swims up above them.)

Turtle Looking Thing: Hi! Do you know where Hoenn is?

Starfy: Hoenn?

Yellow: Where's that?

Moe: Hoenn? That's in an alternate dimension. I don't know how you get here…

Turtle Looking Thing: I don't know either…I was supposed to be transferred between Pokémon Emerald and Pokémon Platinum…

?: MICKEY! I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU! COME TO MAMA, YOU SWEET TORKOAL!

Mewtwo: _Eh hem?_

?: Wha—oh. Come here, Mickey.

(The Author grabs the Torkoal and fires a super ball off into the distance. Suddenly, the ground starts to shake.)

Starfy: What the—

(A huge angry turtle with a volcano on his …fortress-looking shell comes rocketing toward Starfy, Moe, and Yellow.)

Moe: Hot Spring Snapper!

Starfy and Yellow: How'd you know that?

Moe: Just 'cause.

(The tur—I mean, the Hot Spring Snapper starts shooting pebbles out of his back.)

Starfy: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Mewtwo: _Isn't he supposed to shoot-_

Hot Spring Snapper: Damnit! I'm outta ammo! I'll be back for you!

(The angry turtle flies off.)

Moe: Well that was rather…strange…I'll bet it dropped all the boulders around here…

Mewtwo: _Never mind…_

Starfy: First a big squid, now a big turtle! Why do the critters down here grow SO HUGE!?

Moe: Who cares? Just find the old man!

(Starfy swims through the door behind Moe and lands on a rock. There are lines of Octopult on each side of him.)

Starfy: Yellow?

Yellow: Sorry, can't help. This is your call.

(Starfy quickly uses the rock to knock out all the Octopult and some other rodent-looking creatures while he was at it.)

Starfy: What're they?

Yellow: They're Nogos. They can only be destroyed by fire or rocks.

?: Following that logic, they could quite possibly be of the—MMMMMFFF!

Mewtwo: _No pokemon references. And Yellow's right._

Starfy: You're kidding, right?

Yellow: Wrong.

(Starfy proceeds to crush all the Nogos-)

?: BUT THEY'RE SO FREAKING CUTE!

(-and ignored the Author as he KO'd all of them. He found a large amount of big pearls, hit a streak, and uncovered the door from behind the mass of Nogo.)

Starfy: Let's-a go!

(Starfy swims through the door and out onto the other side.)

Starfy: What'm I supposed to do here?

Yellow: Oh, not much. Just drag a rock from the other side of the room over here so you can reach the door.

Starfy: …

(Starfy decides to accept the hard truth and listens to Yellow. True to her word, there was a rock on the other side of the room, and true to her word, he needed it to get to the door. Yellow stood there tapping her foot while Starfy panted and climbed onto the rock. When he was on top of it, he looked at her questioningly. Yellow simply inflated and floated up to the door.)

Starfy: Why couldn't you have just floated us up there?!

Yellow: It wouldn't have complied with the game. I'm not even supposed to be here, which would technically make me a glitch unlocked through cheating devices.

Starfy: Grrrr…

(When Starfy goes through the door, he sees none other than…)

Starfy: Moe…

Moe: Oh, don't mind me. I'm just here to tell you that you need to push that rock down that strong current that you can't swim against and take a windy alternate route so that you can catch it before it falls over a cliff.

Starfy: Let me guess: you're serious, right?

Moe: Right. The game designers are so nice to you, eh Starfy?

Starfy: Stupid freakin'…

(Starfy pushes the boulder into the waterfall; then starts swimming as fast as he can down the windy alternate path. However, he isn't fast enough to catch the boulder before it falls out of sight.)

Starfy: I can still see it. And why can't I grab it if I can see it?

(Starfy tries to grab the boulder, but instead gets an electric shock. The squealing starfish closes his eyes—a terrible mistake.)

Starfy: How? *opens eyes*

(…Because he got teleported back up to where Moe and Yellow were waiting.)

Starfy: Owwww…what happened?

(I just told you.)

Starfy: Yeah, but…why?

?: Traditional rules of 2D video games and the setting of a real story do not mix well. I had to prevent you from doing that so it would comply with the game. Now go back through the door so the rock will reappear.

Starfy: Okay… *goes through door and comes back*

(A rock appears out of nowhere.)

Rock: THUD!

?: That wasn't in the script…

Yellow: *facepalm*

Starfy: That's against my physics class! Matter cannot be created or destroyed!

?: That's my physics in my world. This isn't my world. Any other alternate dimension has its own physics. Get over it.

Starfy: Well, I already know what to do…this shouldn't be TOO hard, right?

TWENTY TIMES LATER

Starfy: *gasping* I…finally…did it…

(Starfy uses the rock to bash all the Nogos out of the way of the door.)

?: No no no! You forgot to check for secrets!

Starfy: And that would be where?

?: Oh, nowhere, really. Just in that current that you can't swim against.

Starfy: You're freaking KIDDING me, right?

?: Nope. This is a serious chapter.

(Starfy groans, but realizes that he didn't want to have to come back and get the treasure later. He just manages to get in the door before the current pushed him back to the top. When he arrives in the next extremely small room-)

Starfy: I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC!

(-he finds that the treasure chest is right in front of him. Starfy grabs it as quickly as possible.)

You got a snippet out of the **Hotcha Springs Brochure!**

Welcome to Hotcha Springs! Please explore our wonderful oasis! Take a walk on the beach or go for a dip in the hot springs!

Starfy: Hot GEYSERS, you mean! How is that even safe?!

Be sure to avoid the maniacal giant turtle on the loose. Enjoy your stay!

Starfy: …Is that what it really said?

?: Yes. It really did.

Starfy: …I won't ask.

(Starfy swims back through the door and gets pushed back up to the top, only to come face to face with his new favorite friend-)

Starfy: No. Please don't tell me that that's a—

?: Another giant boulder? It is. Embrace it was love.

Starfy: …Ugh.

?: And according to my calculations, you still need it.

Starfy: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

(Starfy knocks the boulder into the current; then swims around the winding passageway. The boulder has fallen into the pit, but the Nogo aren't there.)

?: Whoopsies, looks like you don't. My bad.

Starfy: Whew…I'm actually relieved…

(Starfy rejoices as he goes through the door. Moe is on the other side with Yellow.)

Starfy: How did you two get here?

Moe: Teleportation.

Yellow: Warpstar.

?: Warpstars even work here?

Yellow: Apparently.

Starfy: Whatever. What did you need?

Moe: Oh, I'm just here to…*looks at note* Remind you that you can still run here, you know. This isn't Pufftop Castle.

Starfy: I run there…

Moe: But you get a punishment if you're caught…

Starfy: *shivers* Whatever, I'm moving on.

(Starfy dashes past Moe and Yellow, only to run right into a pile of rocks, which promptly falls over. However, these rocks appear to be MAGICAL, since some small pearls flew out of them.)

Starfy: Awesome! MINE! *grabs pearls*

(Starfy proceeds to crash into every pile of rocks around. Some give him pearls; some don't. Starfy didn't care. He got his cash.)

?: Damn contractors… *picks up newspaper ads*

(Starfy runs around looking for more pearls, but all he finds is…)

Starfy: The level complete machine! You're my friend…

(Starfy jumps onto the level complete machine and falls back onto the map. A new portal is opened, and a path leading to it appears.)

Angelica: Hi!

Starfy: Where were you in this level?

Angelica: I don't know. I didn't bother checking.

Starfy: …Oh.

Angelica: Whatever. I'm out to eat. At a very fine restaurant. *closes shell*

Yellow: So let's eat somewhere! I'm hungry!

Moe: Yeah, I wanna try the new restaurant almost as much as you do!

Starfy: Where did you two come from?

Moe: The stage.

Yellow: The level.

Starfy: How?

Moe: Trans-dimensional teleportation.

Yellow: Scuba-diving.

Starfy: …Talk about mixed answers.

?: Wait! Don't go out to eat yet!

Starfy, Moe, Bunston, Yellow, and the Narrator: Why?

Bunston: Do you wanna come with us?

(Is the world about to end?)

Starfy: Did you wanna go for the free Wi-Fi?

?: They have free Wi-Fi?

? 2: GET TO THE POINT!

Yellow: Hey, why are you still around? I'm your replacement, remember?

? 2: You're not replacing me, to put it in its correct terms. I'm just taking a break behind the scenes. *snickers*

?: Uh, to put it short, Dia is taking a—sadly, temporary—break. Each world we go to will have a different review buddy. Just to keep things new, you know.

Starfy: WHAT?! YOU'RE FREAKING KIDDING ME! I'D RATHER HAVE WHOEVER THAT IS THAN YELLOW!

Yellow: Hey! *kicks Starfy*

Starfy: Well, actually, you're both the same *rolls eyes*, but I'd still rather have things stay the same. Who's with me?

Moe, Bunston, and the Narrator: Me!

Yellow: Not so fast! You're not the ones writing the story!

Mewtwo: _Why don't we let the Author decide?_

?: No! I have a better idea! *in low voice* And it's not just because I can't decide… *in normal voice* Let's let the audience pick!

Mewtwo: _The presidential election was just a few days ago. I'm sure the readers—wait, audience?_

?: The audience of the Moe show.

Mewtwo: _What does that have to do with anything?_

?: Something. It's a popular TV show; they'll be able to pick!

Mewtwo: _Well whatever. I'm sure the voters are tired of hearing all this voting hype. And besides, if this is a story, shouldn't you include-_

? 2: You're serious? Not only have you broken the first, second, third, and fourth walls—

?: I only broke the fourth wall, 'cause I don't know what the others are. And how do we still have a building if I destroyed all the walls?

? 2: *irritated and sarcastic* Because there's more than four walls.

?: *dumb* Really?

? 2: You-

Mewtwo: _BACK ON TRACK!_

? 2: *gets back on topic* You're going to make this awkward and ask for the readers to vote? Come on, be a little more mature!

Yellow: Despite the fact that I'm supposed to hate your guts, I agree. Only an amateur would be pitiful enough to beg for reviews like that.

? 2: Yeah, and that's not even mentioning all the excuses and late updates you give the readers.

?: SHUT UP! I'll just do this!

*insert awkward scene where the fandoms and author beg for reviews and votes*

? 2 and Yellow: LAZY!

Moe: I'm not going to get involved. Right now, it's time to eat.

Starfy: Oh yeah!

Bunston: I'm with you, but I still didn't get to try out my laser gun…

?: I'll let you do that soon, Bunston! I promise!

Bunston: …Okay…

(The crew heads off to the new restaurant—Steamy Surprises—for dinner. Mewtwo trails a little further behind.)

Mewtwo: _I was gonna say, shouldn't you include the read—ah, never mind._

(And now I'm off to go eat somewhere…hopefully as good as the restaurants in the game are…)

?: PARODY!

(…the restaurants in the parody. Whatever.)

BANG!

(Who-)

Bunston: Uh…whoops…it must've still been on…sorry…

Mewtwo: _Watch that thing, Bunston. I have no intention of being blown up by a carrot-shaped laser gun._

-Not too far away…-

Angelica: *soaking in hot spring while eating brownies and ice cream* Ahhhh…this is the life…(SHE GOT TO EAT WITHOUT A PROBLEM AND I DIDN'T! UNFAIR!)

* * *

A/N: And now readers, since the audience of the Moe Show is imaginary (well, the vast majority of it. You're typically included since you most likely read the Moe Show chapter.), you are the only ones who can vote—by review. Who cares that I didn't beg—I like reviews, and the fandoms like your comments on them.

Yellow: *evil grin*

So review please, and chow!


	13. How to Make an Annoying Level

The REAL Chapter 13 MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

A/N: Okay, first off, I owe you all an apology, especially the one or two people who checked on this during Christmas. I know that the clip said that this chapter would be up for Christmas, but when I originally wrote that, it was the 21st and I was at a condo with terrible Wifi (provided by AT&T, if you were curious). When I wrote that at that particular time, I had every intention of giving you an update for a Christmas present and was gonna follow through with it totally. However, I did not take into account the factor that I might get sick from my relatives, and when I got back on the 23rd, I was too sick to get on the computer, and I stayed that way for a while. So I'm sorry for disappointing you. So, so sorry. *resumes normality* But for setting you up, I'm giving you an extra update SOMETIME this week. Hopefully.

And for any new readers out there, review when you finish! It really helps inspire me, especially since my Mom doesn't like me doing a lot of non-school related writing. I'm sure that a few of you know how that feels.

**Disclaimer**: Because I put the words 'Disclaimer' and this sentence under the A/N, I am saved from being sued by rich millionaires for copyright issues.

Please tell me about any mistakes you may find. I am still human…TO MY KNOWLEDGE! *maniacal laughter*

Oh, and one more thing: I edited the last chapter, so you might wanna check on that.

Enjoy!

World 2, Level 2 (Hotcha Springs Level 2-2)

* * *

(*in heroic voice* Last time on The Legendary MOE!-)

Computer Automated Voice: *screaming at 650 decibels* CONSIDER REPLACING YOUR BATTERY! YOU ONLY HAVE 10% POWER LEFT!

?: DAMNIT!

(*in regular voice* What the heck was that all about?)

?: Ignore that.

(Okayyyyy…*resumes heroic voice* Last time on The Legendary MOE!-)

Computer Automated Voice: *STILL screaming* YOUR COMPUTER ONLY HAS 7% BATTERY POWER LEFT! IT WILL GO INTO HIBERNATION UNLESS YOU FIND ANOTHER POWER SOURCE!

(*irritated* Could you cut that out?!)

?: I'm on it, I'm on it—oh sh—

-temporary blackout-

?: Damnit. I sure hope this didn't erase my Pokémon movie from the internet memory…

? 2: How is that even relevant?

Computer Automated Voice: IDIOTS!

(I SAID…)

?: Whoops…I'll shut up now.

(*sighs in relief* Thank you. *resumes heroic voice again* Last time on The Legendary MOE!-)

Starfy: EVIL SPIRIT!

Angelica: You used that joke last month.

Starfy: I did? I can't remember that far back.

?: Stick with the script if you're gonna quote this, guys! And the 'evil spirit' thing is part of the recap.

Moe: Because you haven't updated in so long that nobody will remember what happened in the last chapter?

? 2: Nope. That's why it got edited.

?: GUYS! MY SCREEN TIME IS AWKWARD, SO DON'T MAKE A HABIT OF GETTING ME OUT HERE! YOU CAN DO THIS YOURSELF!

Mewtwo: _Are you sure it's not because you're being lazy?_

?: GAAAAAAHHHHHHH! GET ON WITH THE SHOW!

Mewtwo: _Show_?

?: Shut it.

(*in heroic but somewhat irritated voice* Last time on The Legendary MOE!...)

Starfy: EVIL SPIRIT!

Yellow: *points at herself* Idiot. Do I look evil to you?

Starfy: YES!

Yellow: *smacks Starfy* IDIOT!

(…We teamed up with Yellow the yellow Kirby…)

Yellow: Well did you think my name would be Green?!

(Found some of the basic mechanics of the world…)

Starfy: ANOTHER DAMN BOULDER!

Bunston: *blows up boulders* SWEET! THIS THING IS AWESOME!

(Ran into a crazed, giant turtle…)

Mickey: Hi! Do you know where Sinnoh is—

?: Get back here, Mickey.

Hot Spring Snapper: *shoves ? and Mickey aside* GRAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRRRR!

(Swam through numerous hot springs…)

Starfy: YOU didn't! WE did!

Moe: WOOOOOOHHOOOOOO!

Starfy: How can you hold an 'h'?

Moe: Magical powers.

?: *facepalms*

(And lost a sane team member…)

-behind the scenes-

? 2: Mewtwo? Are you there?

Mewtwo: _Yes. Why. I'm tired._

? 2: Too bad. Get me some more history books, please.

Mewtwo: _Why should I serve you?_

? 2: Because I fixed all of your inventions and I could blast you into the dinosaur's age.

Mewtwo: _Be back in fifteen minutes._

? 2: I'M COUNTING!

(And, after a flu epidemic…)

?, Starfy, and ? 2: *screaming in various tones of voice* I HATE BEING SICK!

Mewtwo: _Losers. That's why I don't eat food at those hotel party things._

?: You suck, Mewtwo!

(And video games that break the fourth wall…)

?: MAKERS OF THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: PHANTOM HOURGLASS! I WILL FIND YOU AND PUNISH YOU FOR MAKING BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL MANDATORY FOR STORY PROGRESS!

(We returned after the readers have all but forgotten about the story…)

Unknown Fanfiction Author 1: *stares at parody* You know, Cos, you're being really lazy. I mean, even with my cello practice, schoolwork, and everything else I have to do, I can still update stories, but, uh…

?: Yes?

Unknown Fanfiction Author 1: Hold on a moment, let me think of a way to put this nicely.

?: *bangs head into wall* Don't waste your time. I'm on it. But thanks anyway.

(To find-)

Moe: A mob of angry people who got ticked that we didn't update the story?

(No…)

Mob of Angry People Who Got Ticked That the Author Didn't Update the Story: What do you mean? UPDATE THE STORY!

(I'll ignore that. Go deal with it, Cos.)

?: Damnit.

(To find-)

? 2: My books?

(STOP INTERRUPTING!)

? 2: Sheesh, whatever…

(I said, to find that…*pauses* my script ended.)

?: Who cares, they get the point.

Moe: To find that it's hot here?

Starfy: To find a bunch of stupid boulders? *kicks boulder* OWWWWW!

Bunston: To find dinner?

Yellow: To find insanity?

Starfy: To find Wario?

Moe: Nah, I doubt he'd come back after getting trapped in those bubbles. He's such a moron.

Wario: HEY!

?: *kicks Wario* Stop making Starfy 3 references and get back on track. Go to the level already.

Yellow: *pushes Starfy, Moe, and Bunston onto level transporter* COME ON, IDIOTS!

Starfy: Ow! I have to work with this freak?!

?: I SAID YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Starfy: Damnit… *is kicked by Yellow* OW AGAIN!

(Starfy lands on dry ground this time, narrowly missing a few bare trees—well, mostly bare, that is.)

Starfy: *looks around anxiously* Where's Yellow?

Yellow: Up here! *drives Warpstar into ground next to Starfy*

Starfy: AGH! Did you have to freak me out like that?!

Yellow: No. But I wanted to.

(Starfy spins around and walks away—right into a dead tree.)

Starfy: Must I say it?

Yellow: Yes.

Starfy: Fine. Ow.

(Before he can move, however, an orange fruit falls on Starfy's head.)

Starfy: …how is this happening… *faints*

Yellow: …

?: Ooooh…that had to have been painful…

Yellow: Wanna bet? *smashes ? over head with orange fruit*

?: Damnit… *faints*

Yellow: That's what you get for not shutting up. *drops orange fruit*

? 2: Moron. Now you've gotta wait for them to wake up.

Yellow: That shouldn't be too long, though, right?

HALF AN HOUR LATER

Yellow: You've gotta be kidding me…

? 2: One, who are you talking to? Two, no, nobody is kidding you.

(At this, the Yellow Kirby utters a long line of curse words that I'm not going to bother repeating. Ever.)

? 2: Are you serious? I could do a MUCH better job at stringing together curses in an intelligible manner than SHE could!

(Don't. Please.)

?: *snores* Pyro…mania…pyro—

Yellow: *smacks* WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUP! This is NOT Owl City!

?: *rubs head* Obviously. Anyone would know that that song was written by Cascada.

Yellow: Get back to writing the story and take your little nappie later, you lazy author!

?: Okay, okay, fine. *vanishes*

(Next Yellow strolls over to Starfy. She tries screaming at him, kicking him, and various other things, but none of them work, so she just drags him along. Luckily, a spring is in sight, and it's not a hot one.)

Yellow: HA! Try this on for size!

(Yellow throws Starfy into the cold spring. However he lands between Moe and a lobster looking thing.)

Old Man Lobber: Hey! You! Don't you remember my name from the previous games!?

Moe: Fourth wall…

Starfy: *screams* Cooooooooooooold! *runs out into Yellow*

?: Did you really expect for it to be warm?

All On-Screen Fandoms: YES!

?: …oh.

Yellow: *kicks Starfy* Do you happen to realize that the seafood you're searching for is right here?

Starfy: Owwww…everyone here is seafood, Yellow. Who are you talking about?

Yellow: OLD MAN LOBBER, YOU MORON!

Old Man Lobber: Ah, youth. Reminds me of my wife back in the day.

Starfy: How did we not know about this through all games that you've appeared in?

Old Man Lobber: Nintendo thought it would be better to make me look like I was single. Then it would leave room for fan speculation and possible fanfiction.

Starfy: NINTENDO!

Old Man Lobber: But anyway, I've kinda been waiting on you all to show up.

Yellow: *stops kicking Starfy* How the heck did you know we were coming?

Starfy: *sighs in relief* Yeah, tell us. Please.

Old Man Lobber: Can't. It'll break the fourth wall.

Moe: Typically that sentence would, too.

Starfy: Where did you come from, Moe?

Moe: It depends on what sense you want me to answer in.

Starfy: …Never mind. We came here to ask you about this shard.

(Moe holds up a shard.)

Old Man Lobber: What about it? It's a shard.

Starfy: We're searching for more of them. Seen any?

Old Man Lobber: Seen? When my bathwater gets cold, my eyes go with it!

Starfy: But you just saw the shard—

Old Man Lobber: If you want my help, heat up the spring! And no, I can't get out of the spring. Doctor's orders.

Starfy: What did you do to have to go to the doctor's?

Old Man Lobber: I'm not allowed to say that right now. It contains spoilers.

Starfy: …

Old Man Lobber: But anyway! You should be able to heat the spring up by going underground through that door.

(The camera zooms over to a door that just opened.)

Old Man Lobber: Well? What're ya waitin' for? Go get it!

(Starfy and Yellow go through the door. As soon as they come out on the other side, they are confronted with a huge sign with a red arrow that points down.)

Starfy: NO DUH! WE WEREN'T ABLE TO TELL THAT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO- *smacked by Yellow* Okay, okay, I'm going.

(However, as soon as the duo starts to move on, they hear a familiar noise.)

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE! TREASURE!

Yellow: AGH! WHAT IS THAT?!

Starfy: *takes out iPhone*It's Moe's cheap treasure detector. Its warranty guarantees irritation and satisfaction for as long as you have it.

Yellow: Really?

Starfy: No.

Yellow: I didn't think so.

(For once, Yellow and Starfy actually cooperate in searching for the treasure: Yellow goes toward-)

?: Her left and the viewers' right!

(-and Starfy goes to-)

?: His right and the viewers' left!

(Stop interrupting.)

?: Had to be clear on that.

(Starfy swims downward and sees two lines of Nogo. Even though he gave the treasure detector to Yellow, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that something is behind them.)

Starfy: Is that a hint?

(Yes.)

Starfy: Thanks.

(Starfy keeps swimming downward in search of a boulder. Despite his IQ level to everyone else, he finds it behind a sign that points in the direction that he would normally be taking.)

Starfy: Towards home?

(No. Towards the path you're supposed to be taking if you ignore the treasure chest.)

Starfy: Oh well, whatever.

(Starfy hauls the boulder up toward the ledge. The first row of Nogos fled when they saw the boulder, something that our hero didn't consider possible. He just shrugged it off and got the pearls behind them. The second row of Nogos were much more stubborn than the first ones, however, and even slapped back at Starfy. Despite their efforts, they were crushed, and Starfy found the treasure chest behind them.)

You got a page from **Old Man Lobber's Diary!**

Starfy: Hey, it referred to it correctly this time instead of saying I got the whole thing!

Shut up, you! I just say whatever the designers program me to!

Starfy: Then how are you talking right now?

Parody powers. Gotta go.

Oh boy, my entire body aches! I can't even think straight…Some wise old lobster I am! I came here to soothe my body, but the water has gone cold. I reckon that Hot-Spring Snapper must be up to something…

Starfy: Hey Author? I have a question.

?: Shoot.

Starfy: How can someone write while they're in the water?

?: Um—um—um—why don't you ask me that a little later and finish the level first?! Bye!

Starfy: …LAZY!

Yellow: I'm not. I don't know about you.

Starfy: *turns around* Where the heck did you come from?

Yellow: The iPhone stopped going off, so I decided to look for you. Kudos on finding the treasure. Now let's move on.

(In the next room the two find a giant boulder. Starfy looks at Yellow and shrugs.)

Starfy: Shove it down? Got it.

(However, as soon as he pushes it down a few yards, it comes to a stop.)

Starfy: Hey, what the heck? How is this happening?

Yellow: MAYBE IT LANDED ON SOMETHING!

(Starfy swims underneath the boulder, and sure enough, it's sitting on a thin slab of…something that is holding in a powerful whirlpool.)

Starfy: *sweats* Good thing I didn't fall in there. Or the boulder.

Yellow: Or me?

Starfy: *shaking* Yeah. Lemme just get this to the bottom.

(Unfortunately for Starfy, the whole room is based on weaving the boulder around the whirlpools, which effectively freaks Starfy out. Just before he's about to have a heart attack, he sees a line of Nogos on the floor, which he squashes. He dashes behind the boulder and into the door faster than Yellow can catch up. However-)

Yellow: Who wrote this script, and how many more times does it say 'however'?

(You know who the script, and I haven't bothered counting. Now let's move on. *clears throat* However, when he goes through the door, he sees that the room he's in now is the same thing as the last room, except with a smaller boulder. Starfy promptly collapses, muttering something in his sleep about drowning even though he's a sea creature and can breathe underwater. He wakes up by being kicked by Yellow…again.)

HALF AN HOUR LATER

(Yellow has managed to tear Starfy out of the corner he hid in and complete the room, which was shorter than the last one anyway. Starfy peers around the next room in terror, wondering if it, too, will contain that set up. Fortunately, it does not. He climbs out of the water, but finds himself being sprayed back by something…)

Yellow: If you had paid attention at the beginning of the story, you would've seen these things. They can spray you higher to help you get things, like fruit, pearls, or advancement in the level.

Starfy: But I wanna go down! *sprayed back up*

Yellow: Just fall the other way!

(Starfy does as told—and lands solidly on the ground.)

Starfy: Owwww…

(…But is comforted by the fact that the door is right next to him. He drags himself into the room to find someone that he knows won't beat him up.)

Starfy: Bunston!

Bunston: Hey Starfy! C'mon, let's get going and transform!

Starfy: Transform? Why?

Bunston: The flames from Monstar's breath will heat up the geyser! Let's go!

(The two transform, and one fairly standard Monstar room later, they arrive at the geyser (Okay, okay, I know that the only obstacle in the room was a hill. And some Nogo. But seriously, all the Bunston rooms are short. Too short for my liking; why aren't there more? At least make them longer, Nintendo!). Bunston-Monstar narrows his eyes, then blasts the geyser with an enormous amount of flames. Five seconds later, the water is boiling hot, and Starfy, Bunston, and Yellow warp back to Old Man Lobber.)

Starfy: Did that help?

Old Man Lobber: Sure did! Now, about those shards. Up ahead, there's a bunch of fellers that you should have a chat with. Funny fellers. I reckon they can help you. Just head through this door behind me. Oh, and you boys—

Yellow: *clears throat*

Old Man Lobber: -AND girl remember to keep an eye out for the Hot Spring Snapper!

Starfy: You mean the pebble shooting one?

Old Man Lobber: Hmph. He mainly shoots boulders and fireballs, but yeah. That's him. Oh, and is that an iPhone?

Starfy: Yeah…

Old Man Lobber: Here, I'll give you an app I made.

Starfy: How do you know how to make apps?

Old Man Lobber: The library is offering a free technology class.

Starfy: Awwww…

Lobber's Logbook has been added to your iPhone!

Old Man Lobber: It's mostly just random trivia, but it does give you a rank that changes as you progress through your adventure! Now good luck, y'all!

(With that, the door behind Old Man Lobber opened. With a quick goodbye, the crew rushed through to the next room.)

Starfy: Moe? Bunston? Where'd you guys go?

Yellow: Just get through this room.

(Starfy steps onto a geyser, which send him sailing through a maze of more geysers. About halfway through, he crashes through a wall—just as Moe's treasure detector starts going off.)

iPhone: TREASURE! TREASURE! TREAS—

(However, this time the treasure is in plain sight, and Starfy grabs it before the iPhone can ruin his day.)

You got a Guard's Spear! Head over to the Stuff screen to see how cool you look with it.

(Starfy finished getting bashed by the geysers, and moved on to the next room, which was a Monstar level. After burning multiple cacti creatures and Nogo, they came upon a secret door. Old Man Lobber was on the other side.)

Old Man Lobber: Hey! Starfy! Can you do me a favor?

Starfy: Where are you? I can't see!

Old Man Lobber: That's the favor! Light up the bundles of wood with Bunston, but be quick, because if you take too long, they'll burn out.

Starfy: No prob!

Old Man Lobber: Thanks. Remember, move quick!

(The two transformed and started breathing fire everywhere. First they climbed a long set of wooden steps, which had three fires on the wall. One missing. Taking a risk for time, the two jumped off the highest and farthest step and went falling down to the ground—about 100 feet. Monstar was stunned, but the fire was right in front of him just like they had guessed. The two managed to light the fire just in time, and were automatically teleported back to Old Man Lobber, still clutching their sides.)

Old Man Lobber: Geh heh! Very promising! How about I give you something for your help?

Starfy and Bunston: *moaning* That would be wonderful…

Area Secret 1 has been added to the map!

Starfy: Thanks…I guess…

-back in the room-

(Starfy limped toward the door.)

Starfy: Limped? More like 'stumbled across the rugged terrain as I clutched my sides in pain'!

Bunston: It's an accurate description, but please, no rhymes.

(The next room contains a small geyser maze that automatically launches Starfy—to the finish!)

Starfy: THANK GOD YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS! FINALLY IT'S DOOOOOOONE!

(Starfy forgets his injuries and does a happy dance on the map with Bunston. Moe and Yellow join in a few seconds later before they all collapse, fainted.)

Angelica: *hangs out of shell* Hmph. *takes bite of strawberry shortcake* I guess I can call this a save, right?

?: Ri—

Mewtwo: *smashes ? over head with orange fruit again* _Right. I'm on break._

?: *faints* Damnit again…

Mewtwo: *repeatedly tosses fruit in paw* _This world might not be so bad after all…_

Meanwhile…

? 2: DAMNIT MEWTWO! WHERE ARE MY FREAKING HISTORY BOOKS?!

* * *

End Notes: Ugh…this took so much more energy than I thought it would. At least it's getting better in quality, though…isn't it? You'll get an update…sometime…hopefully…

Reviews are always appreciated. They inspire me. But I know that not all people have a lot of ideas as to what to put in their reviews (like me). So I'll make it easier for you all.

Copy and paste this into the review box if you reviewed this story, The Legendary MOE!

Everyone does the copy and paste stuff (well, not everyone), so come on! I'd like to know that there are still people that think this is a decent story.

Chow!

PS: I really hate how it got shorter toward the end, but there wasn't really anything funny about the last three rooms or the bonus mission and I didn't really feel that making them run around in circles relighting all the fires would be worth the time of both the writer (me) and the readers (you). Apologies if you were expecting that, but hey, at least it's something you could put in your review.


	14. Attack of Yellow and the Mummy Crocs

Chapter 14

A/N: Hi guys! I'm just going to start right in here and say that the beginning is a little long, but I think I made it funny enough—despite including some historical info. I really wished that it had balanced out in length with the end, though…

Oh, and *insertlameupdatingexcusehere *. That should do it.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Starfy or anything else. Otherwise, the Starfy games would've been brought to America already and the games would've been a whole lot more popular than they are now.

Enjoy, and Happy Groundhog Day!

* * *

World 2, Stage 5

In a storage closet somewhere far away from Yellow…

Starfy: Got an 8, Moe?

Moe: Nope. Go fish.

(Starfy picks up one of the cheap magnetic fishing rods and slings it over a pile of magnetized cards.)

Starfy: Okay. You go.

Moe: You have a three, Bunston?

Bunston: Yeah. Here.

(Bunston hands a card to Moe, who is somehow psychically holding his cards. He doesn't have many left.)

Bunston: I feel a little bad for leaving the others out…

Moe: Chill. They probably have their own stuff to do.

Bunston: Like what?

Moe: Hmmmmm…I can give you a few examples…

-In a diner-

Yellow: Do they serve strawberry shortcake here?

Waiter: Yes, ma'am, we do.

Yellow: Awesome! I'll have five slices, please.

Waiter: …

-Behind the scenes-

? 2: *whacks Mewtwo with large, 948 page book on the American Civil War that probably takes forever to read and is extremely boring* DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW LONG FIFTEEN MINUTES IS?!

-Randomness Cliff-

?: I was playing Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass and I accidentally named Link Cosmos and then I was too far in to change it. Has that ever happened to you?

Unknown Fanfiction Author 1: *edges away some* I can't think of anything at the moment…

-Back in the non-Yellow closet-

Moe: That sounds about right, doesn't it?

Starfy: What about your siblings?

-Moe's house-

Green: I really hope that Moe doesn't catch us using his 3DS.

White: Chill. As long as we don't dent it or something then we're good.

Red: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH H!

Green and White: Lunchtime already?!

-Back in the closet-

Starfy: I thought they weren't supposed to touch your video games?

Moe: Yeah, but they won't listen now that I'm not home. Your turn, Starf.

Starfy: *looks at cards* How about a—

Yellow: *outside the closet* STARFY! MOE! BUNSTON! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?! LET'S GO!

(The trio in the closet freezes in fear. Time stops momentarily as they all stay perfectly still and hold their breath. Unfortunately, Yellow must have some sixth sense, as the sound of footsteps grew closer to the closet. Bunston unfroze himself and quietly detached his laser from his back. Starfy's and Moe's eyes lit up when they saw the weapon, and they stared at the door, eagerly awaiting the anticipated explosion. Despite what they thought, Yellow's footsteps stopped; then faded away. The closet-mongers gasped for breath as Bunston put away his laser gun. The game resumed.)

Starfy: So anyway, how about—

(The door is thrown open by the now-smug Yellow Kirby, who looks down upon the surprised males in the closet. The trio looks around and sees no way of escape.)

Starfy: *yelling in terror* WE'RE ALL FREAKING DOOMED!

Yellow: Excuse me?

Bunston: *slaps paw over Starfy's mouth* Hey Yellow, what's up?

Yellow: The bonus mission, that's what. Come on, it's really short according to this sticky note.

Moe: Where'd you get it?

Yellow: *deflates slightly* Well, it's on a green posty note, is written in really sloppy handwriting, and has doodles of what appear to be pokѐmon on the back of it.

Starfy, Bunston, and Moe: Ohhhhhhh…

Yellow: But that doesn't matter right now. It's only supposed to be three rooms.

Starfy: Three rooms? Are you kidding me?!

Moe: That short?

Bunston: Am I involved?

Yellow: Sadly, no. You don't even need to bother going to the level. Instead, could you run down to the restaurants on this list and ask for their menus?

Bunston: Sure…but where's the list?

Yellow: Here.

(Yellow hands Bunston a sheet of paper. Then another. And ten more.)

Yellow: I don't know if you'll be done by the time we get back, but if you aren't, I'll search for ya.

Moe: Can I go, too?

Yellow: No. You're needed at the beginning of the level in case Starfy wants to call Starly.

Starfy: Oh heck no.

Moe: *insertMewfacepalmplz*

Starfy: *jawdrop* HOW THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT?!

Yellow: SERIOUSLY!

Bunston: That was cool Moe!

Moe: *poses*

Mob of Moe Fangirls from Chapter 1: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE!

Moe Fangirl #4: We finally found you, Moe!

Moe Fangirl #58: Yeah! Now can you give us autographs? I want you to sign all the pages of my 23 autograph books that I decorated with pictures of you!

Moe Fangirl #480: And I want you to sign my hands—and my cheeks—and my—

Moe Fangirl #29: I want to buy rights to own you from Nintendo!

Moe Fangirl #5938: I want Moe, but I want a better number, too…

Moe Fangirl #562: That's your problem.

Moe: *intimidated* Going to the level sounds fine. Let's go, guys.

Mob of Moe Fangirls from Chapter 1: NOOOO! COME BACK, MOE!

(Moe somehow grabs Starfy and Yellow and dashes off to the level faster than the fangirls could ever hope to run-)

Moe Fangirl #272: Are you calling us FAT, mister?!

(-and teleports off before they can catch him. The fangirls aren't done though, and they turn to Bunston. Sensing the imminent danger, the space rabbit quickly fires off a blast of his carrot laser to create a cloud of smoke, giving him a cover to get away in. The mob of fangirls eventually wanders off, swearing their devotion to Moe.)

BACK AT THE LEVEL

Moe: I might as well get my job done. You wanna call Starly, Starf?

Starfy: *focuses*

Moe: What are you doing?

Starfy: Trying to do that Mewfacepalmplz insert thing you did.

Moe: That was made possible by my magical powers.

-Behind the scenes-

? 2: *stops beating Mewtwo with book* Why do I get the feeling that someone is using or talking about magical powers?

Mewtwo: *flees*

? 2: GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!

-Back at the level-

Starfy: But there is no way I'm calling Starly, period.

Moe: Okay, whatever. Just get rolling.

Starfy: Rolli- *sees boulder* OH S[CENSORED] WHY [CENSORED]…

HALF AN HOUR LATER

Yellow: *kicks Starfy* You done throwing your tantrum?

Starfy: *gasps for breath* Yeah, I'm good.

(Starfy heads over to the boulder and starts pushing it. Much to his surprise, he only needed to push it a total of ten feet to plug up the spring.)

Starfy: Heeyyyyy, this is a good sign for the rest of the level, right?

(Wrong. Behind the geyser is yet another boulder. To make toting it across the section more difficult, there are bunches of currents placed strategically so that you would have to push the rock just the right amount or it would fall in a current and you would have to backtrack to get it out.)

Starfy: It was too good to be true, wasn't it.

ONE HOUR LATER

(Starfy has managed to get the boulder past the first three currents, but the boulder appears to have been star spun just before the end of the fourth one, making it nearly impossible to get it out physically.)

Starfy: *moans* Why? Why do I have to do all this?

Yellow: *sighs* If you time it right, you can go around the current, let yourself get sucked in just enough for you to reach the boulder, get sucked back to where you were, and then go back and get the boulder.

(Yellow's plan, despite seeming complicated, is actually simple enough for Starfy to pull. Of course, it takes a few tries, but what did you expect? A miracle?)

Starfy: Yes.

(Too bad.)

Starfy: Damnit.

(Luckily, Starfy makes it through the rest of the currents without any trouble. The geyser behind them is plugged, and behind it is…)

Starfy: You've gotta…

Starfy and Yellow: BE FREAKING KIDDING ME!

(The room isn't very big, and has no geysers, so Starfy and Yellow proceed on in without bothering to pick it up. The door is straight ahead—until the entrance and exit to the room are sealed off suddenly.)

Starfy: What the—

Yellow: HEY! STOP IT!

(A giant mummy-croc has appeared and is currently trying to eat Yellow. A few smaller mummy crocs have appeared and are swimming around it eagerly.)

Starfy: What the heck is happening?!

?: The zombie crocs in the Zelda-style pokѐmon monster house are trying to eat Yellow, duh.

Starfy: Hey! It's you! Can you fix this?

?: Sorry. I kinda can't.

Starfy: …What do you mean?

Yellow: STARFY!

(The giant mummy-croc shoved Yellow in his mouth. Our hero flinches, wondering what terrible fate his friend has met. He attempts to continue his conversation while dodging the attacks of the croc mummies.)

Starfy: Seriously, why the heck did you choose zombie crocs?

?: Well, I was reading a boring history book on the ancient Egyptians earlier, and there was this expedition of dudes who went out in search of treasure in the year I-forget-what, and they kept on digging up all these crocodile mummies. After they had piled up a large amount of them, they hit a temple.

Starfy: And?

?: And it turned out that it had been a temple to the crocodiles and that they had dug up some of the sacred ones that lived in it.

Starfy: What does that have to do with me?!

?: Well I just figured it would be funny if you ran into one. Didn't expect it would turn out like this, though.

Starfy: Can't you FIX IT?! And how do I save Yellow?

?: *chokes on air* _WHAT_?! Save…YELLOW?! YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?!

Starfy: *glares* No, I'm not.

?: Well…there MIGHT be a way to fix this…but you won't like it.

Starfy: Do I have to eat them?

?: NO, GORON—er, MORON! Take this book on Egyptian history and whack them on the back of the head with it! Maybe they'll return to the book!

(I highly doubt that that'll work.)

?: Just shut up and keep narrating! And it's a story; anything's possible!

(*sighs* Following the crazy plan that he is left with, Starfy starts swinging the book around wildly. By dumb luck, he manages to hit some of the smaller crocs. Even luckier, they vanished into thin air. At this point, the starfish manages to make his hits better aimed. Once he finishes taking care of the smaller crocs, he starts up toward the big croc, who is glaring at him.)

Starfy: *intimidated* I don't think he'll fit in this book…

?: Oh. Then let me have it back; I need to return it.

(Starfy chucks the book off to the side. A shovel appears in its place.)

Starfy: I'm supposing this is supposed to help me?

?: I dunno, figure it out yourself.

Starfy: *sighs* Why? Just…why me?

(Starfy is about to start beating on the zombie croc when it suddenly explodes.)

Starfy: …What? And what about the T rating?

?: Yellow's dynamite. Video game explosion.

Starfy: But how—OW!

(Starfy is hit with a projectile that turns out to be none other than Yellow, who is somehow still in one piece but unconscious. After clearing the spinning chicks from his vision, he suddenly realizes that Yellow is on top of him.)

?: BLACKMAIL!

Starfy: Would you shut up!? *rolls Yellow off* Yellow? Yellow, wake up!

(No response.)

Starfy: Wait…does that mean…she's—

(The starfish prince bursts out crying.)

Starfy: YELLOW! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR CALLING YOU EVIL, AND I'M SORRY FOR BEING DUMB, AND I'M ESPECIALLY SORRY FOR EATING ALL YOUR STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE! I JUST COULDN'T RESIST; IT WAS SO GOO—

Yellow: THAT WAS YOU?! JUST WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!

Starfy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Like every other plot twist like this that's ever happened in a humorous story, Yellow wakes up right at Starfy's confession.)

?: Hey, I couldn't let her die. Then I'd be stuck with Dia again.

? 2: *mauls ?* Be right back…

(Once both review buddies finish beating their respective counterparts into a pulp, Starfy and Yellow move on to the next part of the level. Upon arriving in the next room, they see a swarm of enraged Octopult that immediately starts attacking them.)

Starfy: AGH! What did we ever do to you?!

Octopult 23: You beat my cousin up!

Starfy: When?!

Octopult 23: In the last game!

Starfy: But you weren't in any of my previous games!

Octopult 23: …oh. Who cares!? ATTACK!

(Starfy and Yellow flee toward their right and hide behind a giant boulder before realizing that they can push it. With the rock at their disposal, the yellow duo plows through the swarm with no problems. After lugging it almost all the way across the room, they see the door that they need to go through. Starfy does not accept this fact.)

Starfy: NO! NO, DAMNIT! I DID NOT JUST LUG THAT BOULDER ALL THE WAY OVER HERE FOR NOTHING! THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING ELSE THAT I CAN USE IT FOR! Like that geyser over there…

Yellow: I'm not helping.

Starfy: *sticks tongue out* Whatever, I can do it myself just fine.

(Starfy plugs up the geyser to find a blue treasure chest in front of him. -)

Starfy: Wait! How come Moe's treasure detector thing didn't go off?!

(The starfish prince grabs the iPhone and tries to turn it on. Nothing happens.)

Starfy: What's wrong with it now?!

(Maybe it's not waterproof.)

Starfy: Then how the heck would it have worked before?

(Dunno. Dumb luck?)

Starfy: Well this is just great. Although I'm not sure if that needed to be sarcastic or not…*grabs treasure chest*

You got a Heart Gem!

Starfy: That's great, I guess…

(In the next room, the water level ends and goes onto dry land. Despite this, the iPhone still doesn't work. However, Starfy has just enough intelligence to see a dip in the wall above the pool he just came out of.)

Starfy: I wouldn't exactly call that a 'dip'. It's much bigger.

(Well whatever. Do you have any suggestions?)

Starfy: No.

(Then it's a dip.)

Starfy: But—ugh, fine.

(Starfy spins through a wall of blocks, only to get spun up into a Y-slingshot. He collects three pearls along the way. Spinning through the next row of blocks earns him the same experience. However, the last Y-slingshot is pointing the cliff.)

Starfy: I didn't need that hint this time, buddy.

(Who cares.)

Starfy: The readers. And me.

(Starfy got into the Y-slingshot and rocketed up to the cliff. The treasure chest wasn't the only thing up there; there were also several large and small pearls, too.)

Starfy: Awesome! *grabs pearls and treasure chest*

You got Old Man Lobber's Diary!

Starfy: Hey, you're messed up again, text log!

SHUT UP.

I reckon I've been impressed with Starfy's power.

Starfy: Didn't act like it.

He's grown a whole bunch since last time a saw him.

Starfy: Which was last game…

He just might take over for his daddy as king of Pufftop…if he can lay off the naps, that is!

Starfy: HEY!

Yellow: HURRY UP, STARFY! I'M TIRED OF WAITING WHILE YOU DO ALL THE FUN STUFF!

Starfy: YOU CALL _WORK_ FUN STUFF?!

(As much as he doesn't want to, Starfy follows Yellow's orders and heads back to the level complete machine. With much shoving, both of them manage to get on it at the same time.)

Starfy: Owww…

Yellow: Hey, get your—

Moe: OW!

(Starfy and Yellow had been so busy arguing that they didn't even notice they were back on the map—on Moe.)

Starfy: Oops…sorry Moe.

Moe: *shoves Starfy and Yellow off* Apology accepted. *glares at Yellow*

Yellow: What? I'm sorry too!

Moe: Whatever.

Bunston: Hey! Guys!

Starfy, Moe, and Yellow: Bunston!

Bunston: I got the menus, Yellow! Could we go to Pop's Pizza Palace? It sounds great! They make pizza with almost anything there!

Yellow: What do you mean by that?

Bunston: Well, they can put anything on the pizza, or they can make a pizza-looking meal out of anything! Sound cool?

Yellow: …wellll…I guess we can go, since you're so cute.

Bunston: *bounces in place* Let's go!

(And thus ends the chapter that-)

Yellow: *smacks narrator* The epically Yellow end!

Starfy, Moe, and Bunston: *insertMewfacepalmplz*

Yellow: HEY! HOW COME YOU TWO GET TO DO IT AND I CAN'T?!

Starfy, Moe, and Bunston: Magical powers.

Yellow: *regular facepaw*

-Far away-

? 2: Why do I get the feeling that someone said 'magical powers' again?

Mewtwo: *facepalm*

* * *

End Notes: As noted, Mewtwo must facepalm every chapter. The next chapter might be a little late (like this one was…) simply because it is longer. I don't know how I'll survive writing the later levels…

Please review so I can be inspired and so Yellow doesn't use her dynamite on you.

Yellow: *lifts crate labeled TNT onto her head*

Chow!

PS: Normally I would've given the name of the book I got the info from at this point, but I read that several months ago when I was studying that and therefore can't remember what it was called. I'm lucky I can remember that fact. And the date should be in the earlier 1900s.

Really Chow for Now!


End file.
